I always believed that in life, we suffer because of our actions.. I was always under the impression that in the end, we will have to face the consequences of our actions.. "Our" actions. But today, I heard something that tugged on my heartstrings. My understanding that only "we" decide our fate is completely wrong..
Life is a wicked b***h who likes to play with the innocent..Testing them.. Teasing them.. Playing with them until they break down..
******** All I can do is pray *******
Her past tries to hunt her down..
Her future is a dark alley..
Her present poisons her innocent mind..
And tries to lead her astray..
Lost she is in this cruel world..
Suffering, night and day..
Distrust pervades her wounded heart.
So, all I can do is pray..
Yet, she fights..
Her spirit, refuses to break..
And You stand there, wondering..
How much can she take?.
The Truth stings my heart.. and I cry in dismay..
Whose mistakes were they?..And who stands in fray?
I wish I could help her.. comfort her in some way...
Yet, from here, all I can do is pray..
Too long has she suffered.. too long has her heart bled..
Stumbling, falling... she fights when most of us would have fled...
This is a fine masterpiece. From the opening message, to the picture depicted, to the actual words. The opening message really rendered me speechless and left me wondering.
I really hope this is a certain someone saying this about me. Haha! That is how much I loved it. You managed to strike my sensitive spot, and got me to ride one emotional roller coaster. There is such a pain behind these words that one cannot explain. I am one for depressing poems such as this one. And might I add, I give you credit for the rhyming scheme... oh, how I love them.
"Leave her alone!.. Play with me instead!.." Final blow right there; favorite line as well.
You can call me TheLostMind(TLM or whatever you like :P). There's nothing in a name :P. Thank you Af.. read moreYou can call me TheLostMind(TLM or whatever you like :P). There's nothing in a name :P. Thank you Afraa, for this wonderful review. I am glad you liked it. Actually this poem was meant for someone special. As a symbol of affection. Sometimes you are forced to watch your loved ones suffer. You want to help them but you just can't. All you can do is pray for their well being.. Thanks again :)
9 Years Ago
You're very welcome. It is one the truest pieces I have read in a while.
We all wish we could (and would) do more for those souls who keeping standing through the raging storm.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thanks a lot Denise. I really appreciate it. What if the people who you want to help don't trust yo.. read moreThanks a lot Denise. I really appreciate it. What if the people who you want to help don't trust you? ?
9 Years Ago
You're welcome. That's part of why "we wish we could" help. There are so many reasons why we're left.. read moreYou're welcome. That's part of why "we wish we could" help. There are so many reasons why we're left only able to pray.
9 Years Ago
I guess doing something is better than doing nothing. . :).. Thanks again :)
9 Years Ago
Better to keep praying… keep hoping… keep questing… keep questioning… never stop reaching ou.. read moreBetter to keep praying… keep hoping… keep questing… keep questioning… never stop reaching out!
Such a beautiful, compassionate and moving poem that moved my heart so deeply ... thank you sharing this amazing piece ... :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thanks a lot, Island Woman :).. I really appreciate it.. Certain things in life motivate us to write.. read moreThanks a lot, Island Woman :).. I really appreciate it.. Certain things in life motivate us to write such poems.. I am glad you liked it :)
9 Years Ago
I loved it and you are so very welcome ... look forward to reading more :)
Oh my friend, this is so touching.. The compassion and concern drips from every line with such powerful emotion.. not only is this written well, it has such a depth that tugs on the heartstrings of the readers.. I felt every word.. never heard this song.. fitting.. I liked it.. well done!
((hugs)) you are a true friend..
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thanks for stopping by April.. I really appreciate it..Talked to a friend yesterday...Got too concer.. read moreThanks for stopping by April.. I really appreciate it..Talked to a friend yesterday...Got too concerned.. Got cut out from the conversation :P.. Anyways, This one is dedicated to her.. So, how you been long time no see?..
9 Years Ago
BTW this song is from "How I met your mother"..
9 Years Ago
you're welcome, it was my pleasure. I have heard of the show, but haven't ever watched it.. I don't .. read moreyou're welcome, it was my pleasure. I have heard of the show, but haven't ever watched it.. I don't really watch TV... yes, it has been a while, I am ok thanks, how are you?
9 Years Ago
I am ok. . Thanks for asking. . :). So you liked this poem?
9 Years Ago
Yes, it was very moving and sweet. one of your best I have read to date.
9 Years Ago
was not sure how this would be accepted on writerscafé. .:P..
9 Years Ago
oh, you know me, I write all kinds of things.. and if you feel it, then who cares what everyone else.. read moreoh, you know me, I write all kinds of things.. and if you feel it, then who cares what everyone else thinks.. that is what matters.. yes?
Well. I actually care about what( at least) one other person thinks..
9 Years Ago
I can understand and actually relate, but ultimately we write for ourselves.. just reminding you of .. read moreI can understand and actually relate, but ultimately we write for ourselves.. just reminding you of that fact and to keep it in mind when deciding to share or not:)
What a hearfelt write! I tend to delve heavily in the world on ideas and sometimes I get cold inwardly and I guess outwardly too so when I encounter this type of writing I feel the warmth the desire to embrace. True there is a palpable amount of impotence felt. As the subject seems in the distance and as the narrator confesses all he can do is pray. Not worth to go into the value of prayer but rather to imbue oneself in the valid desire to comfort someone who needs it, to aliviate in any shape or form the difficulties felt by a friend by a close one by another human being.
On a more technical note is interesting how you tried to convey the length of the phrase by letting them resound without a full stop. As if they would then resound even more convincingly.
Lets hope this words may reach her.
Thank you.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 2 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks for this fantastic review Rene. I really appreciate it. You have put a smile on my face. I .. read moreThanks for this fantastic review Rene. I really appreciate it. You have put a smile on my face. I love your reviews because they are honest and insightful. it's as if you feel the emotion of the writer. Thanks again :)
I love reading poems. I will be reviewing your poems / stories as and when I get some time. I like honest reviews, so expect my reviews to be honest. If I have reviewed your poem, I have done it becau.. more..