gold water army

intentionally placed each stitch;

heavens seamed, woven within.

seamstress calloused, dejected, and thick,

driven, fatigued, and needle pricked.

back to work spinster, weave and spin.

her soul, it strained to stay in stride,

and her bounds were weakening and thin...

wondered if nature's fabric would be best untied,

and the seamstress revolted inside.

she ran the loom now in reverse.

worlds began to quake, collide.

where was the Tailor of the Universe?

nature's sutures coiled up on the floor,

having been excluded, He ignored.

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

Two things strike me about this work, M.S. The story line reminds me of the brothers Grimm tale Rumpelstiltskin spinning straw into gold...and I seem to recall one version of that story where the spell was broken when the girl reversed her loom...and the title would seem to be a reference to Barry Goldwater and his campaign for president that failed.
That being said...it is a cautionary tale of Man abusing Mother Earth and imperiling his existence by doing so.

A good write.

[m.s.early]

Thank you so much for your astute review. You got it on all accounts.

Blessings...

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'gold water army'
m.s.early,
This reminds of a thing of beauty which is not desirous
to be beautiful anymore and is rebelling against its maker-weaver-seamstress.
You explain the process of fatigue and dismay within the process of caring
that becomes heavy and apathetic.
intentionally place each stitch;
heavens seamed, woven within.
seamstress calloused, dejected,and thick,
driven, fatigued, and needle pricked.
I found myself wondering at this world which seems
to be loosening at the seams and so tired of it's very sense of moral decay.
'nature's sutures coiled up on the floor,
having been excluded, He ignored.
A great poem to ponder. Your finesse and sense of mystery is also wonderful.
Blessings,
Kathy

[m.s.early]

This is the most meaningful review i have ever received.
Thank you very kindly

[Kathy Van Kurin]

You are very kindly welcome. and surly my pleasure. Have a good week.
Kathy

[Claire in VA]

Dense with meaning.
~Claire in VA

[Brittany Zedalis]

I really enjoyed reading this one.

[m.s.early]

(: thank you :)

[asdarkeyesclose]

'she ran the loom now in reverse.'

i guess we all have to rebel at some point. i enjoyed your sonnet, we do not see a lot of them in these parts and that makes them all the more precious. i like that you don't keep the meter strict but just allow the poetry to flow, the result is far more pleasing and musical to the ear. fantastic.

[m.s.early]

(: thanks ghostdawn. I was thinking that if the planet earth were the seamstress then corporations have spent a lot of her resources and expect more. Maybe she is near her breaking point. :)

[justjenn_2u]

So she planned every detail as if manipulation - perhaps by chance, on purpose or subconsciously. She doesn't know and neither do you. Others who dealt with her (perhaps she needed the Scarlett letter A) received bruises and it was almost too much to take. She struggles with herself, an addiction, but she dreams of being woven perfectly. Could she remain and become what others saw in her - the strength with her demure. If she could grasp it, perhaps she will be woven again. When it all fell apart, what happened to someone leading her? She lie there in ruination. He had to ignore because it was too painful.

Deep poem full of symbolism and a bit hard to swallow although I see growth.

[m.s.early]

(: than you Jen :)

[Lyn Anderson]

This was a goose bump giver for sure. I am surprised no one has yet commented. Perhaps they are afraid to offend the gods. At any rate, a challenge for me, as you use punctuation profusely yet accurately and beautifully, and it tests my own sensibilities. I tend to, by in large, strip most poems of punctuation, yet I love what you did with it here.

[m.s.early]

(: thank you KL. :)