Fields of pricked green grass
with a crunch of winter white
like the rueful chroma of her cheek.
Painful prudence tumbling fast
I can’t abide her cries
so I hark the pattering of strangers’ feet.
Standing on the Taciturn Bridge
watching the skyline fade to pink
with eyes as deep as ceaseless wells.
Harmony cradles over the city ridge
how resplendently yet indistinct
are the vistas and the foreseen bells.
All the colours of the streets
and the songs of wave and shore
pass by as melancholy marvel flows.
Crumbles on the sombre concrete
with the shadows on the floor
under withered streetlight glow.
HELLO Jb :)
Firstly great title! I love the first two lines and the last two lines, they are perfect.
"Fields of pricked green grass
with a crunch of winter white"
They set the tone for the poem right away and imagery is AMAZING!
"with the shadows on the floor
under withered streetlight glow."
Then the ending (also great imagery) tells me the journey/fight to escape whatever trouble was unfruitful.
Wonderful poem, very emotionally in-depth and despite the sombre feel, I enjoyed it because it’s extremely beautiful!!!!
Do me a favour...if you have a day job...quit it! It's a waste of your fantastic talent :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Hello Mia!! nice to hear from you again :) thanks so much as always, glad you enjoyed it.
I've.. read moreHello Mia!! nice to hear from you again :) thanks so much as always, glad you enjoyed it.
I've been thinking that myself haha, if only I could afford to!!
HELLO Jb :)
Firstly great title! I love the first two lines and the last two lines, they are perfect.
"Fields of pricked green grass
with a crunch of winter white"
They set the tone for the poem right away and imagery is AMAZING!
"with the shadows on the floor
under withered streetlight glow."
Then the ending (also great imagery) tells me the journey/fight to escape whatever trouble was unfruitful.
Wonderful poem, very emotionally in-depth and despite the sombre feel, I enjoyed it because it’s extremely beautiful!!!!
Do me a favour...if you have a day job...quit it! It's a waste of your fantastic talent :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Hello Mia!! nice to hear from you again :) thanks so much as always, glad you enjoyed it.
I've.. read moreHello Mia!! nice to hear from you again :) thanks so much as always, glad you enjoyed it.
I've been thinking that myself haha, if only I could afford to!!
has a Tennyson ancient poet feel to this---[that is a compliment]
you obviously love the texture of words---a must for a poet
with eyes as deep as ceaseless wells.
All the colours of the streets
and the songs of wave and shore
pass by as melancholy marvel flows.
Crumbles on the sombre concrete
with the shadows on the floor
under withered streetlight glow.
-----gorgeous, simply gorgeous
"Fields of pricked green grass
with a crunch of winter white
like the rueful chroma of her cheek.
Painful prudence tumbling fast
I can’t abide her cries
so I hark the pattering of strangers’ feet."
I'm Jordan and I've been away for a while, but I'm trying to refind my voice and work towards a couple of projects.
In my late teens/early twenties I released two poetry collections which are avail.. more..