October

It was October when your deterrent wind left us

immured in our rue,

stoic and capsized,

dumbstruck and breathless.

We once were unimpeachable towers 

casting shadows on local fare

having harnessed your power,

your beauty, your company;

now humbled and cold,

bewildered and confused.

We became subterranean dwellings

seeking amnesty from your gales.

We remembered the thin whistle, 

how the deciduous forest barely bent 

in your kinetic energy.

You purloined the bouquet of the Heathers 

and Chrysanthemums 

from listless gardens you never tended.

We were unsuspecting and naive,

frolicking in front of the fireplace;

our hinges compromised,

nevertheless our hearths were in gracious salutation,

and were reminded the last time

your breeze placated our perturbation

and how you suffered before our occasion.

You were longed for like sweet spring breezes,

hushed confessions grazing our fields,

and you harvested our hospitality;

in our soul we berthed premature affection

until our credence ripened 

and you realized that you were a gust

that no abode could contain.

Our doors creaked in the dead of an October night

not possibly suspecting your recession

or awaking to find we were disfavored furniture

overturned in your wake

left dumbstruck, bewildered,

wind-burnt,

promising our forlorn walls

we would never tarnish in your vapor again.

Reviews

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

You thought it wouldn't happen...it did...it happens when we get to comfortable...there are times we set ourselves up for disappointment. Never knowing, always wanting...fearing each moment...we crack. I don't know which is worse...being absent...or feeling abandoned...powerful, emotion, emersive write X, like only you do.

[DaughterNature]

The force of the season in this is amazing! As usual, your wordplay is fantastic as well. However, even though you have chosen to use lots of strong descriptors, the verb "to be" (were) presents itself a lot in this piece, and it detracts from the power and momentum. Also, in the 4th stanza, did you mean "hearths" (like the part on a fireplace) or "hearts" (where we consider the emotions to reside) -- I wasn't sure, since you used fireplace imagery in the same stanza, but in that particular line seemed to be describing emotions.

[KatDarkness]

I really like your choice of words here, and how you described everything :) My favourite line - "nevertheless our hearths were in gracious salutation" excellent!

[Sami Khalil]

Winds keep blowing in our directions shaking our homes as well as problems keep shaking our foundations. Fortifications are a must as well as strong wills to survive come what may...A powerful poem with a great message...:)........

[Mockingbird]

sounds like he or she had all the goodness they needed but fled one night with reasons unbeknownst to the loved ones. perhaps the person felt stifled and just had to get out. i like the metaphor of the wind representing the subject.

[m.s.early]

Thank you mockingbird. The wind was the loved one in the poem. And I tried to represent the family as the home. It was a story of a wind that continued to blow through a home until the home just couldn't bear it leaving anymore. You can't tame the wind, but you can fortify your home.

[Frieda P]

I adore this xavier, it could speak to the season or a loved one, at least it does to me.

'a gust that no abode could contain'...wish I would have written that line. So many great one's, wrapped up in the intensity of this genius read. Kudos!

[m.s.early]

Thank you Frieda. I'll cherish this review. To say that you wish you had penned it is the greatest compliment a writer can get in my book. I often think that whenever I learn a new Leonard Cohen song.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Being betrayed by a loved is a hard pill to swallow as it were.But ultimately sometimes it van be for the best :)

[m.s.early]

Thank you Vidya. I think the only thing worse than being betrayed is being betrayed twice... fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i see two trees in a forest overturned by an awfully strong wind...but at the same time i see a metaphor for the two towers in NY city...remembering how they fell..how they had stood so tall, what they represented...

and how they made an awful sound...when a tree falls in the woods, somebody hears it.

magnificent poem...

jacob

[m.s.early]

(: thank you so much for reading Jacob. And I really appreciate the relation of the twin towers that I had not considered. Isn't wonderful the way poetry lends itself to the reader? Keep the faith, brother :)

[Claire in VA]

I feel sadness as I begin, for she or possibly he left after being there awhile. The narrator ultimately forgives her tresspasses, but finally figures out that the abandonment is actually a good thing for everyone involved.

I am a firm believer that all things happen for a reason. This journey happened perhaps to make the narrator stronger, a better leader.

As usual, you are a master of imagery. You included more punctuation than usual which is a wonderful thing for me as a reader. I will add that I believe that you have strong command of the English language.

For lack of a better word, this is a "deep" poem. I will be rereading it to see what else it reveals to me.

Great writing from Virginia! You represent the Commonwealth well!

~Claire. (Now you get to tell me if I understood it at all ! ;-)

[m.s.early]

Thank you Claire, you were right on the money. There are those that love us and move on for one reason or another. At some point the discord of their lack of fortitude prevents them from trudging with the rest of the home and it can only be endured for so long. I believe in forgiving, but I do not believe in forgetting. A fool forgets and allows misery in twice. A friend told me this story. I can stick my hand in a dog pen and have it bite me. I can forgive the dog for being a dog, but I don't have to keep sticking my hand in the pen...

Ok, I'll get off my soapbox now... :) Thanks for reading

[Claire in VA]

You're welcome.
Keep writing Xavier.
Talented you are.
***Claire***

[Linda alexander]

You were longed for like sweet spring breezes,
hushed confessions grazing our fields,
Our doors creaked in the dead of an October night
not possibly suspecting your recession
or awaking to find we were disfavored furniture
Great write, describing how welcoming one is, and concluding how much pain and suffering for loosing that breeze, really enjoyed

[m.s.early]

As usual, thank you so much Linda. :)

[Linda alexander]

You most welcome, take care