trudge

My skull feels like a water truck

rounding curves

on two wheels

its weight makes me lopsided,

but just as I begin to topple

 

my eyes close

breathe

breathe

breathe

"Don't forget" (a wiser voice is in my memory)

"There is more to life than you"

 

At night my shadows

cannot be seen beneath my blankets.

Though I am not yet in the fetal position,

I feel the panic of a thousand worries,

 

my eyes close

breathe

breathe

breathe

"Don't forget" (a wiser voice is in my memory)

"There is more to life than you"

 

When morning approaches

the coffee percolates

and my stare is blank

somewhere outside my kitchen window.

 

Though I've tried not to for so long

I still hate you a little.

 

SCREAMING!

in each shard of mirror

cracked shining like my teeth

on the bathroom floor,

remember

I know you,

(you tactless hag),

and I know your desperation,

it is, after all, your Achilles Heel.

 

Just as my car door closes shut,

my hand fear freezes on the ignition,

as I wonder if I'll leave the driveway

 

my eyes close

breathe

breathe

breathe

"Don't forget" (a wiser voice is in my memory)

"There is more to life than you

Reviews

[paddy d daly]

At night my shadows
cannot be seen beneath my blankets,
great lines and a poem full of emotion, loved the last two lines, full of sririt :)

[lost girl]

Oh Xavier! I'd reach out and give you a hug if I could. This one has more facets than I could ever dare to review. This is a piece of your "becoming" as I and a few others like to call it. It's dug from way down deep...
I am glad to see your digging....it's spring and the winds will bring many seeds to plant and will be collecting on promises made in winter. I'm keeping this one next to my heart with my prayers. Wishing you strength and peace for this rebirthing season. BIG Squishy HUGS!

[Brittany Zedalis]

The complexity and mix of emotions within this poem are overwhelmingly fascinating. This piece is extremely well done and is definitely a wonderful display of your talent. Very wonderful job. ^-^

[Lyn Anderson]

This is a complex piece. I feel like it's a mix of loss, anxiety, depression, with a dash of OCD and agoraphobia mixed in -- in other words, the average person's bad day, full of angst and trepidation.

[Corset]

There was a whole life time before there was you (for a tactless hag) and it shaped her / him into who you would write poems for, about, for good or ill, there is still emotion, I love that line, "I still hate you a little" could this poem be anymore life like? Hate is merely the flipside of love, that you feel anything at all is a sign of more or less exploration needed.
Anyone who has been pushed to the point of key in an ignition will relate to this poem so wonderfully, and it brings back so many times I put my own car in gear, and backed out of the driveway, people see you how they will, and by the experiences of their past and sometimes there is just no way around that fork in the road. I love your poetry!