silence

let me touch your voice when it isn't silent;

let not the mute of your written words define your love,

push pass and give me the sound of your heart,

press my ear to sweet utterances describing

fantasies though they will never render.

 

always if they must my feet will callous on roads to you

and crooked fingers pry Hell's terrain.

i will feel the yoke of a thousand miles

and trudge them all 

to berth my soul as your witness.

 

a bitten pity in purgatory,

cursed with the taste of a quiet venom

because you scream at me in empty consonance.

just a whisper, just a mutter...

no matter how audible,

just to disperse this forsaken fume.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I wonder why I was not ready to read this before....but maybe it's because I've never been endured this passionately...well least not in this lifetime....supreme write X!!!

[Sami Khalil]

This was great. I loved it alot...Thank you for sharing...:)................

[Robbie~xoxo~]

This is a beautifully torturous piece!
Sweet and painful meets desire...how can one read this without feeling it?
You paint a touching picture... the dark colours on your canvas moves me...

"a bitten pity in purgatory,

cursed with the taste of a quiet venom

because you scream at me in empty consonance.

just a whisper, just a mutter...

no matter how audible,

just to disperse this forsaken fume."~ Profound write!...very powerful! :)

[m.s.early]

(: thank you robbie. isn't love torture at times? :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

yes, indeed it can be...sweet torture. :)

[justjenn_2u]

With three stanzas and 5 lines each, you exude inner feelings to show your true self has heart and soul. To me, this poem feels lyrical and I guess that comes from the musician in you. This is a descriptive piece and explains the person she is. The reaction of your emotions in comparison to the type person she is seems quite redemptive to me and allures strength to climb mountains. You show true imagery throughout and how she touches your senses. I love this poem. Write on.

[m.s.early]

(: thank you Jenn :)

[danish]

Its really great and emotional loved it...

[m.s.early]

(: thank you danish :)

[danish]

Hwz my eternal love poem?.

[Brittany Zedalis]

Oh, the things we'll do for love. This is wonderful.

[m.s.early]

(: thank you so much Brittany :)

[Lyn Anderson]

A very romantic piece, but with an edge.

[m.s.early]

(: thank you KL :)

[Linda alexander]

i will feel the yoke of a thousand miles
and trudge them all
to berth my soul as your witness.

a bitten pity in purgatory,
cursed with the taste of a quiet venom
So hard to believe one will do that for the love, if it is true all the best and really proud of that soul, really loved and enjoyed it, using poetic freedom to offer promise of high price, any how intensity of your love is so vivid and loud in this poem, great write

[m.s.early]

(: thank you linda. i think she's worth it :)

[Linda alexander]

let me quote bible, let your belief save you, you welcome any time, I also think she's worth it

[DaughterNature]

There are definitely some things I like about this (turning "callus" into a verb, the "taste of quiet venom"). On the reverse, there is very little direction in terms of punctuation or capitalization, so the reader could get lost in the phrasing and not be sure of the direction. Also, even though you have some lovely images like I mentioned, there are also some weaker, cliched moments (screaming in silence, a snake equated with purgatory, feeling the weight of years on your back). However, nicely done!

[m.s.early]

(: duly noted. thank you for such a constructive review :)