I always believed that in life, we suffer because of our actions.. I was always under the impression that in the end, we will have to face the consequences of our actions.. "Our" actions. But today, I heard something that tugged on my heartstrings. My understanding that only "we" decide our fate is completely wrong..
Life is a wicked b***h who likes to play with the innocent..Testing them.. Teasing them.. Playing with them until they break down..
******** All I can do is pray *******
Her past tries to hunt her down..
Her future is a dark alley..
Her present poisons her innocent mind..
And tries to lead her astray..
Lost she is in this cruel world..
Suffering, night and day..
Distrust pervades her wounded heart.
So, all I can do is pray..
Yet, she fights..
Her spirit, refuses to break..
And You stand there, wondering..
How much can she take?.
The Truth stings my heart.. and I cry in dismay..
Whose mistakes were they?..And who stands in fray?
I wish I could help her.. comfort her in some way...
Yet, from here, all I can do is pray..
Too long has she suffered.. too long has her heart bled..
Stumbling, falling... she fights when most of us would have fled...
This is a fine masterpiece. From the opening message, to the picture depicted, to the actual words. The opening message really rendered me speechless and left me wondering.
I really hope this is a certain someone saying this about me. Haha! That is how much I loved it. You managed to strike my sensitive spot, and got me to ride one emotional roller coaster. There is such a pain behind these words that one cannot explain. I am one for depressing poems such as this one. And might I add, I give you credit for the rhyming scheme... oh, how I love them.
"Leave her alone!.. Play with me instead!.." Final blow right there; favorite line as well.
You can call me TheLostMind(TLM or whatever you like :P). There's nothing in a name :P. Thank you Af.. read moreYou can call me TheLostMind(TLM or whatever you like :P). There's nothing in a name :P. Thank you Afraa, for this wonderful review. I am glad you liked it. Actually this poem was meant for someone special. As a symbol of affection. Sometimes you are forced to watch your loved ones suffer. You want to help them but you just can't. All you can do is pray for their well being.. Thanks again :)
9 Years Ago
You're very welcome. It is one the truest pieces I have read in a while.
If they were her mistakes. find a counselor for her, if she is just afraid she will be making a mistake. Tell her welcome to the world in 2015. Valentine
I love this poem of yours. When you truly love someone, it's like you want to claim even his sufferings. Yet, what we do is pray when we can't even tap their back to show them our care. Believe that prayer is powerful.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you Dhaye. I appreciate your kind and honest review. When we can do nothing for someone, we ca.. read moreThank you Dhaye. I appreciate your kind and honest review. When we can do nothing for someone, we can close our eyes and pray :P
This piece assures me that somewhere in the world, is pure humanity. A message of hope and love. Truly inspired me to have a different outlook on life. A new percpective I have gained, to you I am greatful.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you nenakris for this lovely review. Be the change you want to see in this world. shower love.. read moreThank you nenakris for this lovely review. Be the change you want to see in this world. shower love on the people around you and they will do the same for you. I am glad you liked this one :)
9 Years Ago
Thank you for sharing, its a life changing piece. I intend to take on your advice.
This truly played with my heartstrings as well. So beautiful. I loved it! I agree with all the other reviews, well written. I felt the emotions. Truly inspiring and touching.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thanks a lot :). I am glad you liked it. Means a lot :P..
Dear lost mind... please don't be lost behold...
what you wrote is so genuine and eloquent.. beautiful, amazing well written
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
deep inside, aren't we all lost ma'am? .. Thank you for this wonderful review. . Your words are muc.. read moredeep inside, aren't we all lost ma'am? .. Thank you for this wonderful review. . Your words are much appreciated :)
9 Years Ago
Depends on what you call being lost..Future is lost to everybody but what actually matters is the pu.. read moreDepends on what you call being lost..Future is lost to everybody but what actually matters is the purpose.. if you know that more or less the problem is solved
9 Years Ago
"What actually matters is the purpose"? . Don't you think the end result also matters.. sometimes?read more"What actually matters is the purpose"? . Don't you think the end result also matters.. sometimes?
9 Years Ago
the end result matters as long as you do not hurt anyone else...
Failures as end results are.. read morethe end result matters as long as you do not hurt anyone else...
Failures as end results are a part of life....
what does end result means to u??
9 Years Ago
What if you are not allowed to write the exam ma'am?.
9 Years Ago
your profile picture says hope.. your pen name is lost mind.. and such a depressing question...( hop.. read moreyour profile picture says hope.. your pen name is lost mind.. and such a depressing question...( hope u dont mind me writing that)
well I never thought of it that way.. writing an exam is personal choice for me rather than something done at other people's will
9 Years Ago
No. I don't mind.. :P... Well, What if you want to write the exam but can't? . How is this a persona.. read moreNo. I don't mind.. :P... Well, What if you want to write the exam but can't? . How is this a personal choice?
9 Years Ago
ouch.. well that would hurt but life is all about moving on.. there would be a lot more opportunitie.. read moreouch.. well that would hurt but life is all about moving on.. there would be a lot more opportunities for you
9 Years Ago
Opportunities matter only for replaceable things :P
9 Years Ago
looks like we started a debate :p
life is all about perception
9 Years Ago
Was just pulling your leg.. Its fun to talk about such things :P
What an incredible intercession - and written so carefully and sensitively. To express thoughts about life and how it thunders.. then to empathise and defend that single person is a double gift to the searching grey spirit. Oh gosh, that reads over the top but is meant - truly.
' So, here I stand, seeking justice in her stead. -- Leave her alone!.. Play with me instead!!..'
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you Emma. I am glad you liked it. :). Sometimes life forces us to write such poems.. Your kin.. read moreThank you Emma. I am glad you liked it. :). Sometimes life forces us to write such poems.. Your kind words are much appreciated :)
I love reading poems. I will be reviewing your poems / stories as and when I get some time. I like honest reviews, so expect my reviews to be honest. If I have reviewed your poem, I have done it becau.. more..