Walking up the path to the Inbetween and having the scenery look familiar felt strange. It was so dark that I could barely see where I was going. I could make out the outlines of the thick forests that surrounded the path. The crunch of the gravel was the only way I could tell if I was still on the path. And when the rank smell hit me I knew I was coming close. I pulled my thin cardigan tight around me, securing it into place with my folded arms. Even during the summer it was chilly at night. There was an odd chill to the area around the Inbetween, though. Like it was growing cold just like the people who lived inside.
I could see the wall coming into view from the faint bit of light that a light pole was giving out. A blurry figure stood not to far away from the light. When I saw the skinny frame a small smile spread across my lips. Ignoring the smell and the goosebumps on my arms, I quickened my pace. I couldn't wait to see him and tell him about the ideas Anastasia, Matthias, and I had came up with. I highly doubted that he would disagree with them, that wasn't what I had to be nervous about. I was nervous about the fact that I wasn't entirely sure how we planned on doing all of this. We were only teenagers. How likely would it be that such a high government would listen to us?
As I got closer to Ander I felt my heart start to beat faster, and I suddenly didn't feel so cold. What was I going to say to him? How would I bring it up? I ran my tongue over my lips and tried to calm my thoughts. I was comfortable around him last night so everything would be fine tonight, too.
Once I reached him it was like everything went blank. I forgot what I was going to say, and for a second I forgot why I was even there. Ander smiled at me, showing that he possessed some amazing dimples, as I stuttered and stumbled over the simplest word. "H-hi," I managed. It was the eyes. Darn those beautiful emerald eyes that get me all twitchy and..bleurgh.
Ander chuckled, grinning even more as my cheeks grew so hot that I could have sworn they were on fire. "Hi," he replied smoothly. Okay, how in the world was it possible for an Inbetweener to be so cool and smooth and sociable. Wasn't that supposed to be, like, against genetics or something?
As I stood there being all stupid and giggly and...girly, a little bit of harsh reality picked at my brain. Well, the one side of my brain that hadn't completely turned to mush and forgotten how to speak intelligible words. We were standing with smiles on our faces. Yet, on the other side of that wall was a stack of decaying bodies, empty stomachs, filthy children, void hopes. The worst place that I could ever imagine was only steps away, the worst smell tickled my nose, and the skinniest boy stood merely inches away. But there was a smile on my face, and there was a smile on his, too. Maybe, just maybe, there was a little bit of hope.
Slowly my mind started to get less fuzzy, and I was able to do something other than giggle like a fool. "How are you?" I tucked my bangs behind my ear, and did my best to maintain the smile.
Ander shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'm doing good. Better now that you're here." He winked at me, but even he had to laugh at himself.
I rolled my eyes good naturedly and tilted my head to the side, letting my bangs fall forward again. "I'm sure you are," I replied, smirking a little at the way he chewed on the inside of his cheek.
He slid down the length of the wall, landing with his knees pressed against his chest. He slung his arm over one knee and used the other to pat the ground beside him. "Sit down if you want."
I obliged and joined him on the grassy area against the wall. The rock of the wall felt cold and damp against the back of my neck that was exposed from me pulling all my hair to one side.
For awhile we talked about nothing in particular. Soon, though, I decided it was time for me to talk about the idea. I turned my body to face him, and in the pale lighting of the lamp post, I could see him perfectly. In that moment I realized just how different we really were. Literally from two different worlds. I wore white capris, a flowy mint green top that was pressed to perfection, and a coral cardigan. I was clean and my hair was straightened just the way I liked it. Ander, on the other hand, didn't look quite as put together. His thin white t-shirt and jeans were worn, stained, and tattered. If nothing else, though, his appearance made me even more determined to do something about this.
"Ander, there was something I wanted to talk to you about," I said, finally breaking through the silence that felt almost welcoming.
He gave me an expectant look. "What's that?"
"You know how you told me about the government in New Jersey that sent you food? Well, I was wondering if you could tell me a little bit more about them."
"Of course. Actually, if you don't mind going back in there," he pointed in the direction of the Inbetween, "I could show you some textbooks I have that tell about the factions of each state. There's one that has all about the factions of New Jersey," he explain enthusiastically. He must have really loved history. It was like as soon as you mentioned something about it, his eyes lit up.
I smiled and nodded my head. "That actually sounds great." I didn't really want to have to go into the Inbetween, but if we carried through with this plan I would have to at some point. I stood up and brushed some dirt off the seat of my pants.
Following Ander, we walked the length of the wall. I ran my fingers across it as I walked. The damp and cold surface felt smooth on my fingertips. Has the way something felt ever brought back a memory to you? I've always seemed to have that happen to me. For some people smells spark memories, sometimes tastes, and sometimes sounds. For me, it was touch. The moist and sticky texture of the rock reminded me of something. It was like it was right in the back of my mind, but I couldn't figure it out. But then a picture flashed through my mind. It was me, standing by a wall and peering around the corner. I was younger, probably about twelve. I looked terrified. Then another picture flashed through my mind. A man lying on the ground. His head was cracked open and a pool of blood was forming around him. My father stood over him.
It was that night. The night my father killed the Inbetweener. It had been raining that night, and the stone of the Inside building felt exactly like this wall.
I gasped and ripped my hand away from the impediment, clutching it to my chest. Ander turned around quickly with a concerned look as he saw my pale face.
"Are you okay?" He stepped closer and placed his hand on my shoulder.
Trying to ignore the clammy feeling that spread across my body, and the butterflies that had erupted in my stomach, I nodded.
"I'm fine. Let's just hurry up, okay? I'd like to see those textbooks."
Ander gave me one more wary glance before starting to walk again. I followed slowly, making sure to not brush against the wall. Especially when we ducked under the entrance. And then I was submerged in the Inbetween once again. It seemed like forever since I'd been there even though it was just last night.
As my eyes scanned the crowds of people one thing that I saw made my breath catch in my throat. On a long stretcher type thing that two men were carrying, three or four bodies were stacked on top. Pieces of clothing and limbs hung limply off the sides, dragging across the ground.
I froze in place and once Ander looked the way I was looking he quickly steppped in front of me, blocking my view with his body. His eyes looked sorrowful, less bright. He must have known those people.
"I'm so sorry, Nyx. I didn't know...I didn't mean for you to see that. We can go back out if you want," he raised his arm to put it on my shoulder again, but I grabbed it and lowered it back down to his side.
"No, I need to look at those books. I'll explain more once we get to your...house," I told him, trailing off at the end because I wasn't sure if I should really call it a house or not.
Ander gave me a questioning glance, taking a little too long to look away, before wrapping his arm around my shoulder so that the side of my body was pressed close to his. I shivered at the contact. It was more of a protective stance, though, so it wasn't too bad.
As we zig-zagged through the crowds of people only a few gave me weird looks. I noticed a few people standing in a circle with tears streaming down their faces. The salty water mixed with the dirt on their face, making their tears a muddy brown. I glanced up at Ander who pressed his lips together and kept his head lowered as if in an attempt to not look their way.
The curious side of me poked through and practically pushed the words out of my mouth. "Did you know the ones on the stretcher?"
Ander turned his head to look at me with the same sad eyes he had when he saw the stretcher. With a shrug of one shoulder he responded, "I know everyone."
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