Gabrial

I am a dreamer of a man.
I’m esoteric, compelling and vain.
I carry alchemy in my hands
and bane scarlet veneer in my veins,
silver tainted illusions at the tip of my wings
and a nostalgic beating at my core.
Its cadence is one of a king’s
but it’s fragile and forged as yours.
I take your mortal heart in mine
and turn its brittle pages one by one.
I pick out the most sublime lines
and leave them to burn in the sun.
My whisper as wind to a feather
can order a world to its grave.
My touch; pure as spring’s first heather
can calm the sea’s wildest waves
and alter the blush of your face
and tear up the form of your grace.

I am a hellion of a man.
My charm is made of fabricated lies.
There’s crumbled ground where I stand
and bane scarlet demise in my eyes,
deceptive silver illusions at the tip of my wings
and an arduous truth in my soul.
Scripture will talk of the ruin I bring
with these abilities I fail to control.

I am an angel of a man
whose sins have caused storms of blood.
Fact isn’t what I am.
What you see are ephemeral floods
and stone cold, ghostly, crushing loss.
Shadows moving over trampled bones
and the massacre we look across.
The bane scarlet tinctured stones
the cobbles of the unknown.
I am an angel of a man
who surrenders sin for peace of mind.
I am an angel of a man
and those I love have fallen too.
Created in an image,
created by almighty design.

Hell is here when I open my eyes.
They can see too far and too wide;
details which torture my mind.
So look me straight in the lies
and watch this Angel Fall from the sky. 

Reviews

[spiritwind]

Who are you?
You're no tyro wandered into this group to play with words.
I have read you before and thought you quite good
but I never saw THIS coming.
Words fail me
but I want to see you published
and I will not be still until you get published
so that more than the people here in this cafe can read you.
A perfect rating--what else could I do?

[TheJordBaker]

Thank you so much for this incredible review!! It means the world to me.

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarri..]

You have one of the most powerful language and imagery i ever encountered
Splendid piece!

[TheJordBaker]

Thank you again for these great words.

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-]

thank you for writing

[Carolann Dowsett]

To speak of the hearts of angels with such insight. A beautifully breathtaking write. Loved every line.

[TheJordBaker]

Thank you very much :)

[Carolann Dowsett]

Welcome :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really like the self-deprication in this...it is like a cleansing, admitting all of the faults...it is pure honesty...i am going to fall from the sky, watch me.

but perhaps not...there seems some sort of redemption very possible with this.

the imagery is so exact, so explicit..i love being able to visualize...

nice work.


jacob

[TheJordBaker]

thanks Jacob, I'm glad it leaves an affect, once again I'm humbled.

[Mia]

Sweet Mary, what is this! Whoa...JB...WHOA! You've done a terrible thing here, do you realise…there is no going back?! This is incredible incredible stuff!! I don't have a favourite line, which goes to show how amazing this is. EVERY line is my favourite! It starts strong and never loses momentum and ends strong. HA! How did you do this?! I'm afraid you've set a new standard for yourself!! Silly fools...who pass this and don't read it, their lives are less! This is perfect and beautiful and I will read it often and dream of writing something half as awesome and (last one I promise) if you thank me...I'll kill you because I should be thanking you! You're great and one day the rest of the world will see it and acknowledge the awesomeness that is JB...I’ll just be like 'heh...I already knew'

[TheJordBaker]

I'm sorry but you're going to have to kill me Mia because I'm about to give you the biggest thank you yet!! lol. I'll never forget the support and smiles you have given me because each and every piece of it means the world to me :)

[Mia]

You never listen :P
Every bit of it is well deserved JB!

[TheJordBaker]

well if I can't thank you for your kind words I'll thank you for the massive smile on my face!! lol

[.]

Beautiful poem,Jordan. The rhyme scheme flows smoothly and your use of language literally falls off the page. Great job, my dear friend :)

-Cord

[TheJordBaker]

thanks Cord, I appreciate it :)

[Bluefire]

This has to be my favorite poem of yours!
I love the rhyme, flow and definitely the word choice.
Well done! :D

[TheJordBaker]

thank you :)

[Bluefire]

No problem! ^^

[CHRIS ANDES]

it speaks about a different world
nice write
=]

[TheJordBaker]

thank you :)