Chapter Five

“Jess! Where have you been?” Mum stood in the doorway, having opened the door before my key had even slipped inside the lock. “I missed the first trip, it's no biggie.” I tried walking past her but she blocked my way. “Honey...” I stopped. “They're here.” A lump started to grow in my throat. Mum moved out of the way but I stood still, before taking slow steps forward. I could hear voices coming from the living room. “Ah! Jessica! I can't believe it's been this long.” My father was sitting on the leather recliner, sipping a steamy cup of coffee. An ash tray sat on the coffee table, already surrounded by a few cigarettes. I took another look at my father. His teeth were yellow, his lips dry. His face looked as if he hadn't shaved in days and his hair was greasy. I looked around for his daughter, and sure enough Heather sat on the old couch. She was plump, her short brown hair sticking out from her fat face. She was definitely taller than me, even if a year younger. Then I looked at Mum. She seemed almost afraid of their presence, her fingers trembling a little. “Come on, give ya daddy a hug!” He stood up, his checkered shirt half unbuttoned, his jeans ripped and old. He stood with his arms out, as if hugging a ghost. “You're not my 'daddy'...” I whispered under my breath, but he stepped forward and hugged me anyway. He smelled of whiskey and smoke. “I have homework,” I lied, stepping out of the room. “But honey you haven't been able to catch up with Howard,” she said, looking at me in worry. “When did you start calling him 'Howard'?” I replied angrily, before storming up to my room. I slammed the door behind me, dropping my bag on the bed. Bzzzt, bzzzt. My phone vibrated in my pocket. I looked at the caller ID. Kelsey's name was flashing on the screen, but instead of picking up I denied the call. What did Kelsey want now? Whatever it was I didn't care. I stood at the foot of my bed, leaning back until I hit it with a satisfying 'plop'.

The next morning was probably the worst Saturday morning ever. “Jess, we're going to the park for some fresh air. You wanna come?” Mum was standing at my doorway, willing me to get up. “No.” I said blankly. She sighed and sat on the bed. “Look, maybe this is good. It's a chance to get to know your father better, you haven't seen him since he left.” I rolled my eyes as I rearranged my pillow. “Exactly. He left. Why should I give him a second chance?” Aged seven, on my birthday of all days, I came bouncing home from school to find my mother on the couch, crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she just continued to sob. Later I found that my dad had left, leaving only a note explaining the divorce details. "I know how you feel, Jess, but just give it a try. For me, Jess." She looked at me with those dark brown eyes I had inherited, and I sighed but got up and out of bed. Downstairs, Heather was already sitting at the table, gobbling down her breakfast. "I'm not hungry," I said when I sat down faced with bacon and eggs. "You used to love my cooking when you were little," My dad sat at the other end of the table, grinning at me. I stared blankly at the food and pushed it away. Now I really wasn't hungry. "Ready?" Mum motioned for us to go. We set off outside into the blistering cold weather. The dark clouds from yesterday had returned and were angrily growling at us. "Look Jessica, don't ya love the stuff around here?" Dad pointed out all the apparently 'interesting' spots on our town map. I had visited most of them before, but Mum was persistent to see them again. "They have everything! Tool wharehouse, vineyard, I remember the old cemetary..." Dad paused for a moment before changing the subject. Backridge Royal Cemetary was where my brother was buried. He was born seven years before me. My brother's name was James. He took care of me, I nicknamed him Super J, the Best Big Brother Ever. After I was born he never stopped caring for me, he always asked if he could hold me and feed me. I remember the morning of my seventh birthday. I got up and was welcomed with a double chocolate cupcake with a candle. We had planned to go out for dinner that night, but after I arrived home our plans were quickly changed. James didn't cry like I did. He just sat, a weary look in his eye. Later that night I heard a loud crash. I can only remember it faintly; my tears blocked my vision. He had stolen the car and rammed it straight into our neighbour's house. He was taken to the hospital but it was too late. Tears sprung at the back of my eyes as the memories flooded my head. "Honey are you OK?" Mum looked at me, unsure of what to do. "I want to visit him," I whispered. "Alone."