when i heard your last whisper seep

when i heard your last whisper seep

the line disconnected,

the receiver still at my ear.

 

though sweating and perplexed,

i knew the simple arrangement was awry;

without a further notion

there was too much to ask for.

 

one unrealistic expectation after another

piled up like bricks,

mortared with sentiments,

and unkeepable promises.

 

without needlessly divulging too much,

suffice it to say,

i was the fool again.

Reviews

[Sugar Plum ♥]

very nice style, I liked the end so much...In my imagination appeared old Italian movie, while a man talk with a woman, from the street phone, I can see just the lips of her in dark lipstick and hear sound of the line cut...(even this moment is just so abstract, not related to the whole), but the end proves the "Italian" part :)

::n.nour ::
::03.014::

[Rita L. Sev]

one unrealistic expectation after another
piled up like bricks,
mortared with sentiments,
and unkeepable promises.

Relationships are built on these, and crumble without proper insulation... Excellent, Xavier.

[s y e]

Hmmmm, relationships can be some complicated stuff man, maybe it would leave you wondering if it is worth it but if you love the person then the answer is yes, it is. You stick with it. I loved this, it is so heartfelt.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Relationships are complicated .This is very heartfelt Xavier :)

[Mockingbird]

the fool for having been responsible for it or a fool for allowing this to happen to him again and not having learned their lesson the first time. it's ambiguous to me. the penultimate stanza implies the arrangement was doomed from the start and they were both fools for believing it.

[Frieda P]

Is there any such thing as 'simple arrangement' when it comes to relationships, I think not. We'd love for it to be the way it was when it started without the complexities of 'life' getting in the way but, then ultimately you're left on the receiving end with that last whisper'd hush. Another outstanding read my friend. :-)

[Lyn Anderson]

I love this from beginning to end. A complex relationship. An unresolved ending. Feeling foolish yet again. I can relate.

[Brittany Zedalis]

suffice it to say,
i was the fool again.

This is really good.

[Sami Khalil]

"piled up like bricks,

mortared with sentiments,

and unkeepable promises."

You have portrayed those expectations marvelously...Without further due, bravo..............