I always believed that in life, we suffer because of our actions.. I was always under the impression that in the end, we will have to face the consequences of our actions.. "Our" actions. But today, I heard something that tugged on my heartstrings. My understanding that only "we" decide our fate is completely wrong..
Life is a wicked b***h who likes to play with the innocent..Testing them.. Teasing them.. Playing with them until they break down..
******** All I can do is pray *******
Her past tries to hunt her down..
Her future is a dark alley..
Her present poisons her innocent mind..
And tries to lead her astray..
Lost she is in this cruel world..
Suffering, night and day..
Distrust pervades her wounded heart.
So, all I can do is pray..
Yet, she fights..
Her spirit, refuses to break..
And You stand there, wondering..
How much can she take?.
The Truth stings my heart.. and I cry in dismay..
Whose mistakes were they?..And who stands in fray?
I wish I could help her.. comfort her in some way...
Yet, from here, all I can do is pray..
Too long has she suffered.. too long has her heart bled..
Stumbling, falling... she fights when most of us would have fled...
This is a fine masterpiece. From the opening message, to the picture depicted, to the actual words. The opening message really rendered me speechless and left me wondering.
I really hope this is a certain someone saying this about me. Haha! That is how much I loved it. You managed to strike my sensitive spot, and got me to ride one emotional roller coaster. There is such a pain behind these words that one cannot explain. I am one for depressing poems such as this one. And might I add, I give you credit for the rhyming scheme... oh, how I love them.
"Leave her alone!.. Play with me instead!.." Final blow right there; favorite line as well.
You can call me TheLostMind(TLM or whatever you like :P). There's nothing in a name :P. Thank you Af.. read moreYou can call me TheLostMind(TLM or whatever you like :P). There's nothing in a name :P. Thank you Afraa, for this wonderful review. I am glad you liked it. Actually this poem was meant for someone special. As a symbol of affection. Sometimes you are forced to watch your loved ones suffer. You want to help them but you just can't. All you can do is pray for their well being.. Thanks again :)
9 Years Ago
You're very welcome. It is one the truest pieces I have read in a while.
Truest message! It hurts, every single time, when someone judges and plasters a tag without realising the consequences. You not only showed her pain, reason and struggle but also a silent plead for otherwise which is amazing TLM :)
I judge
I get judged
only when I stop
I get hurt
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank You Sindu. You have captured the essence of my poem - "I judge
I get judged
only.. read moreThank You Sindu. You have captured the essence of my poem - "I judge
I get judged
only when I stop
I get hurt" .
People have the right to judge. They are here to judge. We can't let our loved ones suffer because we don't want to be judged. Thanks again :)
It's so hard to see someone you love going through a tough time and in pain. I've definitely been in that situation where I wished I could take someone's pain away and put it on myself. Sadly that isn't hoe things work and all we can do is offer a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear.
Great piece hun!
Thank you GEP :). Sometimes you can't even offer them a shoulder. . Or a listening ear.. sometimes .. read moreThank you GEP :). Sometimes you can't even offer them a shoulder. . Or a listening ear.. sometimes all you can do, is sit and pray as you watch them being tortured by life. Thanks again :)
9 Years Ago
True, and that's really when it sucks. Least for me anyways, I'm very empathetic.
And you're .. read moreTrue, and that's really when it sucks. Least for me anyways, I'm very empathetic.
And you're welcome. :)
9 Years Ago
Not just for you. That hurts all the people who really care ..
I love the sentiment here. It's horrible watching people suffer, especially ones you care about. And you look at yourself and you think, "I can take it. I'm strong. Throw some of it my way." But then, that's why you don't get it. Because you can take it. So you repel negative energy away from you.
The poem is well written, I don't know if you were aiming for a pattern of some sort but there wasn't a consistent one throughout the poem (which isn't a dealbreaker, obviously)
This touched my heart. Its a lot of pain to feel the hurt...its lot of pain to see someone hurt as well! Your words flowed beautifully! thank you so much for sharing.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you aish. Your words are much appreciated :)
It's a terrible feeling when you know someone is struggling mightily and you want to take it all away for them but you realize you can't. It's their own inner struggle that ultimately they can only conquer themselves. However, you can offer them unending support and compassion. Lay yourself bare with them and after a time they will do the same. This is heartfelt and something I can definitely relate to in more ways than one.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you Christopher for your kind words :). Yes, all we can do is offer our unending support :)
Great piece TLM ;) This feeling that you have so beautifully evinced in this piece is something we all have to face while judging life. what has the new born done to face this world without parents? what has the loving mother done to lose out on jobs she can get but is despised for her gender? unsolicited and inconsequential tragedies exists at all points in the world, it doesnt make sense to us and probably never will. All we can do is play our part and maybe play a small one in alleviating their burden.
A very thought provoking piece! Cheers! :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you Roshan for this awesome review. You are right, in life all we have to do is play our part,.. read moreThank you Roshan for this awesome review. You are right, in life all we have to do is play our part, give our love to the ones we care for and then pack our bags. :)
Good song and very good words. I agree. Every action good or bad. We are responsible for every action we do. Better to lead with concern, kindness and love. I believe we will know peace at the ending. Thank you for the good music and outstanding and positive poetry.
Coyote
I love reading poems. I will be reviewing your poems / stories as and when I get some time. I like honest reviews, so expect my reviews to be honest. If I have reviewed your poem, I have done it becau.. more..