Writers Block

sumchin funny,stupid and reminiscent of my attitude...

 

Blank. This screen is blank. As I sit here and watch this blankness I reminisce about well,nothing. That's why this damn screen is blank... Nevertheless, I just start writing. Its more writing in the hope that something worth reading can arise from this blankness,than the usual. Oh well,lets see where this journey of random writing takes us...

As I stare at the computer screen with the form of a blank page in it, I think to myself about the ways in which I could fill it. Perhaps write a pointless poem that only serves the purpose of being called just that...a 'poem' ,or maybe something long and drawn out that doesn't really have meaning to it. I could always just assume that writing a rendition of an existing work is the best way forward in my rather acrimonious journey but instead I just sit. I sit and look around the room seeking some inspiration and far less than a little did I know that my next piece would be on just this...

Being a young writer is very,very strenuous. There are just so many things that can prevent the thoughts in mind to prevail as a body of artistic work...though these days I am certainly unaffected by these 'things'. Maybe I'm just lazy,maybe even I'm just not good enough to be a young writer.

Maybe I should just stop trying to manifest these promising ideas into works of art and just start living. If its really meant to be,maybe it will happen when I'm older and wiser. Maybe I'll be the Micheal Jordan of writing when I grow up. I certainly have the potential and the longing for authority (or whatever its called to have the ability to think up books with the utmost ease... “authorance” just doesn't sound right) but its seemingly not quite for me just yet.

While deeply lamenting my future as a writer, I finally get a distraction. I notice my vibrating cellphone and check it in the hopes that its something worthwhile. It isn't. Just another needless notification about a Facebook friend who I do not even know that will throw a party I wont even attend. Oh well,there goes that. Back to the blank screen.

Since this 'getting inspiration' thing is not working out too well, I step out for some fresh air. Its actually a mild mid-autumn day slowly dragging its feet towards dusk. I feel like maybe I mistakenly threw out diamonds while mining gold I could not even reach because I'd lost such a beautiful day. As the sun's glare slightly makes me squint my eyes, I see some figures closing in from the distance. There generally aren't that many people on Epod Avenue at these hours except the passing commuters rushing to the neighbouring Govane Township,hoping to evade the treacherous veil of darkness that carries the ruthless criminals that stick up even their neighbours.

As these figures near,I gradually start to recognise them as a group of friends I'm familiar with. You can just tell from their hip-hop orientated attire that they were indeed laid back teenagers one would easily associate with me. When they finally make it to where I'm sitting,ahead of home on the virtually car-free road, I rise to greet my comrades. Yes, that's what we call each other as per a playful reference to Animal Farm.

As I enter the conversation,which is inevitably about girls, someone's tongue slips about Sara being sighted earlier exiting Mario's car. There wouldn't be much of a problem regarding this if Sara wasn't my guiding light and Mario wasn't the notoriously hedonistic womaniser known as my brother. I know my brother and he'd never let the opportunity of shagging any woman he gives a lift pass him. In fact,whenever we talk,he admits that the girls he drops off are floozies and nothing but cheap little w****s who sell themselves for a joyrides �" and everyone around agrees with him. I can only come to the conclusion that he has given Sara something that will garner her ill-repute but I don't really care that much. I let the comrades know how I feel about this whole situation to where we reach the awkward moment of everyone thinking I'm in denial,but no one having the gall to actually admit it.

The air around the actual conversation grew tense and was luckily broken by the suggestion of Brian to not get mad but instead get even. As some of the others leave,we talk about who could possibly replace the 1^st girl I not only loved but,as of a few minutes ago,fell out of love with. He mentions girls a plenty and said some interesting things about some of them. The name that drew the most interest was that of Lisa Lane. She's part of the contingent of students from the Uptown Township which is further from Epod than Govane. She's very alluring and I did think of making a move on her but I was too afraid to let go of the beautiful dead love. Lisa was very appealing to me,moreso at this time when I was coming to terms with everything that was happening.

