The Snow Queen

I'm naked
But you're a mist
So they can't see
And you surround me.

I'm dripping
I'm cold.
It's winter.
But I'm wet.
Still, you're a mist.
So they can't see
How you choke me.

These are simple words, right?

I laugh dryly.
It's carried by icy vapor.
To the others, I exist as but a sound.

I go to them in nightmares.
As a soft whisper.
They say I'm their dream girl-
A damsel in distress.

They write poetry in my name.

FOOLS!

What good will that do me?

I'm trapped here in eternal pain.

Free me.

I am your fantasy. Or so you think.

Tell me, if you love me so much,
Why did you never bother
Looking for me in reality?

What's this fine line between us?
Can lovers never meet?

I am your goddess.
I command you to free me!
I BEG you to free me.

But you can't hear me, can you?

You can. But you refuse to believe it.
I'm just the whispering wind.
And my form is just a blizzard.

But I'll be taking you with me.

Reviews

[pinhead07]

This is really nice. Really liked it. So many layers to it too. Love, the hopelessness of it, how it tears one away, emotional turmoil, how it's all around, like air, but you can't touch it, which drives one insane, in the end, the force of it but like a goddess. Beckoning. Yet you go to it, it takes you with it... :p

[Mark]

mmm... online emotions? I like the mist reference... online relationships surely are very misty. Strong work, frustration and anger poke through here and there.

[Blue Ivory]

Nah this was not based on any online romance :P It was pure fiction written in a moment of overactive imagination!

[BAMchick96]

I like your use of fonts. It adds so much more drama into the poem. Rather then just some lines, it makes the whole thing feel more like a conversation which makes you want to reply to the person. She goes from being demanding to begging and then just back to talking and explaining. Then at the end its like shes had enough of you just listening while she suffers and she takes you in as well to be the next victim of the poem.
Great job. Its so creepy! I love it!

[Blue Ivory]

You're the first person to point out the demanding and begging contrast. I waited so long for someone to say something about that! And yeah I told you I like to write creepy stuff :P

[BAMchick96]

Woot! Maybe this is why Sohan Sir says I should take the arts as a major instead of science. He says i'd be better suited there:P

[Blue Ivory]

Haha I think I'd be better there too but I live in Bangladesh so I have to go by Bangladeshi values, which clearly states that The Arts and Psychology are fields you turn to when you fail in Med School or Engineering -_- Who's Sohan Sir?

[BAMchick96]

Pretty much. : Sigh. Sohan Sir is our media studies teacher.

[Blue Ivory]

Ohhh that british guy? Can't believe I didn't know his name!

[Blue Ivory]

Omg your review's being featured :P Congratulations, new meat!

[BAMchick96]

Yeah, the British guy. And woah. Cool:3

[Frieda P]

Very mysterious and brazen this spirit whoever they may be...can't figure out if this is a delusion, a hallucination or a dream like vapor, it takes my mind all over the place~enthralling read, very stirring.

[Blue Ivory]

Yay I'm glad you thought so :3

[The 13th Eros]

You words are fierce and elegant; a powerful passion that is unleashed upon the soul. There is both a strength and fragility voiced in the echoes of winter's chill.

[Blue Ivory]

Glad you noticed the contrast :)

[Infinite hexes]

I don't know why but I think I just got really freakin inspired by this frozen piece of sh*t
Damn I love you so much, and I love this poem, especially the last part- "But I'll be taking you with me" . This is a strong piece of writing :)

[Blue Ivory]

YAY! I know! This is like my best piece so far, right?

[Infinite hexes]

YES MY LOVE!

[Ahmad Cox]

I can feel that strong spiritual longing and desire for connection and I can feel the fire and intensity coming from it.

[Nick.B]

Interesting poem, love the emotions that the reader can feel while reading this poem, love the ending it leaves you wondering, anyway like your style and this poem was amazing

[Blue Ivory]

Thank you!

[mandy]

i like the thought of looking for a fantasy person in reality.

[Blue Ivory]

Yeah, it gives you purpose sometimes

[Laura Maidah]

Wowo hallucinating sounds very very useful

[Blue Ivory]

Hhahahaha Yes it is B) And thank you!

[Blue Ivory]

So beatiful, full of meaning, and mysterious. I loved it. The ending makes it whimsical, and gives all the further attention a glimpse. You hypnotize with words, and that's a gift dear friend.

E.L.

[Blue Ivory]

Thank you!