trudge

My skull feels like a water truck

rounding curves

on two wheels

its weight makes me lopsided,

but just as I begin to topple

 

my eyes close

breathe

breathe

breathe

"Don't forget" (a wiser voice is in my memory)

"There is more to life than you"

 

At night my shadows

cannot be seen beneath my blankets.

Though I am not yet in the fetal position,

I feel the panic of a thousand worries,

 

my eyes close

breathe

breathe

breathe

"Don't forget" (a wiser voice is in my memory)

"There is more to life than you"

 

When morning approaches

the coffee percolates

and my stare is blank

somewhere outside my kitchen window.

 

Though I've tried not to for so long

I still hate you a little.

 

SCREAMING!

in each shard of mirror

cracked shining like my teeth

on the bathroom floor,

remember

I know you,

(you tactless hag),

and I know your desperation,

it is, after all, your Achilles Heel.

 

Just as my car door closes shut,

my hand fear freezes on the ignition,

as I wonder if I'll leave the driveway

 

my eyes close

breathe

breathe

breathe

"Don't forget" (a wiser voice is in my memory)

"There is more to life than you

Reviews

[Claire in VA]

Wow. 'You tactless hag.' This is so intense. We need to listen to that wise voice.
Super job.
A+

[Rita L. Sev]

An intense and emotional read, Xavier. Expertly written, you build suspense and immerse the reader in thought.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

"Don't forget" (a wiser voice is in my memory)
"There is more to life than you

I am mad at you....you've teased me...I'm addicted and now the wean begins...but there is more to life than me...or you. To move in a forward direction...you must move. It took me forever to realize I was standing still.

[paul sal.....]

There is I always feel like I am seeing through your eyes at the same life scape....

[Rose of many colours]

This is a very unique write. It appears that the character has a lot of struggle and is building up endurance whenever the tide turns.

[melissa]

This is a great poem keep up the great work and keep sending me more to read i love reading them

[Bright Ocean Star]

Xavier, this poem is scary, on so many levels. I've just been privately crafting a similar poem about voices in my head, being in the car with my hand on the ignition....mine was not satisfying, so I didn't try to publish it yet, but the stark similarities with yours is disconcerting. Yours suggests possible suicide? (an extreme interpretation) at the very least, a very disturbed individual driving and getting behind the wheel before he is in a calm, reasonable state. This could portend a car accident (a possible less extreme interpretation). This poem makes me think of my near constant mantra to my teenage son..."Girls are trouble: Stay away from them..You will be happier single". Aren't women a pain in the butt? (he-he). Some of us are not crazy, but look out for the crazy ones, my friend...

[Ruth]

Some of this painful, all of it, insightful, as always. Life is such a grand scheme, isn't it? Those pesky shadows like to remain unseen, but what if we have to face them, life is not what it seems ;) x

[redflutterby]

I held my breathe as I read this....the depth of your writing is beyond compare. This appears to be a personal write...the emotion in it is palpable. It grabs at the heart and tugs hard. I know I've felt what you expressed here so well. Like you're trudging through each moment of the day..just trying to get to the next point without completely breaking down. Sigh....profound ink here!