The Atheist

A man is unloved and that brings him sadness
He writes on no paper with no stamp and no address
He sends off a letter which is spoken aloud
He drifts off to sleep and awakes in the clouds

All I ask is for love for I am just a man
Will I be loved if I change who I am?

A voice makes no comment but makes a suggestion
What do you answer if wealth is the question?
You'll be proud but alone in all of your riches
Or nameless with nothing where the streets are most vicious

I cannot buy love, there's no love for a dead man
I have all that I need and remain as I am

A voice vibrates violence and the sun stings his eyes
I'll give you solution if the problem is height
You'll be twenty feet tall and crush the whole crowd
Or one foot tall you will crawl and you'll never be found

I will not receive love if I'm just half a man
I am six feet tall and remain as I am

A voice breathes a sigh and it rumbles like thunder
Love can be bought but it costs not a number
You'll be loved by no-one but you will love yourself
Or loved by all but a man who does not love himself

I seek love from just one and I will have her hand
I will gain my own love and remain as I am

A voice screams impatience as it makes its last offer
If you answer correctly I'll grant you a lover
I am a being but I am not just a man
I am ultimate and infinite, can you guess who I am?

What is my love worth if it has not been earned?
What worth is my life and what I have learned?
Am I a man of science or am I simply naive?
I know who you are but I do not believe.

Author's Note

Please let me know what you think!

Reviews

[Wórdsmíth]

Very thought invoking poetry. Lovely stanzas... you're written the write across. Every line is nicely written with much depths of your own insights. I like the title of the piece that speaks off your poetic words very well --- the depth of misery, love & its mazes. People want to know what life's about but they never come to understand what even the love has to be about. Beautiful rhythmic poetry you've come up with. Lovely story you've shown to your readers through poetry.

[I Shred This Cabbage]

This is a very thought -provoking piece, you are very gifted beautiful :)

A voice vibrates violence is a delicious grouping of words!

[GeraldFIngBurke]

Rock n' Roll man. I dig the ease of the rhythm. The simplicity of the story paired with the clever linguistics makes this a winner. I deeply enjoyed it. I'm hard pressed to find anything to critique here.

[Sam]

Oh, awesome. It doesn't just read well, it speaks to me on a personal level. Bravo.

[The Protagonist]

Thank you :)

[Rene Salinas]

Gentle strides are made by each line unfolding, the proposition is freindly and although you do let us know that he is unloved and that he seems intent to be loved I did not perceive heavy matter or desperation of even frustration towards an event or an entity, so the melody of the lines continue to unfold and the material impliations are brought to life with I cannot buy love ...... and then height... and the journey continues and here it is were and I hope you don't take this the wrong way came as an anti- climax , it felt like an awwww. With the lines love can be bought but it cost not a number.
Interestingly enough he does question himself and rather than give himself an explanation based in rationality which would have been cold and life - less you gave it twist as he recognizes the one who is offering but as he says he doesn't belive.

So here i am being stupid of course but it bears asking if he rejects even the most minutest of chances of any diety exsists, How would he know who he is?

Is it just me ?

My stupidity aside.

Thankyou

[The Protagonist]

Because many other people do believe such a thing exists, it, to him, is like a myth or a legend. It is meant to be presented as an oxymoron to try and convey his conflicting emotions. He is a man of science, therefore he has lived his whole life believing that there could be no such thing, yet here he stands with a voice talking through clouds telling him that he could grant him his wish. I don't think you're stupid, after all, it's all about interpretation! Also, I tend to write with great ambiguity because I like to see what my words mean to each individual reader. It's quite fascinating, really!

Thank you for your feedback :)

[Edward Lancheister]

excellent i like the imagery and provoke between the lines.

my favorite lines are

"I seek love from just one and I will have her hand
I will gain my own love and remain as I am"

that mean deep. keep it up and thanks for share

[The Protagonist]

thank you :)