the mark

the sun was a lazy sigh

between looming towers of brick and steel

casting shade on a semicircle of shrills.

 

the mark doubling down.

 

cups spun fast as office gossip,

his neck craned to keep an eye,

the shell was irrelevant to everyone,

but the mark was focused,

although unnecessarily.

 

 

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

I'm doubling down that you will be a successful poet. Thank you for sharing...:).......

[m.s.early]

Very kind of you Sami. Thank you very much.

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...:)...............

[paddy d daly]

I just read your poem, I think I know what the context relates too, but even if I am wrong it's still a very good read and well constructed....I also read your ''about me'', it reminds me a little of where I come from, I noticed you referred to the virginia sky, you are the second person I have heard mention that, the other mention comes from a song referring to someones eyes, it goes ''a slice of virginia sky the clearest shade of blue'', so it must be true, anyway 'plough' on with the writing, best wishes, paddy d.

[m.s.early]

Very true about our skies. Thank you for your thoughts Paddy :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Love the cups spun line. A great write as always.

[m.s.early]

Thank you KL :)

[Lydia Shutter]

"the sun was a lazy sigh
between looming towers of brick and steel"

What a fantastic scene you set with your metaphor here! Very creative work. Lydi**

[m.s.early]

Thank you very much Lydia :)

[Jack...]

It is never where you think it is. Very cool my friend. This one had me guessing for a few minutes and then I pointed and luckily, got it right.

[m.s.early]

(: Thank you Jack. Cool review :)