Father's Song

Losing identity.

I've walked across mountains and valleys

Seen starlit oceans and the darkest alleys

But I've traveled alone so long

I falter now, to sing the song

Of strength, peace, happiness and joy

I knew so well as a boy

The language seems foreign, I don't understand

But I hear the echo and it steadies my hand

To find the source feels right in my heart

I looked around but don't know where to start

Reviews

[Vincent]

I don't know much about poetry, but your words describe exactly how I feel.

[Imara]

Remember punctuation. That's the way to get the reader to read it the way you wrote it and how it sounds in your head. I was out of breath (I read it out loud)

I love the rhyme, it really helps the flow its great. It took me three readings to find the meaning of this piece but I think I got it now. It's about a mans midlife crisis,or retirement. Our narrator is looking back on his life as a boy and he feels empty now, like he hasn't been doing those things that he loves for so long. Those adventures and he knows that some how he can get back and do them again, because he's done it once before but he doesn't know how. At least that the feeling that I've gotten. Over all I loved every bit of it, please let me know the meaning behind this piece :)

[Bradley]

You seem to have really understood where I was coming from with this poem. I wrote it when I was in the Navy and spent years away from home. The mountains, valleys, oceans and allies are quite literal as I have been all over the world. But being away from my home and family for so long took a toll on my own identity. Of course I could still communicate with people I loved via email or phone calls (mere echos of talking in person,) but that didn't entirely satisfy me. Since writing this I have moved back home to 'find the source.'

Thank you so much for your insight. And about that punctuation...I'm sure you've noticed I hardly use any - I'll have to work on that.

[Imara]

Wow. First of all thank you for protecting our country. Second so much more makes sense now, your really a great poet and your words hold so much meaning.
Yes, I started out not using a lot of punctuation, same as you. The reader reads to the punctuation though. I find that reading it out loud really helps :)