Lost

Sometimes, when I am alone, I write such poems :)

I hear its cry, I hear its wail..

I feel my heart, weak and frail...

I see those tears, as they fall..

Clutching my chest, I feel it all...

How I wish, she hadn't left me alone..

Pushing me into an abyss, I had never ever known..

I try to erase, those memories of the past..

Their time has come, everything's lost..

Sometimes she sneaks, into my dreams..

So cheerful and pleasant, there she seems..

Only if she promised, to leave me never..

I could lie on my bed, dreaming forever..

In memories of her, I've drowned my mind..

I find it hard, to leave the past behind..

Thus go my days, so do the nights..

Everything seems so dark, even with the lights..

As helplessness befalls my addled brain..

I close my eyes, writhing in pain..

Amidst those tears, I force a smile..

She was friend, I loved to rile...

But what's done is done, what's lost is lost..

The wound will heal, but the scars will last...

In despair and agony, I write this song..

Still wondering where, it all went wrong..

Reviews

[Ishita Dixit]

I used to wonder too.
But the guy was a douchebag. I stopped being hard on myself.
I used to listen to this song by The Fray called Where Did I Go Wrong?
Wounds heal but the scars remain. Agreed.
But guess what? When you come across new and better people, they will act as your anti-scar cream!
My scars are going,going,gone...
Anyway....fabulous poem!
Nicely done.

[TheLostMind]

Thanks Ishita for your kind words. Never heard of an "anti-scar" cream. :P

[Ishita Dixit]

Google Mederma and Nomarks then!

[TheLostMind]

Sometimes you just want "certain" scars to stay.. Just as a remainder of some people :P. So, no. Thank you.

[Ishita Dixit]

To each his own!

[TheLostMind]

To each his / her own! :)

[Rene Salinas]

This reminds me of Aethereal. He would spend countless hours I assume trying to find the word which would fit the perfect rhythm the perfect beat. I find it very difficult and tiresome to do so I certainly keep away from that impulse. The writing here is again so intimate and the purity of feeling is strong but the rhyme of format are so predisposed that in the words where it doesn't perfectly fit, I found myself going back and making them fit, chaning intonation and speed. But the thoughts of the relationship gone a little sour prevail.

Thankyou

[TheLostMind]

Thanks Rene, for your honest review :). Yes, in some places the rhymes seem forced. I am trying to improve.

[Bright Ocean Star]

I love the rhyming couplets. They are seamless and timeless. Awesome job!!!

[TheLostMind]

Thanks.. :)

[AprilRN1210]

I am torn on this one my friend... you do the meter and rhyme so strong on some lines and others I stumble a bit... one thing that didn't waver throughout though was the emotion... it was palpable, real, and strong... I can feel the pain, the regret, the longing, the despair... the depth of reflection in this one is pretty dang affecting... the first two lines and the last two are my absolute favorite.. for those alone, this is one of my favorites...

[TheLostMind]

Thanks April. I feel this is my best poem so far. Wrote this when I was very sad (a couple of years back actually). When things don't go our way, we start cursing our fate only to realise (later) - all that happens, happens for good. :)

[AprilRN1210]

You're welcome... Not sure about happens for good but lessons can definitely be learned and new opportunities opened...

[TheLostMind]

If there are lessons to be learned, that means we were wrong about something / someone. So, whatever happened, happened for good. :P

[AprilRN1210]

Ahhhh ok smarty pants... When you say it that way, I am, of course, inclined to agree :P

[TheLostMind]

Ow wow. Did I just win an argument with a woman?. Suddenly my life has become more meaningful :P

[AprilRN1210]

I would suggest you write it down:P

[TheLostMind]

Well that baby is going on my resume :P.

[AprilRN1210]

Quite the accomplishment to be sure:)

[TheLostMind]

Indeed it is :).

[AprilRN1210]

careful, it is all downhill from here.. :P

[мalғy]

But what's done is done, what's lost is lost..
The wound will heal, but the scars will last...

^ I really loved this line, it goes along the lines of you can forgive but never forget, but I love the way you worded it, a more flow easy lines, and I just want to say I really enjoyed reading your poem and look forward to reading more!

You have a talent and put it into good use!

[TheLostMind]

Thanks.. Feels good to be appreciated :P. Will keep posting..

[...]

it s sound very strong and very deep wound. words are very truly and you give to people read strong message .

[TheLostMind]

Thanks :)..

[...]

you very wellcome .