Cynical Courage

when your hope is false, where do you turn?

And I see another photograph of what I once had.

The pretty skin and the smile I crave so bad.

Sometimes I feel as if I should try again,

But something warns me to never be concrescent.

 

            I'm still trying to love my leaving you.

            I'm still killing myself just to get through.

Can you feel my heart break?

My hand can snap in two.

Just like my breath,

I should stay without you.

 

My skin crawls as I lie with you in bed.

The pretty skin and your sick voice are in my head.

A crushing grip on me, you certainly have my heart.

I watch your sharp teeth, black eyes, and claws tear it apart.

           

            But I'm still trying to love my leaving you.

            I'm killing myself just to get through.

 

And I laugh myself to sleep,

Choking on insanity.

I will try,

But I feel as I-

Need you!

I want you!

 

(Kill the desire,

Smother the fire,

God she had taken a hold on me.

She is my reality.

I am hopeless and choking.)