Love

After my break up I couldn't sleep, I got up and wrote this. Never been edited.

It’s funny to be frank.

How I lie here.

Pondering and wondering.

Of things that might have been.

Kisses and hugs.

Sweet goodbyes and happy returns.

And i know they shall never be.

But still they set me on my weary way.

When i put my head to rest.

The sweet sound of your voice

And the beloved notion of your affection.

Send me off to a blissful sleep.

As surely as they ever did.

Author's Note

Okay so, i am unsure on the construction but as for the words used they are not being edited. This is literally what i felt when i was going through this hell and in this case i feel no other words suffice.

Beyond that all feedback is still appreciated.

Reviews

[Sarah Khalil]

The wistfulness you imbued into the poem is much more real than so many approaches to heartbreak. Nobody ever writes about those moments where you can derive comfort from the past, even in this state. I enjoy the form of the poem a lot - the full stops punctuating the end of every line show each distinct thought and add give the speaker a voice. The one line where a full stop is not used stands out, and shows that that's the point where the speaker is slipping away. It's only very, very slight, and that works very well for the feather-light snippet of a thought, the moment right before falling asleep, that this piece embodies. Thanks for sharing :)

[John Holmes]

Thank you so much! :) it means a lot to me that you read this, never mind reviewed it! thank you again so much :) I often struggle to notice my own techniques in poems, this sort of analysis and feedback is of great help to me! xx

[4$H]

DUDE... THAT IS SIMPLE AND POWERFUL. Really nice :O

[Traci]

I enjoyed this and thought it was a good honest write, and I love the fact you are not editing. Like many others, I can relate to this, and like the approach you took. Even in our darkest times, memories can be of comfort, once we release the anger. Hope the days ahead bring you much happiness.

[SyberRose]

Break ups are sad...nicely penned...:)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I quite enjoyed this, and it is a unique approach. Most people would take something like this and turn is dark or angry, but you have shown that even in the hard times, there are the blissful remembered moments that give comfort to one's current state. Great concept, and very relatable--I too have felt much the same way at different times in my life. Good work.

[alinamironova]

This is a beautiful poem which I felt I could easily relate to (as well as many other people), the light tone throughout it almost 'shrugs off' the topic of love, but I felt that a lot can be inferred from this. Wonderfully written.