As If It Never Were

Dear Ashley, I hope you read this because it shows my true feelings, the ones you said I didn't show, which I didn't. These words I would never have the guts to tell you in person after everything.

For those of you who don't know
We were friends not too long ago
Though if you watch
You will see
What isn't now
And cannot be
Though my heart wishes it were so
The answer has been stated
No

As I lay in my room
To awake for sleep
The pictures of you
I do keep
They are hidden in my heart and soul
And places no one else goes
But when I dare
To look and stare
I feel my heart
Sink from fear
For I have lost you now
And you have no plan
To ever be
Friends
Once
Again

But I will not show my face
The tons of sadness
My heart wishes to replace
With love
And hope
So full of joy
But instead my heart feels soaked in soy
So instead I lay in my bed
Nose stuffed
And eyes red
Silent crying
My heart feels dead
Throat sore
I long for more

But I cannot not be your best of friends
For that road has come to an end
I tell you sorry, but you don't care
You say, " I don't think our friendship could go anywhere"
Though we had plans
Ones full of hopeful longing
We said "Our friendship will never end,
For we are the bestest of best friends"

But now that is not true
For college we said we would go
But it was no use
To much work to ho

As much as I try
I can't replace
You
Within my heart
For I try
With the sweetest people
To fill them in
Where you tore me apart
But it never works
And I don't believe ever will
Because no one was
So strong willed and still
You made my day
When it was grey
And though this may sound cliche
My word cannot display
The feelings that I feel today
And that is why you did me away

So now we ignore
As if nothing happened
None of the picture perfect photos of you and I
Or even all those cars we danced for as they passed by
I am sure you see
Those seldom photos
In which you tagged " I love you"
For we were two
But now our friendship is far from view

And if you read this poem
I hope you know
I cherish those moments long ago
The gossiping
In my room
Or my dog in which we groomed
The daring ride we went on
Like children
So full of laughter
Or the yearbook signings
You wrote faster
For we were best friends us two
But Ashley
I wish it were still true