her laughter is baby-sweet

Her laughter is baby-sweet;

cooing doves just past the tree line,

spring evenings with wind chimes

though commissioned by virgin breezes

are all but pale, demure concinnities.

And pleased am I now that her harmony

is kept domiciled, a hearthstone 

in the addresses of my memories.

Her smiles are lullabies and symphonies,

outriders sustaining her consonance;

inasmuch as having them 

I should never feel alone.

Reviews

[asdarkeyesclose]

'Her smiles are lullabies and symphonies,
outriders sustaining her consonance'

I loved the romantic overtones. easily into the finals. fantastic.

[Claire in VA]

This is a beautiful description.
This has GOT to be about MY daughter's laughter because it describes it perfectly!

Love it!

~Claire in Virginia

[Ruth]

I can hear such music to this and what I like about it is the fact any music style would suit it, beautifully worded, as always...piano rush and strings...in my mind lol x

[DaughterNature]

This is very nice, I like the lilting rhythm and the almost-rhymes. The imagery is fresh and original, I can't find very much to change about this. The only thing that seems "off" is the first 2 lines in the second stanza: it almost sounds like the speaker wants to contain the laughter? All in all, very nice!

[m.s.early]

(: thank you... i suppose he does want to contain it. the essence of it anyway. i'm a musician. I have a library of sounds in my head that i categorize. so the narrator doesn't want to contain it like a lightening bug in a jar, but retain the essence within his own essence perhaps.

[DaughterNature]

oh, that makes a lot of sense! Poetry and music go well together, good combo!

[Jack...]

Baby sweet memories that fuel our hearts ability to dream. X, I beggining to see a much softer side of you coming out. Loved this one man.

[m.s.early]

(: thank you so much Jack :)

[Linda alexander]

I should never feel alone.

And pleased am I now that her harmony
is kept domiciled, a hearthstone

The poet tries to bring the point the majestic harmony of spring is way paler than the harmony with him and the precious memories of her, using poetic freedom and license abundantly, the key is he feels like there is no need to be alone, wow, that concept is really precious , enjoyed it

[Lyn Anderson]

This is an interesting piece. I rarely interpret, but I feel this -- living with the memory of the good times is the place this person should be, because perhaps the other times are not something the author wants to remember. But that could just be me, putting my spin on it. At any rate, didn't notice a stray comma anywhere!

[m.s.early]

(: thank you for your astute review KL. On point as usual. My punctuation thanks you as well... lol :)

[AYVID]

Very romantic, comforting and beauiful...

[m.s.early]

(: thank you divya :)

[Frieda P]

Reads like a sweet lullaby on your page, love 'commissioned by virgin breezes'...enjoyed :-)

[m.s.early]

(: thank you Frieda :)

[Frieda P]

My pleasure, I muchly enjoyed your baby sweet concinnities. ;-)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

So sweetly described... her laughter must be angelic!

I enjoyed reading this wonderful love poem! :))

[m.s.early]

(: thank you robbie, and indeed it is :)