Prologue

Those of you who have already read Emerald have already read this part before, but I wanted to put it up for ones who haven't read Emerald. This is just explaining the factions and their backgrounds.

 

    For over one hundred years, everyone has been split into three "factions", I guess you could call them. You're either an Insider, an Outsider, or an Inbetweener.

      The Insiders are supposed to be the highest of the factions. The people of the Inside are described as pure, innocent, and chaste. They value everything pure and clean, and reject everything corrupt or sinful. They are mild, friendly, and polite people. They have the most noble jobs such as lawyers, doctors, teachers, and things like that. In the Inside and the Outside all the members have the same hair color and the same eye color. Sizes and shapes vary as with anything else.

 

    Insiders have blonde hair and blue eyes, and they wear all white. White being the purest color they could think of, I suppose. The Inside headquarters is a large, white buliding in the middle of New York City. It is a pristine and immaculate place. Their leader is Dashiell Fein. A seemingly kind and exemplary man.

        The Outsiders are basically just as high as the Insiders. Just for different reasons, really. The Outsiders are the polar opposite of the Insiders. They describe themselves as rebellious, daunting, and brave. They reject compliancy, obedience, and order. They are rambunctious, daring, and sneaky people. They have the more dangerous jobs such as security guards, handling of weapons, firemen, and other things that I find quite needless.

 

    The Outsiders usually dye their hair different weird colors. I've past many green haired, blue haired, and pink haired people. Their eyes are such a dark brown that they almost look black. Most of them have a lot of peircings and tattoos. And they always wear black. The Outside headquarters is an abandoned skyscraper that looms over New York and Inside headquarters like an annoying person that you just can't seem to get rid of. I believe the skyscraper used to be called the Empire State Building in the olden days. Their leader is Zola Pryce. She is a nasty and cruel woman, in my opinion. I guess that's why the Outsiders love her so much.

         Then there are the Inbetweeners. They are the poor, sick, and unemployed. Basically, anyone who doesn't fit into either the Inside or Outside becomes an Inbetweener. They don't have a certain hair or eye color because many different people live there. They do different odd jobs to earn a little bit of money, but it's never enough to get them very far. They live on the side of town that is called the Inbetween. It is a horrible, horrible place. It's filled with rats and other animals, and is disease ridden. The Inbetween should never be someone's reality. It should never be someone's "normal."

      I am an Insider, but don't go drawing conclusions. I am not proud to call myself an Insider. I am not proud of the luxuries I have. I am not proud to be known as the nicest of people. Because it's all a lie. You know how I know? Because my father is Dashiell Fein, the leader of the Inside. And I am the heir to the throne. The "princess" of the Inside, I guess you could say. The officials and my father have fooled everyone so well. They've fooled the members of the Inside, and everyone else.

 

    The Insiders are not wonderful people. They are just as greedy and rotten as the Outsiders, and I hate everyday that I have to live there and pretend I'm just as stupid as everyone else, and pretend that everyone else was from pure and innocent. The Inside is far from pure or innocent.

Reviews

[The Invisible Girl]

What an amazing prologue! Very interested on what happens! :) reading on!

[the Ancient Historian]

Very fascinating. Where did you get your inspiration to right such?

[Lydia]

I read a lot of dystopian novels so I've been wanting to write one for a long time. My biggest inspiration was from Divergent by Veronica Roth. It's an amazing book.

[the Ancient Historian]

I love Divergent but thats' sweet. I truly love the story so far. I'm going to finish what I have left to read during my studyhall tomorrow. Are you hoping to be published one day?

[Lydia]

I don't think so. Writing is more of a hobby. It's something I enjoy, and I think if I had to do it for work, it would become a job instead of something I love to do. Plus, I'm honestly not good enough to be published. I would like a job that had to do with writing, though. Like writing for a fashion magazine or something. Anyways, I'm babbling.

[the Ancient Historian]

lol That's okay. Honestly I dont think I'll ever get published myself. Maybe when I become a historian and write about it. I would love to try and publish at least one but that's cool. Writing is also a hobby in my case too.

[Hester Vane]

Wow, what a fascinating concept! I really like how you've done it in first person too, it reminded me of a cool voice over from that start of a film! I will definatley be reading more! Great Start!

[Lydia]

Thanks so much. Make sure to tell me what you think once you read the rest of the book.

[Tunder]

Very fascinating indeed! The only critique I can give you is to take your time explaining things more. This is written in first person, and there are so many options available to you! Perhaps have your protagonist exploring the Inside headquarters while explaining how her life works. Or walking the streets and seeing the different people with the different hair and explaining how she knows where each one fits in. Don't just give your readers the information. Make them work for it! Build up curiosity as to why the protagonist is living in such a strange place, THEN explain as she goes.
I would have preferred you ease into why she hates the Inside. Be more mysterious and make your reader curious to find out by reading more.
All in all, this is a great start! I love dystopian stories anyways, but a main character held in high regard, like a princess, is really different. Usually, only the ones being wronged by the government can see the corruptness in it. This is a unique concept! Bravo! I cannot wait to read more! :)
I would highly recommend that you read the divergent series! It's a story fairly similar to this!
Keep writing! ~Tunder~

[Tunder]

And thank you for reviewing my poem, by the way! :) Any feedback is much appreciated!
I also forgot to mention that I like the name, "Dashiell Fein"! Very unique and rather futuristic, I must say! :)

[Lydia]

Thanks so much for the input, and I have to admit that I didn't give much thought to the prologue. I wrote this book originally as a short story that I posted on here a couple months ago, and this was just an excerpt from it. I made the prologue mainly to just explain the society so that I didn't have to take up too much in the actual book explaining that. And I have read the Divergent series, and it is my absolute favorite book in the entire world. Please let me know what you think about the rest of the book. Hopefully it's a little more impressive.

[AleyshaRosa]

That was fantastic! I'm not usually into reading something with a lack of dialogue, but you kept me intrigued. 13?!?! Wow, koodoos.

[Brittany DeFranco]

I like it ^_^ I hope it's as interesting as this prologue

[Krista Weiss]

Really good so far! Can't wait to read more!! :)

[Anonymous Girl]

Can't wait to read the rest of the book ^-^

[Aehr]

I have read 'Emerald' before of course, and I'm glad you decided to lengthen it into a book... I will follow this one surely, because Emerald really caught my attention, and I enjoyed it! :)

[Sophie]

I'm intrigued! I love things like this, alternate, crumbling society. Totally my cup of tea. Have you ever read Divergent? If not, you really, really should. its by Veronica Roth, its a similar idea, but different, very different. You know?
Great start! More please :)

[Lydia]

Yes, I've read Divergent and Insurgent and OMG I love them! Aaah! Sorry, I get a little fangirly over those books. Aaah, Tobias....
Lol, sorry.

[Sophie]

Don't worry me too

[Sophie]

DARN IT!
I had a whole schpiel but I put a heart and it cut it off :(

[Lydia]

Darn those destructive hearts!

[Sophie]

lol