Brian being more of the ladies man agrees to set up my meeting with her. I'm unsure of what to expect as I'm not really well acquainted with Lisa but then again there is no way I can know what'll arise from our meeting. The day chosen for me to attack is a Saturday night the comrades had set aside for some teenage festivities,or however you wish to put it �" all I know is that I'm talking to Lisa at that party.

When the time comes,the comrades from Govane pass through Epod,prompting me to walk up to Uptown to the party with them. Everyone seems to have shelled out the swank for the occasion,and among this particularly well-dressed group of teens is the discussion of me coming along to a gathering which isn't something that's ever happened before. They're all seemingly impressed and as we enter the residence of the party at Uptown,Brian immediately introduces me Lisa but quickly withdraws and I start off what I hope to be an eventful night.

My speaking with Lisa starts off on the rather awkward note but as time passes we become embroiled in flowing conversation. She really is everything I thought she would be, and with the people around she has a way of being the most cherished commodity but still brings out the best in them . She has a way of paying all her attention to me but simultaneously making everyone feel the same. She really is the life of the party.

She also has the knack of getting the truth out of people and soon,even I,start singing my devotions to her. Lisa has the whole party eating out of her hand,as a result I couldn't really ask her out. It ends up not mattering much in the end because I walk all the way to Uptown to just to see her again,and we speak. Before I know it, I find myself locked in a passionate embrace and I am intoxicated by the irresistible touch of her lips. We pick up where we left off last night and I soon find myself pouring out my heart and soul to her but this time in more detail. She seems to understand all the things that plague me. She comforts all my insecurities and has me thinking 'Sara who??' by the time I stagger back to Epod because of my second encounter with her.

On my way home I encounter Brian and thank him for hooking me up with Lisa,its really unbelievable what the new girl in my life has me feeling like. Brian is overjoyed at how I moved on but being the buzzkill he tells me to not take things too fast with Lisa. I cant hear anything he tells me,I'm still on the higher plateau Lisa left me on.

When I reach home just after it was dark, I return to the computer screen that had plagued me so greatly just days before. When Facebook asks me “What's on your mind?”, I start typing all my crude thoughts that I previously lacked the courage to say to all my so-called friends. That's the effect Lisa has on me,she makes me feel like Hercules' Father. I AM UNTOUCHABLE. The page that was seemingly impossible to fill was now exceeded and I would've carried on were it not for the rude intrusion of sleep.

I awake to find that its the weekend and this only meant that I was able to find Lisa in Uptown later on in the night. In the time preceding the festivities, I find myself receiving a mandatory lecture from my sister,Rita. She somehow knows about Lisa and I,but I feel this is really no ones business except mine and Lisa's... I must admit,though its certainly not what I wanted to hear,Rita made a few very interesting points and shared some rather interesting information...as per usual. I find it rather odd how Rita always knows about certain events in my life and always gives me a definitive idea as to how I should respond...and she's right more often than not.

Rita tells me about the Lisa I don't really know. The Lisa that I don't want to know. She says my Lisa is cold,unforgiving and deceitful. She even makes reference to the guys that have gone into serious relationships with her,and the common denominator is that they're all washed-up has-beens. All the people Rita mentions are sad people whose happiness in life was represented by her,but she now manifests the melancholy that has become of them in their fallen glory.

Bearing this in mind, I,later on,make my way to Uptown and although I'm starting to experience that empty feeling from before I met Lisa . When I finally get the chance, I speak to her and as usual she comforts me and puts me in a less sombre mood. I try shaking this feeling off and I walk over to Brian who is currently talking to a very beautiful girl who looks vaguely familiar. I tell him about Rita's warning and my feeling on this. Brian is seemingly perplexed and seems guilty of something but because of Lisa's presence,he comes clean. He tells that he knew all along that Lisa had the dark side I never saw but figured he would at least let me ride out the wave of losing Sara with Lisa. Lisa is a philanderer,one that is popular with way too many people to ever truly love me as much as I seemingly love her. Apart from me,she is involved with a multitude of teenagers,many of their fathers and even some of their mothers...

