Prolouge

   Aidan was in a small dark room in the absolute middle of nowhere. He couldn't hear cars. He couldn't see buildings, but all he could hear was humming. It wasn't like the that came from a car, but it sounded like it was coming from a giant group of people. He tried to find it, but every time he got closer to it moved somewhere else.
The room was small so there wasn't a lot of room for him to move around. He got frustrated, and punched right through the wall.
 
           There was a hallway on the other side, so he decided to follow it. After walking for a while, Aidan came to a intersection. There were three ways he could go. The straight path was marked with a golden arrow. The hallway to his left was marked with a fire arrow, and the one to his right had no markings. Aidan didn't really know what to do, so he just kept going straight.

            As Aidan walked down the hallway he heard the cheers of a crowd. The sound got louder and louder until he came to a door. He debated if he should open it, or to turn around. After about five minutes he opened the door, and step into a giant stadium. The arena was the most massive thing that he had ever seen in his life. There were thousands of people cheering, but he couldn't see the reason why. He pushed past people to try to get a better look. They didn't even seem to know he was there. 

           When Aidan finally got close enough to see what the commotion was  about. He felt a pit form in his stomach. In the arena was a gladiator slicing the head off of another man. Then the next thing he knew he was standing next to the gladiator.

           The gladiator was wearing armor that covered his chest and head, but nowhere else. The gladiator turned around. The man looked exactly like Aidan. The gladiator looked over Aidan, and judged him with great strength.

            "You need to listen to me!" the man yelled," I don't have much time!"
     
            Then the man turned around, and stabbed another man in the chest.

            "Brother, when you wake up you must find me. The people who put me in here think that I'm somebody that I'm not, and also that somebody is you."
 
            "What?"

           "It's a long story, but you must tr-" and that was the last thing Aidan heard as his dream faded.

Author's Note

Constructive criticism

Reviews

[Krizito]

The idea and story that forms behind the curtain is great, but somehow I feel the curtain is kind of loose. You've described the setting really well but what of the character, was he scared, did he feel sick, was his heart in his throat? Stuff like that are the glues that will hold the curtain.

[Jacob Clifford]

It's clear that you have an idea and goal in mind. That's the most important part. Without that, your writing will meander and drag its feet and get nowhere fast. But be sure you don't take things too quickly. Be sure you give everything the detail it deserves and don't skimp out on the experiences.

One critique I have is that this story so far feels very impersonal. I don't really know what the character felt. Things happened to him, but I don't know how he felt about them, or the pains and emotions he experienced.

Having said that, you have an idea that seems unique. You've caught my interest. I hope to see more from you eventually.

[Maura Ansley]

Very like a real dream, though I've honestly had weirder. I have no criticism, sorry!