I Should Not Be Happy

I Should Not Be Happy

 

 

You taught me how to smile

All I wanted was to choke

I once cried in the arms of another

And then I was shamed for it.

 

I used to want to be the happiest

I’m now the one to make everyone’s day

I guess this is why women are complicated

But I miss being able to cry…

 

I suppose it is better than

Back when I couldn’t even feel

But sometimes all this laughter is sickening

Especially knowing that it’s finally genuine

 

Why does an artist have to be born crazy?

Do we ever get to win?

I feel the one who cries more wins the race

And midway my engine’s stopped

 

I suppose I could go back to writing about my beliefs

But I have fear of falling, I have fear of faith

I fear having some meaning in life

 

Perhaps I should just enjoy the sun rays

Maybe I’m just not used to having a lightweight soul

I just can’t shake the feeling off that something is wrong…

Reviews

[Mark]

I've read a little bit about the brain and how it works. Many researchers are finding that much of what we see as emotions are not something coming from our 'self', in fact 'self' is actually an illusion we maintain, but often out of place emotions are chemical imbalances.

Personally, I cling to the belief I am in control even if the 'I' I think of is simply a conglomerate consensus of the various parts of my brain.

I search for BALANCE, and discovered that ,for me anyway, it lies in the direction of the awareness of the enormity of the Universe and how my spark in it may not be so important as to be something to anguish over. Thank you for sparking my thoughts with your wonderful work here.

[Blue Ivory]

This is actually pretty helpful! Thank you for the insight :)

[TheKratiMittal]

Now,this is what comes straight from the heart.
I can understand what you feel.
To put it down in words and that too, in such a wonderful poem, you're doing great.
Love the concept..
Thanks for sharing!

[Blue Ivory]

No, thanks for reading! :)

[MagicAl]

Everyone should allow themselves to be happy! Regardless of what it is that will truly make you happy - we all owe it to ourselves to at least try. Best advice I've been given is to stop putting on a front - face your fears, tell those around you when you're not happy and soon, you'll feel the weight lifting.. :)

[Blue Ivory]

Thanks a lot, I appreciate the support. :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Hey you are nay human, and like all humans you have weaknesses and faults, never apologize for being human and having emotions. It is okay to cry or God wouldn't have made it so we could.

[Blue Ivory]

Thanks a lot, Dale. It's just this itching feeling I get lol

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Oh by the way I forgot to say you should be happy and deserve to be.

[Blue Ivory]

Thanks! I should cuz I'd been wanting to for so long I guess