Mockingjay Decides - Alternative Ending

My alternative ending to Suzanne Collin's trilogy "The Hunger Games". For those of you who would have preferred a more warmer ending and with her choosing Gale. Peeta fans, this one's not for you ;)

My alternative ending to Mockingjay is called Chapter 28 following Chapter 27 after the first paragraph of page 452 when Peeta, Haymitch and Katniss finish working on their book to help with therapy as Dr Aurelius suggested. In my version, the last sentence of chapter 27 would be: “An old memory that surfaces. A late primrose preserved between the pages. Strange bits of happiness, like the photo of Finnick and Annie’s newborn son.”

Chapter 28 - the alternative ending...

‘The book was a great idea’ I try to tell myself. I think about Dr Aurelius’ advice about letting go or at least trying to let go, of anger and hurt, blame, not for anyone else but for my own good. He believes that my feelings of resentment and hate inside myself that makes me want to shut everyone out will only grow like poison inside me. I think about the last few weeks of my troubles only feeling worse the more I ponder on it. The nightmares forever haunting me. How long will it go on? Will I live with this for the rest of my life? But the thought of Dr Aurelius’ glimpse of hope leaves me curious. Surely there’s some hope of a better future? Especially now that the controlling Capitol laws have been taken down. Recovering from the horrors of what the Hunger Games have caused me and how it has messed me up inside may be a miracle. Even the doctors had labeled me as a concerned mental patient after the burning incident where I lost Prim. Other citizens of district 12 like Greasy Sae seem to be hopeful about President Paylor’s suggestions on the new laws being arranged to offer equality throughout Panem. Everyone seems to be satisfied, except the few survivors from the Capitol who have had to learn to live with less luxuries now that resources are being shared more evenly. Things in Panem are definitely brightening up. I feel a part of me wanting to share in this brighter future but the shadowed feelings of guilt and despair weigh heavier over me and tell me I don’t deserve to share in it, after all the pain I caused and the deaths of those who believed in me. What were they thinking? What did they see in me that was any good? And how do I let this go? 

Looking through the book, I stop at a page that holds a photo of Gale and I posing with the advanced bows that Beetee had made us in 13. I think to myself ‘he really did look striking in that uniform’. Then I notice his arm around me and our faces trying to hold in a laugh. I miss it. I miss him. He always made me feel like a better me and somehow he had a way of bringing the best out of me. I think about how terribly I treated him during the rebellion. I was so concerned with my own worries that I pushed him to the side when I needed him most. And through all those times, he never stopped fighting with me by my side. I feel terrible about making him feel responsible for Prim’s death. I hate myself for always needing to blame others, especially the ones I love, just so that I can push them away from me to numb my pain. And now he has gone. I have pushed him away. For good.

I look up at Peeta and Haymitch who have left me with the book and are now drinking and laughing at the table by the fireplace. Somehow they have found a way to feel better, at least for this moment. “Katniss, come over here” says Haymitch. I pause for a moment and think ‘I want to feel some of that happiness too. Even if it’s not real. Even if it’s just for a moment’. Noticing my frozen position, still locked on the floor with the book, Peeta staggers his way over to me and offers his hands to help me up. Those blue eyes locked into mine seem brighter and more hopeful. Haymitch starts making sounds with his mouth as though it is supposed to be music. Peeta pulls me up and with a seductive tone he asks “may I have this dance?”. I’m still filled with thought and trying to take in the setting of Haymitch and Peeta filled with joy. Before I can answer, Peeta pulls me into his strong arms and with another smirk of laughter at Haymitch’s pathetic trumpet sounds, he swings me out and twirls me around and then pulls me back in with a cheeky smile. I close my eyes and try to forget about all the nightmares, the way Peeta always cradled me in his arms on those train rides to the games until I fell into peaceful sleeps. But then one nightmare comes to mind that Peeta’s embrace does not help me escape. It’s the thought of being without Gale. Why did he go to district 2? Why is he not by my side anymore? Has he given up on me? I think about the last time I saw him, in the crowd, helpless and not responding to help me when I was dragged out after shooting President Coin. The look of pain on his face but no movement toward me. Was he letting me go, although it hurt him? I think about my life without him and hunting without him. I want to go back to those days of hunting in the woods with him, where we shared a bond of fighting to keep our families alive. I try to imagine Gale in district 2 now. What would he be doing? Is he still hunting? and then I can feel my body shiver with a shrieking pain drop into my heart as I think, ‘is he hunting with another girl? has he found someone else to replace me?’ At once I pull away, open my eyes from those nightmares and look straight into Peeta’s face. Only it was Gale I was hoping to see. “What’s going on Katniss?” he says with a more worried tone. Haymitch has stopped making melodies and is dragging out his last note with confusing stares at me. I don’t know what’s going on either and I don’t want to say anything about it, especially to them. So I just step back, grab the book and run upstairs, looking for a comforting spot. Prim’s room. I walk over to her bed, which still carries her innocent scent and climb under the covers, stare at any pages I find of my mother, Prim and Gale, the people I love who are no longer around me. I think about how I will never see Prim again and then the nightmares of Gale’s new life without me creep up again and I cry myself to sleep. 

