victor talking machine

victor talking machine
msearly 2018/09/08

i used to listen to your songs crossed legged in your living room floor
while the sunshine beamed through your three square windows
on your front door
reflected on dust particles like weightless shards of silver in the air

caught poppa’s cigarette smoke

and landed just past the mortar shells he brought home from the war
he carved wooden projectiles on a lathe and sat them in those shells before I was born
and they sat there safely by the bookshelf by the door

cardboard cones that were thread spools from the mill
in a box i used for toys
rolled in a circle while The Carter Family whined on the victor talking machine

and i miss you so much it feels like my chest will sink inside itself forever
and i miss you so much i’m jealous of the universe for having you somewhere i’m not
and i miss your sunday afternoons
and i miss your hands
and i miss the glass of water by your bedside
and i miss the Wildwood Flower

i’m scared of the way my memory fades a little more each year
i still know your smell and your bedtime cough
and i’m holding onto them as long as i can

i grew to despise that old timey music when the electric guitars caught my ear
but now
these days
life doesn’t seem so far away
and the place you are hidden
doesn’t seem so far
and your great-grandchildren and i load into the mini-van
and drive all day to hear them play Long Black Veil
and i hold onto you a little longer
crying on the inside
looking for silver dust floating in the sunshine

Reviews

[Kelly Scheppers]

Such a palpable feel to this for me, as I'm sure it will be for all who are fortunate to come across it. My heart was in my throat as I scrolled further down the page to another heartache of a memory I know too well. You've penned something extraordinary here, Matt. Something that has made a lasting impression upon the heart and soul of me. Thank you!

[m.s.early]

Thank you sweetly Kelly. My grandma had been gone nearly 20 years and i miss her more all the time

[barleygirl]

The thing that makes these nostalgic poems the BEST is when packed with specific details that make it feel so authentic & original. You use a good balance of special memories & everyday memories, painting a balanced scene that conveys your longing. I sang & guitar-picked the song "wildwood flower" a thousand times, plus I also played "long black veil" . . . in this poem, you are singing my songs! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Lydia Shutter]

This poem punched me in the gut....missing your mother is an emotion like no other. Something happens and you want to tell her. Want to make her smile and see her dancing eyes. You experience something you know she would have appreciated and now, well, it is not the same because you can't share it with her. Those "dust particles like weightless shards of silver in the air" floated in my home too...and my father's smoke did waft through them. Oh my goodness, this poem is so me....so emotional....down to the old time music I used to detest...and now get teary eyed when I hear it. Sorry for rambling, but this poem, well, it is just fantastic. Thank you for sharing it with me. Lydi**

[m.s.early]

Thank you for such a wonderful review. 😍

[angel]

I loved this piece. I lost my daddy three years ago, and my mother joined him a few days ago. I remember his music; he loved Lonnie Donegan and Jimmy Dorsey(Green Eyes and Amapola).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI7U2Ys4DM0
Thank you for bringing him back for a little while. I could see him smile as I listened to the song.

[m.s.early]

Thank you for sharing that. Music has a precious way of preserving. We're both thankful for that. 😊

[emmajoy]

'.. and i miss you so much i’m jealous of the universe for having you somewhere i’m not
and i miss your sunday afternoons .. .. '

There are times when i read a piece of poetry or prose and wish to goodness or cuss-word that i had the skill to tug at heartstrings without melodrama or idiocy. Your metre, your phrasing, your way of feeling words is incredible. Truly is. As for sadness. that too, shines in an almost extraordinary way.

[m.s.early]

A wonderful review to read. Thank you so much.

[emmajoy]

Really was and is an absolute pleasure.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I cant even explain to you the connections that you bring to me with these pieces...all I can say is thank you for them!

[Corset]

A different kind of love poem and no less for it, gorgeous dedication to someone I miss as well, it's beautiful the way you describe the ambiance of the memory, how you narrowed it down into slow motion segments for us , I love this kind of poetry. This is Hummingbird Poetry. It hovers in mid air, like your silver dust.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

made me start thinking of Joan Baez' version of Long Black Veil.

and this made me miss my dad all over again...he passed about a year and a half ago.

but his memory is still so vivid.

thanks for this.

j.

[m.s.early]

Thank you Jacob. It's a pleasure having you review.