IV. The Council

part five to follow soon.

But truth it was, that I was there
a lowly man in Abaddon
with two high Kings before my glare.
It was I Christ’s eyes were upon
as was Satan’s gaze to my right.
Sharply the fire between us spread
and they asked about my life.
‘Welcome to the lie of the dead’.

Just seven words, just seven words
from a lifetime I could recall.
And as the flames between us burned
I withered in my jury’s awe.
The Prince’s tongue for the first time
I heard speaking with grace and care
‘In calm and truth your sins of life
before our council please declare’.

I knew if I admitted sin
it would work to my advantage
I had one chance, though it was thin
to escape from all this anguish.
The demon’s eyes were empty grey,
the flames were grand shades of amber.
I thought of things that I could say
for their pity for my candour.

‘The only trust I ever knew
was with the girls I met one May.
It pains me to admit to you
I took aid in the words they’d say.
They came on oh so subtly.
Once or twice I took pleasure there
when I needed some company
when I had money and the dare’.

‘Taking some comfort in the rain,
I stumbled on a man reeling,
throwing his needle in the drain.
And so I tracked down the dealer
and I beat him down to the floor
I took everything he was
and then I gambled it for more.
I’ve also broken petty laws’.

With a quizzed glance at each other,
the kings looked all but satisfied.
I’d hid truth about a lover
but all the same I had not lied.
‘Thank you, my son, for honesty
but may we ask about courtship?’
Still the Lord spoke with modesty
but I worried what would surface.

‘Love is something I do not know
and I know there is nothing more
than that and an exchange bestowed
in life, of that I’m pretty sure.
More sure I am of love to give
if given right to ceaseless bliss.
Spare me a chance of that to live
and I’ll spend it looking for it’.

The beast arose in force and wrench
‘Liar! We saw your limpid dream
we gave you chance in honest test
and we formed your lucidity’.
No more words did He have to say
for quickly their plan became clear.
There was one way to leave this place
as they saw all I saw in here.

‘The only one I’ve ever prized
I haven’t seen for many years.
I saw her there with bitter eyes
I guess it’s fair that’s what they were.
I admit my greatest sin now
was the love I wish I had shown.
I showed her hate and struck her down
yet blamed her for being alone’.

‘And since the day she left my life
I have lived it delinquently.
She had agreed to be my wife
in truth she’s safer without me’.
Finally I started to cry
for the situation and fact
and the look in each juror’s eyes.
‘Can I be saved, my Lord?’ I asked.

Still soft he spoke with pitiful grace
‘Perhaps, if you’d not told us lies,
but slight. In truth you sealed your fate
when in dream you rejected light.
You made your choice by gallow flames
what for your sins and soul was fair.
In tranquil state you will remain
and Satan’s company you’ll share’.

High into light the great one went
and I was left here on my knees.
In Evil’s glare, in brimstone scent
until the fire between us ceased.
I missed it still, the only light
to see my tears from Abaddon
dripping from regret and from my plight
and where my heinous heart belongs.

In the darkness I felt a hand
cold and pure like a winter storm.
I wondered of this monster’s plans
and the eternity in store.
Without a word he lead me here
perhaps His touch had been a clue.
Wind is callous against my tears
in the muse he has brought me to.