Life Is Never Fair

Walking to the funeral of a person you loved...

I walk along that crowded lane.

Wondering how long I'll feel the pain.

My broken heart keeps banging against my chest.

Is it time for it to rest??.

Even though I try to leave them behind...

Those memories of her still haunt my mind...

Pale and motionless,she stings my eyes....

She drives me insane, she makes me realize..

Life is never fair, my friend...

Coz all good things are destined to end.....

I thought that she was the one for me...

God wasn't fair in setting her free...

The void left by her can never be filled...

The funeral was hers', but it was my soul that was killed...

Now, against my weak heart I fight...

Wondering what's wrong and what's right...

Your consoling words won't suffice..

They inebriate my brain, they make me realize..

Life is never fair my friend...

Coz all good things are destined to end...

I think of her night and day...

Wondering why God took her away ..

I try to keep my spirit alive...

Its been ripped, left to die...

I feel her pain, I hear her cries..

Shattered, broken, slowly I realize..

Life is always fair, my friend...

Like all broken things, even this will mend..

Author's Note

Replaced - "Like all ruined things, even this life will end.... " with "Like all broken things, even this will mend..".. There is always hope :) ..

Reviews

[Neesir]

I feel very heavy after reading this piece ...Love is something that can never fade..it grows deeper and deeper with every passing day ..Love lets you live ..but sometimes it just lets you live without life ..

I walk along that crowded lane.
Wondering how long I'll feel the pain. (Indeed in a crowded lane..you find yourself even more lonely with the pain insane ..)

Well written but as said leaves the reader's heart ripped apart ..

[TheLostMind]

Thanks :).. Yes, "true" love is something that can never fade...
"Love is something that can never fade..it grows deeper and deeper with every passing day ..Love lets you live ..but sometimes it just lets you live without life .."
I loved your review.. Thanks again.. :)

[Laura Lynn]

That is sad you lost someone. It's amazing how powerful a person's image can be, sometimes people try to guide us away from our homage which we also need in order to grasp, grasp at, appreciate, love and give credence to all that there is out there and all we must do and mull over and plough over, hoeing, seeding, planting. There is much in the grains of truth and sand. I wish to God to see some people again and I have to take all the time to wonder why and what to do about it, or not, how to use it for my life at present and etc.

[TheLostMind]

Thanks for this wonderful review,Laura. :)

[MsJewel]

I can feel the emotion in your words, which is quite touching. Unfortunately, I have walked that "crowded lane" and it's a heart wrenching walk. Although there are a few spots where your meter is questionable, your rhymes aren't forced, they flow naturally. Breaking up the verses into two lines helps the flow quite a bit. A good poem and an enjoyable read.

:) Julie

[TheLostMind]

Thanks for the review, Julie. I really appreciate it. As far as meter is concerned, I will try to do better next time around..:)

[R Smith]

Take it from an old guy, I walked that road a lot of times and yeah your right those broken heart times will mend eventually but one or two will leave a lingering whisper and a sigh of memory, it happens but it won't stop you moving on, a great poem my friend, i like every part of it and putting it my library, thank you :)

[TheLostMind]

Thanks a lot sir ... :)

[R Smith]

you are very welcome :)

[Geo Lawrence]

try out the free verse type of poetry next Time. rhymes in poems usually curtail freedom of expression. But you are good buddy. excellent job.

[TheLostMind]

Thanks :)..

[AprilRN1210]

I admit, I read the other reviewer's comments and agree with the overall sentiments about rhyming and meter, having said that... I didn't even realize that this one rhymed.. I was lost in the emotion.. in the meaning... in the moment..

"Your consoling words won't suffice..
They inebriate my brain, they make me realize.."... these are the ones that hit me, and made me think... very creative, expressive way of putting it..

I like how you made it feel less heavy with the ending.. hope is the one thing I never want to lose.. well done.. :)

[TheLostMind]

Thanks ma'am :).. Glad you liked it.. Yes, hope keeps us alive.. Some people pin their hopes on April, I am pinning them on July. :) Always a pleasure to see you..

[Angad Waraich]

Well another good piece but like last time i would suggest you to do something without rhymes because rhymes restrict vocabulary and you can take you writing to a whole new level of depth and complexity because you are talented.

Otherwise a well done piece.

Thank you for sharing.
Angad

[TheLostMind]

Thanks Angad.. I will definitely keep your words in mind the next time around.. :)

[MomzillaNC]

Very sad words. Even though it ends looking forward, it still leaves the reader feeling bereft.

NOTES: Rhyme and strict meter aren't required to create well written poetry (balance is necessary, though); when you do rhyme, meter matters.

[TheLostMind]

I agree.. Rhyme and strict meter aren't required to create well written poetry.. Will keep that in mind.. :).. Thanks.. :)

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome. Hope it was helpful.