I feel a wet moist rubbing my face. A creature in the arena comes to mind that frightens me but then the gentle purr calms me and I wake to find Buttercup licking my face, curled up on my chest and under my chin. She has never been so loving toward me. Maybe the idea of someone sleeping in Prim’s bed comforts her a little? We both miss her. Buttercup and I were never quite friends but I acknowledge her comfort with a few strokes along her back as I get up. Downstairs, I notice Peeta and Haymitch are still here, asleep in the lounge. They must have past out after a little too much drinking. I shake my head at those two and decide to make a trip to District 2 to see Gale. I can’t stand the thought of not going to see for myself, so that I can find out what’s real or not real in my nightmare of Gale. Does he still care? Do I love him and want to be with him? Or I am I just wrecked at the thought of losing him? I must go and find out for myself. I think back to that conversation I over heard at Tigris’ house in the Capitol when Gale assured Peeta how this triangle was my problem and that the choice was in my hands. To choose Peeta, Gale or neither of them. Gale was right, eventually I would have to choose. I knew I couldn’t keep them both close to me like that forever. It wasn’t fair on them, but I just couldn’t find it in myself to let either of them go. All I knew was that I needed them both to be there for me and I didn’t want to lose them. Gale’s last comment to Peeta “Katniss will pick whoever she thinks she can’t survive without.” still gives me chills and annoys me a little. But then I have to remind myself that he had every right to feel hurt. He was always waiting by my side. Waiting for me to decide. But never forcing me to choose. Just patiently waiting. I think about this again and try to search within myself for the truth. ‘Who can I not live without?’ I ask myself, hoping that that’s what he meant. Although a familiar doubt creeps in me wondering if he was only referring to my selfishness. “Maybe he meant both?” I decide to believe. I see my father’s hunting jacket draped over the chair. Closing my eyes and holding onto his jacket as a hope of guidance from my father, I try to get a glimpse of the truth. Something in me points to Gale. I think about how Gale must have been so frustrated with my indecisiveness that he probably decided to step back and leave me with Peeta. I wonder to myself, ‘did he want me to follow him? or did he change his mind and give up?‘ Maybe he believed that it was Peeta I loved and he stepped back to help me decide?”  I remember him mentioning to me before that he wanted my feelings to be real if I was going to be with him. Not mixed and confused like our last kiss by the fire that was as meaningless as kissing someone drunk, as he put it. It was hard to tell during the Hunger Games and rebellion while desperation to keep them both alive overwhelmed me. I pick up the jacket and decide to wear it as it brings me some comfort from my father. I miss him. Gale always filled the hole that was left in me after my father died. It was him who helped me find myself again. But now with Gale gone too, this hunting jacket is all I have left to accompany me on my hunts. 

