I always believed that in life, we suffer because of our actions.. I was always under the impression that in the end, we will have to face the consequences of our actions.. "Our" actions. But today, I heard something that tugged on my heartstrings. My understanding that only "we" decide our fate is completely wrong..
Life is a wicked b***h who likes to play with the innocent..Testing them.. Teasing them.. Playing with them until they break down..
******** All I can do is pray *******
Her past tries to hunt her down..
Her future is a dark alley..
Her present poisons her innocent mind..
And tries to lead her astray..
Lost she is in this cruel world..
Suffering, night and day..
Distrust pervades her wounded heart.
So, all I can do is pray..
Yet, she fights..
Her spirit, refuses to break..
And You stand there, wondering..
How much can she take?.
The Truth stings my heart.. and I cry in dismay..
Whose mistakes were they?..And who stands in fray?
I wish I could help her.. comfort her in some way...
Yet, from here, all I can do is pray..
Too long has she suffered.. too long has her heart bled..
Stumbling, falling... she fights when most of us would have fled...
This is a fine masterpiece. From the opening message, to the picture depicted, to the actual words. The opening message really rendered me speechless and left me wondering.
I really hope this is a certain someone saying this about me. Haha! That is how much I loved it. You managed to strike my sensitive spot, and got me to ride one emotional roller coaster. There is such a pain behind these words that one cannot explain. I am one for depressing poems such as this one. And might I add, I give you credit for the rhyming scheme... oh, how I love them.
"Leave her alone!.. Play with me instead!.." Final blow right there; favorite line as well.
You can call me TheLostMind(TLM or whatever you like :P). There's nothing in a name :P. Thank you Af.. read moreYou can call me TheLostMind(TLM or whatever you like :P). There's nothing in a name :P. Thank you Afraa, for this wonderful review. I am glad you liked it. Actually this poem was meant for someone special. As a symbol of affection. Sometimes you are forced to watch your loved ones suffer. You want to help them but you just can't. All you can do is pray for their well being.. Thanks again :)
9 Years Ago
You're very welcome. It is one the truest pieces I have read in a while.
pure heartfelt-thought provoking piece. sometimes the notions that we are the authors of our own destiny is wrong and the saying that we create our demons does not apply. we can spend our lifetime seeking for the reason why our lives are the way they are but i doubt any reasons would be reasonable enough. i like tge ending of this, so full of confidence that you can fight her battles for her but personally i have learned that some battles are too personal to be fought by somebody else.
"sorry for the long review," - Are you kidding me?. I love long reviews. They show that the person h.. read more"sorry for the long review," - Are you kidding me?. I love long reviews. They show that the person here is really interested in your work. Thank you Sonnie for this lovely review.
"but personally i have learned that some battles are too personal to be fought by somebody else. " - I agree but there must be something that could be done about it. How can I watch my loved ones being tormented?
9 Years Ago
i get it, u can fight the battles for them but the demons inside are theirs to chase away. sometimes.. read morei get it, u can fight the battles for them but the demons inside are theirs to chase away. sometimes the only thing u can do is just silently be there. thanks ;)
9 Years Ago
I am not going to sit silently. :P.. Thanks again :)
I love your wonderful rhyme scheme making the lines flow so easily for the reader. With that said, the compassion you show is heartfelt. Your words are powerful and honest, filled with emotion. The last line, my favorite, gave me goosebumps! Great writing and a great message.
:) Julie
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you Julie, for your kind words. I really appreciate it. I am glad that a talented writer like .. read moreThank you Julie, for your kind words. I really appreciate it. I am glad that a talented writer like yourself loved it. Thanks again :)
This is a fine masterpiece. From the opening message, to the picture depicted, to the actual words. The opening message really rendered me speechless and left me wondering.
I really hope this is a certain someone saying this about me. Haha! That is how much I loved it. You managed to strike my sensitive spot, and got me to ride one emotional roller coaster. There is such a pain behind these words that one cannot explain. I am one for depressing poems such as this one. And might I add, I give you credit for the rhyming scheme... oh, how I love them.
"Leave her alone!.. Play with me instead!.." Final blow right there; favorite line as well.
You can call me TheLostMind(TLM or whatever you like :P). There's nothing in a name :P. Thank you Af.. read moreYou can call me TheLostMind(TLM or whatever you like :P). There's nothing in a name :P. Thank you Afraa, for this wonderful review. I am glad you liked it. Actually this poem was meant for someone special. As a symbol of affection. Sometimes you are forced to watch your loved ones suffer. You want to help them but you just can't. All you can do is pray for their well being.. Thanks again :)
9 Years Ago
You're very welcome. It is one the truest pieces I have read in a while.
A strong and thought provoking piece. I admire your courage to stand for those that cannot do it for themselves. This is but a fallen world which needs a lot more people like you. Thank you for being who you are.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank You ma'am. If we don't fight for the ones we love, who should we fight for?. :)
Honestly, I always thought whatever happens is for the best, it is destiny, it is fate. Before I grew older. But sometimes I wonder how life can be so cruel to some, especially if they've been wonderful people but the way life tests them, not even their enemies deserve that much suffering. And I hate to think of karma as well, one must have done something very bad in their past life to be suffering so in this new life. I wish people did not need to suffer so much, but live a life of happiness and peace and normal cycle of life. However, would one truly appreciate life if one does not go through hard experiences? I can speak for myself that hardships really do make me re-evaluate my life, my values, my life choices. And every little moment of happiness is a peak experience for me.
This is a very wonderful poem. You have approached a theme that is timeless and universal. Whoever may be suffering. It makes us question how far can one bend before they break. How far can God watch over before He says it's enough for today. How can a good person suffer while a bad one is enjoying all the life's pleasures. But is the bad person even happy, even in ignorant bliss.
I truly love the last line:
"Leave her alone!.. Play with me instead!!.."
How you voluntarily and willingly sacrifice yourself in order for the person to get some rest from Samsara.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
I can't thank you enough for this wonderful review Nadia. I can't stand and watch good people being .. read moreI can't thank you enough for this wonderful review Nadia. I can't stand and watch good people being hurt for the mistakes they never committed. Especially when you know that they deserve better.
"would one truly appreciate life if one does not go through hard experiences? " - I agree, but "how much" does a person has to suffer until He realizes its "too much"?
I love reading poems. I will be reviewing your poems / stories as and when I get some time. I like honest reviews, so expect my reviews to be honest. If I have reviewed your poem, I have done it becau.. more..