Her silken
black hair flow in the air when the wind rages.
Such grace as tears caress her perfect face.
Her grey eyes a work of pure silver
and lips so luscious begging to be kissed.
She stands by the lake and gazes past the moon.
Upon the highest hill that’s where she prays.
In her ethereal gown she dances and I am mesmerised,
by a nymph of the night, a monument of living art.
She must be a dream and cursed I am,
for witnessing such brilliant beauty,
knowing it shall never be mine.
I cannot take my eyes off her.
I pull out a dagger to cut her heart,
the one I was never allowed to have.
Her life of innocence is fading away.
She looks at me with eyes screaming pain.
I looked away to avoid her stare,
out of guilt, out of despair. Zealous vigilance has poisoned my mind
It came to the worst, I took her life.
Blood of purity poured in my hands.
I am a sinner but she has saved me at last.
How could I kill what I have loved the most?
I weep on the ground and a tree is born out of her blood.
Or if I may Christina. I must say you and I have done this dance a number of times, and you have always been very loyal to do review for review. So allow me to thank you for that first. It is much appreciated.
Secondly, I have to say I love greek woman, they have a natural beauty about them, one that is second to none. So delicate, yet pout up the most fight when they have a wire around their neck. But anyway,
I do enjoy your taste of murder and violence. So beautifully done, yet so tragic that pity was felt for prey. Personally, if you chose to kill you have to look at the victim as an object or else it gets difficult....course the thrill becomes more exciting.
Such a beautiful read, such a great write. Well done my friend.
Wow So Lovely and very Creative even though trees and plants don't have the same nerves as us so they don't feel pain like we do but you captured her like a living beauty as they are alive but this is so neat how you brought this poem to life amazing Imagination. BRAVO god bless lily
Wow, very creative, didn't expect the ending although the picture gave us a hint and so did the title but still all the same. Just wow. Very interesting and intentse story/poem. I loved it, it totally captures your attention. :)
I like how the piece went from discribing beauty, what is seen, and what is felt to suddenly murder it really throws the reader through a loop. It really keeps the attention and makes you beg to read more and to understand how the poem suddenly changed to such. The way that you pulled together the title and the final line is beautiful it really makes the poem better instead of confusing someone. I really liked it.
Eerie and haunting... the worship of beauty a direct contradiction to the violence of the obsessed one who could never have her in life. Beautiful and brutal at the same time, this poem lingers in the mind like an aftertaste...
Ohh now this is good!
I love the vividness to this poem :) Your detail is brilliant here!
Something so mystical and yet raw here!
Brilliant poem, beautifully crafted!
xx
I love this! It's deeply described and makes it feel vivid... I can actually see it in my mind. Sometimes hurting what yoo love most can be horrible. Again I love this. Great poem (:
This is GORGEOUS. It flows so beautifully and neatly. The storyline makes me think of Shakespeare, how tragically beautifully you write. The word choice and descriptiveness of this piece is amazing, it describes what is happening with almost a calm regret. I love it.
I'm Christina Christodoulou at the age of 17. My native language is Greek and I live in Cyprus.
Awards:
Red Instinct Award (5th)
Aug 13, 2010
* The Thanatos Award Contest
* Beneath.. more..