i cannot love you here anymore

i cannot love you here anymore.
there are no more birds of spring.
the trees in the arbor
my grandmother nurtured
have melted into the soil.
the hills do not sing.
the apple trees have no fruit.
the flies have come.
mice can be seen in the midst of the estate.

i am aching in my heart for those things gone.
the ache is like a tub of warm, wet clay
hanging on my heart.

my childhood teachers wrote promises in poems.
they cooed as sweetly as mama's pies while we drank in her stories cross-legged on the rug.
i remember our eyes,
forward and upward.
she tilted the pages and showed us the pictures,
and i believed her thoroughly. (as i'm sure we all did)
we were not jaded.

the war came.
cousins and friends were ripped apart by shrapnel and their arms and legs were left behind in jungles
and in rice fields.
it was heavier than the newsreel flapping its film at the end of class.
and the flag meant less each year.

i cannot love you here anymore,
but there is no other place
where i know how to.
i worry i may forget how to love
before they raise another flag with dignity.

Reviews

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I was just thinking about this earlier...when did it happen...i tried to pin point it...was it in the 90s or was it that big eye opener of the towers...we do not march as one, we are all to different in our differences, we have lost all empathy for one another. I never understood when people said things like I LOVED YOU ONCE BUT NOT NOW...isnt that a lie? If you dont love me now....then did you ever really>

[JimSatire]

There's something in my eye.....nice poem

[Coyote Poetry]

Honest, powerful and true story told in the words. Sometimes life teaches us, life can be sweet and life can be hard. Thank you my friend for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Brett Hernan]

Heartfelt, earthy, accessible, raw, pure and emotive. This work is relevant to the contemporary unpleasant situation which many throughout the earth today find themselves questioning. An impressive synthesis of ideas and your description of heartache

the ache is like a tub of warm, wet clay
hanging on my heart.

was precise. Heartfelt is the finest compliment I can give.

[barleygirl]

This is too brilliant for me to think of anything to comment on! I was completely transfixed by how vividly your message comes across, seeming to harken back to old times haunting, while also presenting a fresh present-day conundrum. The last stanza blows my socks off, it's so well written, so full of poignancy, so honest. This is great writing! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is fantastic, m.s.
wow...feels autobiographical...and really deep...the world is different and so much of it is ugly...
the idea is a conundrum...i can't love you in this kind of a world, and yet where else?
if we could regain our dignity....and be proud to be here...it might again be a place to love.
j.

[Kelly Scheppers]

"I am aching in my heart for those things gone." That line, and the line where you expressed the newsreel flapping its film at the end, gave this piece its relevance for me. I've often wondered though, where the love goes when it no longer takes residence within our heart. A part of it must remain within us, like the roots of a tree, enabling us to love again. Such a poignant piece, Matt.

[m.s.early]

The narrator still loves, but he cannot love from the place he currently stands. He is crying for a new perspective; one that resembles the romantic version he learned in childhood.

Thanks you for reviewing. Your thoughts are encouraging as always.

[Kelly Scheppers]

My pleasure, Matt.