SAND CASTLE

We have taken a different roads ...

Sand Castle

I wander through these great divide

Where the sea meets the shore

Barefoot I walk these shifting sand

'Till my footprints can't follow no more

Turquoise waves break their curling hold

White surf blaze like stallion's mane 

Thundering gallops they race to pour 

Their saline water to my blistered sole

I hear the seagulls retreat at this hour

To a distant cliff where they bore their young

In flight they make their exuberant call

While  the sleepy sun takes its final yawn

I see ancient ruins lying in the sand

Each built by human hands

Its walls breached by rising tide

Eroded by passing time

Walking along these nautical gaps

My heart lost what it could no longer earn

My ship drifts farther from your shore

'Till it reach the point of no return

For gusty wind has blown every grain

Receding waves carried every particle away  

Deformed all traces that once was you ...

by NeiL ArandA  07/03/2015

Author's Note

Sometimes love is like a sand castle. You are aware that in the end it will be gone, but you enjoyed building it anyway ...

Thoughts and words inspired by Eva Rosehill

Reviews

[Belle]

" I see ancient ruins lying in the sand "

My poetic pen can live for that line alone...that is a home for me, Niel...just want to tell...
Everything from the past, just like our mountains and trees and rivers today, becomes so fragile in the hands of the "boundless progress".

[NeiL ArandA]

Thank you for the read Ms Belle. Sorry for the late reply to your thoughtful review.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

I like how this poem was expressed. It's emotional and touching and surely touches the heart of readers like me.

The last verse is superb. Though "grains" and "particles" need to be "grain" and "particle" only, the ending is still great. Keep moving.

[NeiL ArandA]

Thank Dhaye for noticing that. I edited it. I have always wanted to write a poem about nature or Autumn and Beach or Sunset. This piece shows that I fell short and could not really do it. I'm really disappointed with myself with this poem but I tried to salvage it by changing the ending and the thought of the piece. Thanks for dropping by and checking my piece. Its always a pleasure to hear your take and thought.

[Melinda McQueen]

This is great. I love the imagery. Every word seemed to compliment the next.
One of my favorites.

[NeiL ArandA]

Thanks a lot Melinda for reading this piece. I have not fully settled with this piece yet. So I edited and added some more lines to it. I appreciate your thoughts and time...

[gabrielle]

Great images you painted in this piece. After our daily adventures and misadventures, most of us longs to go back to the comforts of home. But some may prefer wander until they could no longer find their way back..not quite sure what you want to convey but this is how your piece spoke to me. :)

[NeiL ArandA]

I like where your thoughts is leading you as you read and relate to this piece. I grew up near the beach and I always prefer to sleep near the shore in a make shift shack where I could hear the splashing of the wave in the company of my pet dog . The muse here Gab is dreaming and thinking of a mystical place or " Utopia " ... I should have titled the poem with that word but the piece led me to a different ending. Thanks Gab always for your thoughtful thoughts. I saw your footprints trailing behind mine just before the waves wash it away. So I return ... :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

lovely setting....poem matches so nicely with the picture...poem needs a bit of editing, but a really "enchanting" piece of work...

that "final yawn" of the sun...nice image there.

[NeiL ArandA]

Trying something new Jacob. Thank you my friend for reading this and always leaving your thoughts and footprints.