Well, who says life gives us a choice ?. Each door it opens for those in need, is closed because of our greed.
There she stands by the school gate... Wondering whether she would ever make it in... From here it all seems so great... Is being poor that big a sin?
She stares at those toddlers as they pass… Struggling and scrambling to miss the class.. She craves for those books, she craves for those bags.. But who would care for a little girl, in filthy old rags? …
Even she had dreams, as colourful as ever.. But now they are shattered, lost forever.. Yet, she stands by that big black gate.. Hoping somehow, something could change her fate…
Will she ever enter that gate? .. Into the world unseen! ... The school bell reminds her - she's late… There are houses she must clean…
Picking those crutches from her side.. Along the street she limps… Suddenly, she stops in her stride… And turns, for one last glimpse…
Blind are we to the mistakes of our own… Living for ourselves is how we have grown… Blind are we to the sufferings of others! ! Isn't greed making us slaughter our own sisters and brothers?
This is a true and touching story. From beginning, middle and end, the poem grabs one's attention, feeling pity for this poor girl.
Unfortunately this is more common than people realise.
This one is such a heart wrenching piece.. right from the beginning the message was so evident -- loud and clear and I am a big fan of such works that have a message for the society and ask us to question the norms we follow.. Probably one of the best ones I have read on this site.. Great job
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank You Nazia for this lovely review. I am really honored by your words :). Yes, sometimes the soc.. read moreThank You Nazia for this lovely review. I am really honored by your words :). Yes, sometimes the society as a whole is responsible for such things. I am glad you liked it :)
9 Years Ago
My pleasure Dear.. (I wish I knew your name.. I don't wanna call you lost mind:))
I have a challenge for you...this piece is good just like the others and it makes me feel for the girl in question, but I noticed that most of the time you don't keep a consistent rhyme scheme. Do you have any pieces that have one? [1 and 3, and 2 and 4] rhyme, OR [1 and 2, and 3 and 4] rhyme scheme throughout the entire poem instead of combining the techniques? I don't mean to say that not sticking to a specific scheme is bad, all of your work is fantastic so far, I'm just curious what you can do with a strict rhyme scheme :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you for reviewing this piece RiverRei. I really appreciate it.:).. I don't try really hard to .. read moreThank you for reviewing this piece RiverRei. I really appreciate it.:).. I don't try really hard to stick to a rhyme scheme. In fact, I write poems only as a last option that is when I can't keep the emotions inside me anymore. Yes, I do have a poem called "Lost" which adheres to a (well) decent rhyming scheme.. :P
Absolutely true, so many go without and greed playing a huge part, it is
sad and frustrating, I pray for these under privileged everyday, this is a powerful
piece of work, great write, thanks for sharing!
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you, James. Your kind words are much appreciated :)
It is so unfair when others have to pay the price for their loved one's misfortunes, the life they have never chosen, the life they can probably never change. I am sorry you have to see that everyday. And yet, it is good that you recount such tragic tales. The world must known what goes on outside of its own ignorant and content bubble.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
People will turn a blind eye on the sufferings of the poor ma'am. We are all selfish. Thank you for.. read morePeople will turn a blind eye on the sufferings of the poor ma'am. We are all selfish. Thank you for this review Nida. :)
I agree.
"Blind are we to the mistakes of our own…
Living for ourselves is how we have grown…
Blind are we to the sufferings of others! !
Isn't greed making us slaughter our own sisters and brothers? "
Many don't want to see or know. Better to close their eyes and mind to the suffering near. I liked the story in the poem and the wisdom to be learn and understood. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
I agree. rich people just ignore the poor. They turn a blind eye on the sufferings of the poor. How.. read moreI agree. rich people just ignore the poor. They turn a blind eye on the sufferings of the poor. How are the poor responsible for their state? . The rich have to give something back to the society. Thanks a lot. . :)
9 Years Ago
Someday? Rich folks keep their distance from the suffering.
I love reading poems. I will be reviewing your poems / stories as and when I get some time. I like honest reviews, so expect my reviews to be honest. If I have reviewed your poem, I have done it becau.. more..