The Nonsensical Brain of an Evil Mastermind

Random, just as the title suggests. And dumb. Not at all what I usually write but, oh well :D

 

Hello! Peace now my good friend,

Have you been to Paris?

No? Well, neither have I

Though I hear the wheel is a ferris.

I took the guitar from it’s rack

Strung it up a bit,

Hung it out to dry

And then a candle became lit.

It’s flame a-flickered in the wind

Over the dusty sea--

It burnt the tail of a sea-gull bird

And licked the wings of a bee.

The cactus tree sent forth a bloom

The clouds like puffs of smoke

A hobbit hobbling in a scooter--

What an amiable bloke!

No one understands me now,

They say I speak in riddles.

Ah, so your cat sheds purple fur?

Mine can play the fiddle!
Roses and oranges are green and blue

And of course, I love tomatoes

But carrots never were my thing,

Here, have a potato!

Maps can lead to east or west

A compass only north;

Here’s your walking stick, good sir,

On your journey set forth!

Hence forth my name is Bob the Duck

Instead of boring Jane.

And you shall be my sidekick, Tortilla!

We’ll garner fortune and fame!

Wait! Don’t go and walk away!
You aren’t making any sense!

What do you mean by running off

And jumping over that fence?

Come back, come back!
I need a victim—

Er, I mean a friend!

Can’t you tell without you

My world domination can’t begin?

Why is it that I’m destined to

Be lonesome ever more?

I need minions! I need subjects!

I cannot be folklore!
Hence, the diary of an evil mastermind

Who’s only friend is luck.

I am that evil mastermind

Bob, the fearsome Duck!

 

 

Author's Note

This is a fun piece, and probably not a literary masterpiece. In fact, I *know* it's not a literary materpiece. I'm just hoping this was entertaining to someone! So critique and comment, and I'll know you enjoyed it :D

Reviews

[Pandora-Jane Shteln]

I love it! For some reason it reminds me of "Alice in Wonderland" ...(:
So...criticism....
"Strung it up a bit,
Hung it out to dry"
Doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the rhyme scheme, but maybe you meant to do that. (:
"Here, have a potato!"
Might work better with another syllable. Like, "Here have a 'fine' potato'", or a 'sand' potato, or some crazy bit of description. (:
"On your journey set forth!"
Also might work well with another syllable..."On your journey 'now' set forth!" or something like it...
"Hence forth my name is Bob the Duck
Instead of boring Jane."
Now here is something that *cannot* be overlooked! 'Jane' isn't a boring name at all! How could you say such a thing? My feelings have been smashed into microscopic pieces!
;)
Anyway, awesome job! I'd love to act this out with some elementary students! Like you yourself said, and Eldee agreed, it's an awesomely fun piece! (:

[Eldee]

It was definitely a fun piece, I couldn't help but grin when reading it.
It's so much fun to just sit back, relax, and read writing purely for entertainments sake.
Two thumbs up darling!