I’m about to sneak out the door when I hear Peeta’s voice pause me at the entrance, “they won’t let you in” he says. “District 2 are not allowing visitors during the development work up there. Strict orders” he adds. I try not to show my disappointment or shock at this news but I decide to find a way in anyway. “I’m going hunting” I say, closing the door behind me, trying not to look back so that he can’t read the truth in my eyes. ‘How does he even know?’  I think to myself. I decide to head for the woods first to shoot a few rabbits and squirrels, just incase Peeta spies on my direction. The meat could come in handy anyway if bribing my way into District 2 stands a chance. Deeper in the woods now, I trip on a rock and fall to the ground, suddenly feeling threatened for a moment and then wishing I had Gale to watch my back. I try to hold myself together and say “My name is Katniss Everdeen. You survived two Hunger Games and the Capitol War. You are a hunter and a survivor.” The thoughts give me some sense of empowerment but as I get up, my eye catches a familiar wire sparkle hanging above me. One of Gale’s traps. A thrill rushes through me. ‘Is he here?’ a hopeful whisper in me asks. I move closer toward it and inspect it a little. I remember that this is how I first met him, about 5 years ago. I close my eyes and try to imagine Gale’s voice shout out from behind me,‘thats dangerous’ as those first words of his brought us to meet. I turn around. No one. Not a sign of him. I look back up at the trap and shrug my shoulders. It must have been an old one that he left behind. But it still seems strange as he wouldn’t usually leave his traps there unless he were forced to leave in a hurry. I hear a hovercraft flying over me and my instant reaction is to duck and hide but then I have to remind myself that the laws have changed now. We are free to hunt. As that hits me, a smile slips on my face and I decide to embrace this hunting time in the woods for what it’s worth. I make my way over to the house near the lake, a place that my father took me to and a place where I shared many memories with Gale. 

As I approach the house, a part of me hopes to find Gale inside but I try to let it go, though I remind myself that I will still try to find him in district 2. As my thoughts try to let go of Gale, I pull out a loaf of bread to snack on and Peeta comes to mind. Things were not quite the same between us after he returned from President Snow’s torturous hijack as a different person. A product of the Capitol. I was very grateful to have him back alive and back to himself eventually. After all, that had been my main goal, to keep him alive and safe. All through our team efforts in the 74th Hunger Games and the Quarter Quell, our second game. But since having won our fight with the Capitol, being free from the pressure to act as lovers as a cover up for protection from President Snow and since having come home safely to try and rebuild our lives, I have questioned my feelings for Peeta. I was always confused by the act we had to play, of ‘Star Crossed Lovers’, but the bond we shared was now more like a family bond of victors who had survived some of the greatest horrors of the Hunger Games together. We understood each other’s pain and grieved together for our losses. But since being back in district 12 with no more pressure to act, romance from Peeta has not been a desire of mine. I only wanted the family bond we shared. With the hype of survival in the games no longer being with us, his kisses back in district 12 only felt empty. I can’t make myself feel anything more for him and I don’t want to act anymore. I want the real thing and I am not finding it with Peeta.” 

As I’ve been noticing how Haymitch and Peeta seem to have found their ways to move on from the past and laugh a bit, they have bonded more while I have found myself withdrawing and missing my life without my mother, Prim and Gale more and more everyday. But knowing that my mother and Gale are still alive and out there somewhere keeps me feeling restless about settling down without them. I remind myself that my mother will stay in touch. That we will visit each other. But not Gale. I have not heard from him. Haymitch and Peeta have been like family to me since the games and rebellion. They’ve been so good to me. But I know I can’t stay here anymore. They were my life during the games and war. But now that the war and games are all over and we are back in district 12, I feel my heart reaching out saying‘all I want more than anything is my life back with Gale. My life before the Hunger Games’. Suddenly I have this urge to run away with him as we had discussed on the day of the reaping of my first hunger games. Then it hits me. If I’m going to move on and let go. If I’m going to celebrate the victory of our overthrow of the Capitol with anyone, I want to celebrate it with Gale. After all, he was the one who shared in my frustrations and hate for the Capitol and dreamed with me of a revolution all those years. I step into the house by the lake and start to light a fire. 

