family history

uncles are lecturing nephews from four wheel drive tailgate stages

gathering us young'ens around to listen to them close.

they are loudly wielding concoctions and revving up their voice,

and refueling tales of yesteryear with romance and libations.

in the attention of these burly men dispensing provincial pearls,

like how to woo a woman and how to hold your liquor like a man

while mothers are out of site, too far from ear shot to reprimand

and the young boys snicker while hedonistic tales unfurl.

the uncles reminisce and romanticize their antics nostalgically

like donuts in poppa's cornfield and coming home late all the time,

and the boys still wide eyed fold the story into a timeless memory,

tuck it into bib-overalls along with ball bearings and slips of twine,

the things that pockets are always filled with when learning family history.

Reviews

[redflutterby]

Lol...ive seen this many times. Reminds me of more then a few family gatherings. Another wonderful poem...you paint pictures of simple life in such an amazing fashion. ;-)

[DaughterNature]

The idea behind this is splendid! And there are true moments of language brilliance: "tuck it into bib-overalls along with ball bearings and slips of twine" is my favorite line. Unfortunately, the piece is still having some growing pains in terms of language choice. I had a very smart person once tell me that the verb "to be" is just not strong enough to stand up in poetry, and usually not strong enough to keep the readers' attention in prose. So I would challenge you to remove those three "are"s you have floating around. Further, as vibrant as some of the language is, "reminisce" and "romanticize" are rather bland and over-used words for describing story-telling -- show me a fresh image!

[AYVID]

I was fascinated by the title of this poem. And you did total justice to it. You have expertly created the picture of a family, a clan, and all the joys of being part of one. The reader can also appreciate the flair with which you have written how stories are spun into time-tested fables and legends, that pass along generations of a family.

"and the boys still wide eyed fold the story into a timeless memory,

tuck it into bib-overalls along with ball bearings and slips of twine,

the things that pockets are always filled with when learning family history."


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A masterpiece from you. I just have to applaud!

[m.s.early]

Wow. I'm so glad you enjoyed it this much Divya! Thank you for reading :)

[Linda alexander]

the uncles reminisce and romanticize their antics nostalgically
like donuts in poppa's cornfield and coming home late all the time,
and the boys still wide eyed fold the story into a timeless memory,
tuck it into bib-overalls along with ball bearings and slips of twine,
the things that pockets are always filled with when learning family history.
A great write, and it is very true too, those uncles are great to do that, so many will relate this poem to their family history including myself, enjoyed fully

[m.s.early]

(: As usual Linda, your review is warming. Thank you for reading :)

[Lyn Anderson]

This is really great, and an interesting way to present how things are passed from one generation to the next.

[m.s.early]

(: Thank you KL :)

[Jack...]

Them pockets can be very deep at times. It's always push/pull when it comes to family, but in the end...ain't it grand. Very cool X

[m.s.early]

It is indeed, Jack. I have a big, big family that goes back for centuries. We have a surplus of priceless stories that will keep you rolling :) Thanks for reading :)

[Frieda P]

So this 'man' lunacy is passed down through generations, now I get it! I meant, good read xavier ;-)

[m.s.early]

Ha! It's all coming together for you huh? Lol. I'm sure it works the same in the other, more lovely gender... maybe softer, but just as sharp words :)

[Mockingbird]

so nice to get a glimpse into the bonding of uncles and nephews and the reminiscences they share with boys at an impressionable time in their lives. brings to mind an initiation into a brotherhood exclusive to men where
'...the young boys snicker while hedonistic tales unfurl'
'provincial pearls' and 'liquor like a man' are phonetically pleasing on the tongue.

[m.s.early]

(: thank you so much mockingbird. rites of passages bestowing... careful who we learn from... careful to behave; we never know who's watching or what they'll take away :)

[Sami Khalil]

There are always those ones that define the family and the ones that go against the grain so to speak. Every family have their wise and foolish ones and they all have a unique story to tell...Thank you for sharing this cool write...:)......

[m.s.early]

thank you sami :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).....................