A Light In The Soul

A light through the curtains. The sounds of the outside world going by. The sound of the wind that made the leaves rustle. It would be another day in my life that would go by.

I don't age, not until I find my soulmate. 'Just go out and find him,' people say when they hear me mocking life again. I wish it were that simple. In this world, which is filled with millions of people, my soulmate has already lived. He is dead, a piece of the past.

'Cullen,' I sighed. The only way I could see him was in my dreams. Every night I visited him in our world, the world we had made together. The world of the past. Every night I saw him and every time it felt like the first time I had seen him.

I remember when I first saw his tall figure, his rugged looks. At first he appeared weird to me, he wore clothes that must have come from the late nineteenth or either twentieth century, and when I first spoke to him, he was stone-cold. However, I did notice his southern accent and when I looked around me, really trying to discover where I was, it suddenly struck me. I was in the past. I was actually in the history of the world, or in this case, America.

Since then, I searched for him every evening. At first he remained very distant towards me, but I would not give up hope. There was more to him than what would meet the eye and I would soon discover what that was.

After a couple more visits, and me probably annoying him to the core, he finally opened up to me. He told me about the Civil War, in which he was on the losing side, and what it had done to him. To me, it sounded like he had PTSD, but he described it as ''the soldier's heart''.

We soon became friends and we looked forward to the night, when I could come back and we could help build the railway, which he was building as his new job.

Once I told him about my life in the reality, in the history that was still being written.

He had asked me a question then. 'Do you like living there?'

'No,' I had answered. 'I would rather be here with you than out there, feeling like I live the same day over and over again, for all eternity.'

'I wish I could be there, so that we can be together and live a happy live with each other until the day we die.'

'I wish we could too,' I had said to him and I had laid my head upon his shoulder, wishing we really could be together.

I came out of the bed and dressed myself. There had to be some way, some way that he and I could make things work. There just had to be. I would not give up, I would go on forever. Until the day I can finally die.