take out

her hair, still wet from an afternoon shower

slick and black and kinky-curly

thought best grab lunch in a hurry

before the snow came

and the lights went out

stepped out of her mini-van in front of Kia Xia

chanced upon a friend

their eyes touched

his eyes seemed to be searching

but hers just said hello

he opened the door for her 

and touched her back with his palm

in a way that said more than hello

looking back he noticed

her front tires were fairly worn

not important now

there were still miles left on them

they disappeared inside

power company trucks warmed diesel engines

snow plows deployed from the sand domes

everyone on kings street seemed to be getting ready

one by one flakes appeared from the sky

they stepped out and the air surrounded them

and began to freeze

he opened her driver's door

her hands were full of take-out

who said chivalry is dead

not noticing her tires were balding

she strapped her seat belt

he closed her door, regretted lacking the courage

to say what was weighting his heart

looked back

but she was fumbling with the ignition

stuffed his hands in his pocket

reluctantly walked away

noticing the snow is getting heavier

he walks a little faster

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'take out'
m.s.early,
This is an analytical look at the what ifs in life. These two people you write about both miss the beauty of meeting half way. She does not encourage him. He does not reach out quite eneough. I guess the message is; what is valued? They don't seem to take the final step to find a place of sanctuary in one another. I trembled at the times in life as he did knowing another needs looking after but it is set aside. Bad weather as in this poem may be what takes her away. Your title really fits!
Great piece.
Blessings,
Kathy

[s y e]

Hmmmmm, this seems like you could take it on and add to it.... but I liked it.

[Lyn Anderson]

I kind of expected it to end with her crashing and them never meeting. Anyway, good write.

[m.s.early]

(: maybe next time they meet he'll be able to tell her :)

[Ahena MK]

really good ...
well written ..
ahena :)

[m.s.early]

(: thanks ahena :)

[Mockingbird]

i can't say why but it has a dark and gothic feel to it. there's a sense of foreboding throughout. the narrator gets into the character's head but doesn't reveal everything of what he's thinking. it makes the impact all the more intense. the descriptions make the scene vividly urban. no bales here.

[m.s.early]

(: thanks mockingbird :)