After about 4 hours in the woods, I clean up the fire and head back into district 12. I decide to take another route to the train station to avoid passing the Victors Village where Peeta and Haymitch are. Carrying the rabbits and squirrels I shot, I head for the train to District 2. As I arrive, I throw the hood of my fathers jacket over my head to keep disguised and exit off the train at District 2. At the front gate, there are four guards standing at the entrance. As I quickly workout my plan to get in, I observe the first crowd of people walking through. I notice that they are all men, probably to do work here. When I see the last group of men moving in to go through the gate, I decide that my last chance of getting in there is to hide in the middle of the crowd of tall men and hope to get through without being seen. Maybe my father’s jacket will at least disguise me as a male at least. I am almost through when a hand grabs onto my arm and pulls me to the side. He stares into my face noticing that I am female and that I look out of place. “What’s your business here?” he asks. I beg him with a whisper “please let me go in? I have to find Gale Hawthorne urgently. Now.” I hold out to him my rabbit meat as a token of payment but when he shows no interest in the meat, I remember that everyone probably gets fed well now days, and most probably eat better meals than rabbit. But then his face lightens up as he recognizes my face. He sees the desperation in my eyes and says with a smile “You were our Mockingjay. You gave me hope you know?”. I smile back a little, trying to accept his grateful words. He looks at the other guards standing near him and then shoots me back a serious look and whispers “when I shout run, you must run as far as you can in that direction until you find the next gate, ok?”. I switch to a serious expression and nod, handing him all the meat to make it look like he was taking it off me. Then he shouts so that the other guards take him seriously, “Get out of here girl. No entry here for you today!”. He points me away toward his left and I run for that direction as fast as I can, feeling the cameras on me. After all the shots of cameras that I have had to put up with, invading my privacy, I know the feeling when there is one is on me so I keep running. I’m not really sure why there is so much fuss about the high security and I wonder to myself what they might be hiding. 

After about a kilometer of running along the outside wall, I find another smaller entrance. There are no guards but I can bet there are still cameras pointed at me. I remember they told me that Gale is doing some fancy job in here and I wonder if he might be one of the people who can see me on the camera. I start to climb the fence and the alarm goes off. Bolting over, I run as fast as I can to find Gale. “Hey! What do you think you are doing?” a voice shouts toward me. I keep running trying to find some place I can hide until I figure out where to look next. ‘I have to see him. I have to see for myself what’s real and find out if I haven’t lost him yet’ I tell myself. I slide in between two buildings and sit low as I watch guards run toward the gate where the cameras spotted me climbing over. I guess security were not expecting a break in at a time when the war was now over. I see a bomb go off ahead. It looks similar to one of Gale’s bombs that destroyed the Nut house. I hear a familiar voice calling out directions and then I see him. I bolt the fastest run that I can toward him and then I hear guns shooting out, following my trail. I run into him from behind and wrap my arms so tightly around him and shout his name “Gale!”. I don’t know what else to say except his name. “Gale!” I just hold tight onto him. “Catnip hey uh -” he says but a guard interrupts him and calls out an order and I am pulled away from him. He seems stressed and follows his command immediately, looking back once very quickly to see me in tears, getting carried away from him, reaching out to him. Like at the execution when I last saw him after I was dragged out. I see his eyes holding back. His expression shows sadness but he pulls himself forward with a serious grin to continue focusing on work as though he has no choice but to watch me disappear. As I find myself fighting the guards who are pulling me away. As I watch him disappear, all confusion drops to the ground and my feelings for him are crystal clear. It is Gale who I love more than anyone. I am sure of it now and it breaks me to see him disappear. ‘It’s my fault’ I tell to myself ‘why didn’t you keep me close when he was near? When he was doing nothing but loving you!” I give up on fighting with the guards and let them carry me into the offices. 

I get taken into custody and questioned. When they find out that it’s me, the Mockingjay, they make a call to District 12 where Haymitch informs them of my mental state. This is not the first time that they have used this as an excuse for me but they let me off from punishment. After a couple of hours of waiting, handcuffed to a chair, I am sent back on the next train with guards and warned not to return and interrupt the important work going on again. ‘I don’t understand’, I think to myself. ‘Why is it so secretive over here?’. I make a mental note to myself to ask Plutarch about this when I return home. “He would respect me enough to fill me in on the secret plans” I tell myself, “after all, we worked closely together and I was their most important player in the rebellion”. 

