i will not write other than you

i don't want to write about anything

other than your lips and the way i watch them

when you sing (they are after all, my darling dear,

the place i kiss you most but not only)

 

it seems a page wasted

to proclaim anything other than

your peach pit knot bivouacked within

my heart (it is a lovely weight

i joyfully bear, my darling)

 

i will not write of anything

other than your blazing eyes -

they reveal truth where there is none declared

and discover me

 

if your pervasive eyes should

ever cease to love my writes

i fear i will scrap all i have ever created

and drown my poems in the bottom of the ocean

and strangle my pens and

break off all of my fingers

and burn them with the fuel

of the ink i have wasted

 

no energy is worth more

from the strain of my desperate fingers

than descrambling the visceral mosaics of my love

and canonizing them into volumes

of verse for you to reread before

casting your eyes off to sleep

every

single

night,

my darling

Reviews

[DaughterNature]

I like this, the idea is really good and so is the flow. The comment I have for this one is organization: free verse can be tricky because there are no guidelines as to where to end lines! In this case, I feel like a lot of lines were ended arbitrarily, without much reason (or rhyme! ;) ). Remember that, when writing in free verse, lines can be used to accent ideas or words left on lines alone, beginning lines, or ending lines, so organization is key!

[m.s.early]

(: thank you so much for this review :)

[Linda alexander]

if your pervasive eyes should
ever cease to love my writes
i fear i will scrap all i have ever created
and drown my poems in the bottom of the ocean
and strangle my pens and
break off all of my fingers
and burn them with the fuel
of the ink i have wasted
It poem succeeded in expressing how deep the love is towards her and expressed fully, great write

[m.s.early]

(: thank you linda :)

[Linda alexander]

You welcome, take care