Cold Coffee

There's a place that I used to go
Where there's art on the walls
And I could see everyone with their dreams
In their own little world,
All while I, too, was waiting
To be in my little world
That I refused to believe was made of glass.
Sipping coffee and sketching;
Walking around and seeing the world
And the things in it worth stopping,
Taking a peaceful moment to see the colors
And the flowers, and the park which several people
Dedicated so much time to create.
I didn't know that last goodbye was it.
It was the grey in a brightly colored earth.
It seems almost like a Goodbye that I once read about.
I stopped drinking coffee afterwards,
After words,
I haven't been back since.
I don't know if the art has changed
And I hear the park has been hurt.
I stopped taking the time to look
At all of the beautiful things around me.
I stopped trying to believe in things like
Everyone has some good,
Or forgiveness is possible.
Guilt never alleviated,
Instead built higher.
I didn't see colors for weeks
And I guess I didn't care to.
I was reckless for a moment,
And then I burnt out.
I locked myself inside of my head
And when I was able to come out
It seemed like I'd always lose control over something,
End up crying because I couldn't bring myself to
Think like I was supposed to.
I got numb after a while but
I guess that's no better
Because eventually you just get bitter
I spent every day faking a smile
And it seems like that's how it'll be
Until I can force myself to come to terms with
And accept me as me.
I've got a lot of regrets and
Maybe someday I'll get past them so that I can live
With the colors again.
/I guess here it is
Even though this poem's a mess
Jumbled together
Would've come together better as a letter./

Author's Note

There were positive things that I wanted to say in this as well however I can't find the words for them. There were some other things too but its been so long everything I want to say doesn't seem to go together like it should. There's a lot more I'd like to say but I suck I guess. Deal's a deal, though.
Edit: this sucks so bad. I can't write the way I used to. It's a mess, jumbled together.

Reviews

[Jessica]

Try adding the rest too it. Get it on the page then go from there

[t.m.]

Maybe after you post yours. I put effort into it, the stuff I want to say with all of it just is jammed I guess. Like a machine with an out of order sign.

[t.m.]

Tried to fix it, failed. I'm sorry.