As soon as the guards have dropped me off at my house. Haymitch and Peeta take me in and I receive furious looks from them. Peeta argues “Katniss, I told you -” but I don’t let him finish speaking before I turn around and run out the door so fast that neither Haymitch’s tired old legs or Peeta’s artificial leg can keep up with me. They give up on chasing and let me go. I think they know where I’m headed and the woods are not a place they feel safe wondering around in anyway. No one except Gale and I dared to bravely go out there to hunt. Although I know by now that they have lost me, I don’t stop running until I can see a view of the lake. From there I walk to catch my breath and I spend the rest of my time thinking of my father’s song about the hanging tree. There is nothing in my future that I can look forward to now. It was all taken from me. Everything is different now. Even me. For a moment the song tempts me to make myself a necklace of rope to join Prim and my father, but then I jump when I hear the sound of a mutt coming toward me. My hunting alert has faded as the part of me that wants to give up holds me back from lifting my bow to defend myself. Before I make out that it’s not a mutt but a bear, I see an arrow of fire fly past me and go through it’s heart and then a voice call out “that’s dangerous”. I turn around and see him. He looks so healthy and strong. I notice a few scars from the rebel fights at Capitol about a month ago. “Gale!” I shout in disbelief that he is actually here. “Is this real?” I think. I’m stuck and I can’t get my feet to move but I want to run towards him. He runs over towards me and before I can hug him, he grabs my hand and shouts “Catnip, run!”. The pull of his hand helps me to move my feet into motion again and I don’t question him except trust him and run with him. “Catnip, run. Run with me” he says again and then I try to pick up my pace. 

We reach the front of the lake house, falling to the ground out of breath. I have no explanation for what just happened but I try to remind myself again “Gale is here! He came back! Maybe Peeta told him where I was? Maybe he just knew where I’d go hide next? But he’s here”. While still on the ground he pulls me toward him and whispers “run away with me?” At first I don’t know what to think? Are we in trouble? Do we need to hide? But the idea of having this moment back with Gale as though it were that day of the reaping where Gale had asked me to run away with him before my first Hunger Games makes everything feel perfect again. I move in to lean on him but he flinches with signs of pain and I notice he is hurt. He stares into my eyes searching for answers. Searching for the truth about how I feel although it was usually always so easy for him to read me. Back in the days of hunting, I could never hide anything from Gale. “What happened?” I ask. “I quit that job right after I saw you getting dragged away from me and they didn’t like the timing of it after such an urgent matter so they -”. I jump into his sentence, “punished you?” He nods, “something like that. The whole job was a fail when I pulled out”. Guilt drops over me. More pain I have caused him. “I’m so sorry about the bad timing” I say apologetically. “No” he says “it was perfect timing. I was about to go in to the explosive site and risk my life to fix the -”, he pauses as though he is not sure how to explain the long story about the work going on in district 2 but then his dark intense eyes lock mine as he continues, “I would have lost my life trying to finish that job and they needed someone who could do it right but as soon as I saw a good reason to live, you, I knew couldn’t go in there” He stares at my scared eyes as though trying to read me as he used to, maybe hoping to see if I have really decided this time. If I am sure now, that I feel the same way. I try to find the words. “Come on Katniss, say what you wanted to say all along’” I tell myself but instead nothing comes out. So I just kiss him, then look at him. “I knew you’d kiss me” he jokes as he points to his wound and then smiles at the pain. My weakness for pain always softened me to give in to affection. It was my only way of feeling helpful when I was confused and so desperate to do something to reach out and make his pain go away. But this time, I knew the kiss meant more. I hug him and force the words out of my mouth “please don’t ever leave me again. I can’t -” the words struggle out of me. I have never been good at confessing and being vulnerable. I force it out of me, “I can’t survive without you.” He smiles as though acknowledging that I have heard his conversation with Peeta back at the Capitol. I feel his arms tighten around mine and I lean my head into his neck and then with more confidence, completely sure, I whisper “I love you”. His face lights up with a smile. This is the first time I have been able to say those words back to him. His protective arms hold me tight as he says “I’m here Katniss and I am never leaving you”. We kiss again and it feels more real than ever. Then he jokes “So I’m thinking of building some extra rooms to this house for us. What do you think?” I look up at him and smile at the idea of us living out here in the woods, our real home. He picks me up and carries me into the lake house to prepare a fire. For the first time in a long time, I feel completely myself and at home again. I have Gale now and I will never let him go, ever again. He is the man I cannot survive without.

Author's Note

The Hunger Games was a great read! Though I originally wrote this alternative ending because when I finished reading the third Hunger Games book, I was so unsatisfied with the ending. It just felt wrong after the build up of book 2, unresolved, rushed and I felt her decision process was not well thought through. So just for fun and to satisfy myself and anyone else who agrees, here's my version of the ending. Hope you enjoy it and I'd be interested to hear your feedback. Cheers :)