I've had the last line for months, and finally the rest has clicked.
Each day I walk your world
but it is my world.
I am a paradox and yet I'm true
you see not me, but I do you.
In morning stir but still in pain,
I need your faith but cannot pray.
I am not black or white
I am the grey.
yes, that grey area...so much of it that some just don't see, don't want to see...they expect perfect clarity and that is something seldom attained....with faith we can get through....Jordan, this is really good.....
the theme...the brevity....i must share, i often come up with a last line...or maybe a title that i need to build around...most often a first line comes and the rest follows pretty easily...but wow...trying to get to that last line...writing backwards...a difficult task...one which you pulled off quite nicely.
j.
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
Thank you Jacob. I owe you a thank you as it was reading your piece earlier where I thought about pa.. read moreThank you Jacob. I owe you a thank you as it was reading your piece earlier where I thought about paradoxes and it clicked what my brain was describing myself as suddenly.
Thank you also for the kind words and review, really appreciated.
It is the grey areas which are the sense of reason. There needs to be more grey to make us stop and think instead of making hasty decisions. Brevity which says a great deal. Pleased to meet you TheJordBaker.
Chris
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
Thank you Chris,
Great to meet you and I look forward to sharing poetry together.
I sense a dilemma in your writing. Faith is a complex subject to write about but, this piece is very relatable, since most of us struggle with this quandary of being either ‘black’ or ‘white’.
yes, that grey area...so much of it that some just don't see, don't want to see...they expect perfect clarity and that is something seldom attained....with faith we can get through....Jordan, this is really good.....
the theme...the brevity....i must share, i often come up with a last line...or maybe a title that i need to build around...most often a first line comes and the rest follows pretty easily...but wow...trying to get to that last line...writing backwards...a difficult task...one which you pulled off quite nicely.
j.
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
Thank you Jacob. I owe you a thank you as it was reading your piece earlier where I thought about pa.. read moreThank you Jacob. I owe you a thank you as it was reading your piece earlier where I thought about paradoxes and it clicked what my brain was describing myself as suddenly.
Thank you also for the kind words and review, really appreciated.
I'm Jordan and I've been away for a while, but I'm trying to refind my voice and work towards a couple of projects.
In my late teens/early twenties I released two poetry collections which are avail.. more..