This,at first, is too much to bare but Brian,always being resourceful,instructs me to talk to the girl he was talking to �" and aren't I glad he did... There's a vague familiarity about her and I soon realise just why. The new girl is Mary Lane,Lisa's less superficial,more natural and equally beautiful cousin. Already having encountered Lisa during that night, I was rather blunt,but Mary didn't mind. She says she's used to being largely sidelined by society. I insensitively ask her why,why does everybody frown upon Mary but embrace Lisa? And she too was honest,but in a different way. Mary is much calmer,more resolute,but many think more dangerous...

Mary makes the voice of Rita resonate louder and soon the feelings for Lisa subside for the feeling Mary gives me. I like Mary,she is more reserved but also more dangerous... before Brian left us,he warned me that there IS a reason why she is so frowned upon,but at this point in time Lisa's last kiss leaves me not caring. Mary and I take a step outside for a private conversation,and like her cousin, I find myself soon in an embrace with her. Its different from anything I've ever experienced. It was through Mary's breathless kisses that I found myself on cloud 9. She opened my mind in ways much more calming than Lisa. Mary and I ascended to a level of thought that I never knew existed. Being with her relaxed and humoured me greatly. She made time stand still. And even though Lisa saw us together,she didn't mind infact she came to us and joined Mary in pleasuring me. Their relentless kisses started making me dizzy and then... BLANK.

I don't know what happened. My heart was racing because of Lisa and my mind was gradually slowing down because of Mary,is the last I can remember before that blackout. Thankfully Brian and Rita somehow got me home,and now I'm back in front of the blank screen. I finally realise that these girls are bad news,and I should perhaps reconcile with Sara before I meet any more of the Lanes.

Before I can even call,she comes to visit after knowing of my experiences because of trying to replace her. She says she forgives me for assuming she'd betray me that easily and that Mario did indeed give her a lift because he is my brother and felt the need to make sure that she gets to me safely,which therefore means she is innocent and still pure. Sara is the reason I do not need Lisa or Mary �" she fills my mind with every sentence it needs. And although things were rather tough between us,when she seemed distant,its because I put others before her.

Since Sara and I have reconciled, I have not been able to see a blank page or deal with 'untimely' Facebook notifications because I'm too busy for that these days. As for being a young writer, I'm still not sure about being a writer,but I'm certainly still young,and willing to explore where writing randomly can lead me...

Maybe one day I will be able to write allegory novels,but Rita just told me not to rush things and let them happen naturally. She also just told me to never just write for the sake of being a writer but instead,do it because I have Sara...

As soon as she left the room, I also decided to clarify some things you may never realise,or perhaps ruin your perfect ending...

Well,Sara is the light of my life because she symbolizes my inspiration. Lisa is liquor and Mary is illegal. Brian is my brain and Rita is Logic and Reason...pretty cool right?? Oh yeah and Mario would represent my fellow CONS in the CONSTRUCTIVE TROUPE. I think it's kinda funny that you will probably go back to read this again,like I said, I'm not a writer yet �" All the hints were there,you just never saw them. The moral of the story is... what you make of it.

Anyone knows why Brian is so angry at me??

Author's Note

its my first attempt and rather follied but get at me...

Reviews

[CecilA]

Intriguing story. What would make it a great story would be more 'showing' and less 'telling.' I suggest that you add some dialog from your characters so that we can hear their side of the story rather that hearing everything from you. In other words don't be a puppeteer, be a writer. It would be nice to add more information about the places your characters are in. I would like to 'see' you characters too. Are they tall, short, full figured, healthy, what do they wear, what's their favorite music, etc. Your premise could use some work because 'what you make of it' is weak. Consider making your 'Writer's Block' a separate story. Then write the story of your love life. I believe that's the story most readers would like to read. Your writer's block lasted only four and one-half paragraphs so you obviously have that under control. Hear I go again telling you what to do but you know what to do next. I'm anxious to see how you develop this story; which could be just the beginning. PS: I have no idea where you come up with the excuse that you're not a writer yet. Now get to work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!