The Last Time

A father holds his baby daughter one last time.

She was so cold.  Holding her in my arms I can remember how cold she was.  Not just cold feet and cold hands like some babies get and you have to cover them with socks and gloves.  But, her head was cold too.  I put a little cap on her head.

                I knew I didn’t have much time left.  They’d be coming to get her soon.  How would I react, I remember wondering.  Would I protest?  Would I be fine with realizing that this would be the last time holding her?  I was still making little ‘chicka, chicka’ noises in her ear like I always did and she’d smile so big.  I wish she’d smile now.  Oh, baby, won’t you smile just one more time.  Just one more time for Daddy.

                The door of the hospital room opened halfway and there was a soft knock at the door, “Mr. Smith?”  It was Mrs. Cooper from the funeral home.  “Take all the time you need.”  She left.

                It was a long time before I was ready.  I kissed my little girl’s cheeks and then her little hands one last time.

Author's Note

Any criticism appreciated.

Reviews

[Crowsef]

Short and very moving. Thanks for sharing - a good piece of writing, well told.

[Writer360]

P.S
what was her name? if you don't mind me asking.

[Writer360]

Josh I think this is amazing and so brave of u to share such an emotional experience with us. I am so glad
that u finally found something to write about, I hope this means that u will continue with writing now and if u wanted to add more detail and make it longer you could that would be great, it would only make the piece even stronger. It's all up to u on what u want to do with it from here, what ever u decide I am behind ya 100% of the way. You have so much potential, I am proud of ya it takes guts to let others read your work let alone letting them judge it. It takes a true writer to see that this is will make u a stronger writer, it also builds character. I hope that u will continue sharing with me and others, I can't wait to read your next piece! Well see ya! :)
-Camille

[Josh]

Thanks, Camille!! I think I might make it longer and add more detail, make it a little more personal...her name was Chloe

[Writer360]

That's a pretty name, I love that name, along with many others like Nathan, Rose, Hazel, and Bill. My friends nick name is bill along with many others but she prefers bill more. Please don't ask I have no clue she's just weird like that. I think that's the main reason why we are friends cause I am weird too.

[Josh]

Should I make it longer? Add more detail? More back story?