Monster

Monster

I live under the roof of a monster

A monster of my very own blood

He keeps me safe and harms my loved ones

Its poison is slowly driving me insane

 

He is half the reason I was born

Half his traits lie within me

It’s possible that someday I’ll be him

Or perhaps, I am just his new beginning

 

He has suffered a terrible life.

So to me, his nicotine problems are justified

He has a mind that could conquer the world

But maybe, deep down, he was terrified?

 

Tell me, how could you be so cruel?

You hurt an animal less than 3 months old

You must lack conscience, for you have no control

I see what you do to my mother dear

 

Tell me, could you not find a better way?

Did you not have a better outlet?

Or were things different before my time

Preventing you from proper therapy?

 

But sadly, no one understands you.

Like me, you have nobody to confide to.

If I was of your generation, I’d have your respect

And I could have been the one to save you.

 

Your life could have been beautiful

You could have been happy

Your lungs could have been clean

You’d no longer suffocate

 

I suppose you are the origin

Of my need to save a broken soul

It stings me that I cannot help you

But some things in life just can’t be undone

 

I still pray that you be happy

Pray that your suffering may be gone

Some night, I hope, you will sleep peacefully

And wake up smiling like you deserve to

 

We’ve disappointed each other a million times

But like you to me, I could never hate you.

Those feelings, they’re hard for me to express

But when you read this, you’ll be crying too.

Author's Note

Another one of my works from when I was 16. My father tends to be abusive to anyone but me and that bothers me at times, but the fact that he is such a good father to me and he loves me so much is what took me 2 years to publish this. Yes 16 was a difficult time. I'm glad those times are over. And though I still have issues, I'm glad I have more of an understanding of things now.

Reviews

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Hehe wow now this IS what I call poetry emotion!! Well done!!!!! :)Really loved the form and the colours and well everything hehe. And you were 16!? Wow that guy sure did leave an impression hehe. Hoped you moved on, for having such emotion is really heart-breaking... All and all really a fantastic poem hehe. And have to say such raw feelings... I could feel every word OH and love the Heading also!! :) Fantastico!!
-Carl Drake Barnard :)

[Blue Ivory]

Well, I'm glad you liked it, sweety :3

[Rob Santana]

Very deep and expressive. We're all only human, we all have flaws and make mistakes constantly. It's part of life. It may not always be easy, I know from experience with my own parents growing up, but at least you recognize it, accept it and still be able to move on with your life. Good for you.

[A. Amos]

Your poetry is like a story telling, good job

[Gedalya]

This captured the "Domestic Tyrant" very well.

[Anand Sehgal]

complex emotion put to words very nicely. loved it :)

[Brittany Zedalis]

This speaks to me on a personal level. Great job.

[Blue Ivory]

Thank you. I'm glad you could relate. :)

[Neville]

Well good for you Siren and oh' for what it may be worth, I found this to be quite a captivating read. All Good Things, N

[Blue Ivory]

Thanks for stopping by :)

[Neville]

my pleasure entirely. N

[Frieda P]

Sixteen is always a difficult age, throw in an abusive father, even if it's not directed at you personally, can be terrifying and overwhelming. Bravo on having the fortitude to post this, well said.

[Blue Ivory]

Such a honest, and painful write, my friend, And I'am really sorry you have been through this all... but so good you let out the feelings of that periode, and time. That will in the end only heal your heart, and give you more strength, to live further with. I know a lot of these situations, I have faced with me, and friends, things can be horrible, but yet, there will be better times, as there are now. And it's good you talk about it, and so brave. Well written. (hugs)

- Elisa

[Blue Ivory]

Thank you :)

[Nicole Williams]

This is full of emotion and beautifully written,
you have extraordinary talent.

[Blue Ivory]

Thank you :)