The Last Summer of Solitude (Prologue)

The prologue to my epic poem "The Last Summer of Solitude"

The Last Summer of Solitude

 

Prologue

 

My innocence is departing from me,

It seems to be sin’s black hand and decree.

And losing innocence is no small feat,

Yet innocuous, virulent will beat.

And this my itinerary and way,

For innocence has seen its last bright days.

This is the lost age of literature,

We’re made up of frauds, athletes, yet quitters.

And my boat is sailing to ruined shores,

And the Parthenon lost its godly lures.

The vista of my vessel is darkness,

The daemons issue my Hellish harkens.

Yet smoke-stained buildings are all that I see,

Devoid of charity, of luxury.

Is my body to be burnt by the fire,

Of natives, without Friday, my squire.

And this conformity shoved upon me

As do my bones feel this great gravity.

And my boat is sailing to ruined shores,

And the Parthenon lost its godly lures.

Innocence is swallowed by shadows dark,

The incubuses, daemons, and the larks.

All come to the feast of my worn-out soul,

And not the Eucharist the gift to souls.

They need not see why we’re so hopeless lost

They forget what experience does cost.

For my ship is sailing to ruined shores,

And the Parthenon lost its godly lures.

And I do glory in the Lord, my God,

Until a woman gets my new found laud.

Yet the dust of death showers the beaches,

My new shore of life, devoured by leeches.

Drift wood millennia old rest right here,

Helen’s ships greeted by Achilles’ leer.

The Ark did smash right on this very shore,

Apples of Eden lay under dead Moors.

For my ship is sailing to ruined shores

And the Parthenon lost its godly lures.

I taste the metal in my molded mouth,

I hear the trains bring nukes in the mecca.

In the mecca, in this, in this mecca….

In this mecca dust blows from buildings brown,

Sand swirls in the streets, and throughout the town.

The mecca is maddening and sadd’ning,

See, the fallout blocked the view of o’r king.

In this mecca tanks lay besieged and dead,

They stormed the citadel, displayed their red.

How worn and anguished highways appear to be,

When beauty doesn’t resonate in me.

My beauty is black, my salvation dead,

Tis time for me to raise the rebel’s red?

My visage in you won’t be reflected,

 touch, to your body, won’t be inflected.

Black mane and green eyes means nothing to you,

But to me it’s the life in which I’m trapped…..

My ship is sailing to ruined shores,

And the Parthenon lost its godly lures.

The mecca lays quiet after the storm,

The buildings with blood only, it adorns.

And one more expulsion from the city,

One more exile in dead woods, not pretty,

I’ll be dead on the freezing and cold ground,

Issuing nevermore another sound.

I do smell of the roses in the air,

Of the lilac perfume that’s in her hair.

Yet my mecca fell so long, long ago,

For waterfront factories in smoke, soaked.

For bombardments and bombs tore up the street,

The death of a soul is no easy feat.

For my ship is sailing to ruined shores,

The devil’s waiting for my soul, waiting…

The fallout is clearing and what do I see,

Nothing, nothing, nothing looking at me.

The outskirts of the mecca lay in sand,

Don’t you know, castles on sand, cannot stand.

There something special buried deep under,

Something special buried in the antiquity….

And when the sun is warm in the blue sky,

When the birds are singing their sweet soft cry.

When the sage green trees let out a summer sigh,

Know that I am gone, know that I have died.

 

Author's Note

The loss of innocence.......

Reviews

[Kianna]

Dear Mike Sieger,

Hello, how are you doing today? I hope all is well with you. I found a little free time to glance through my newsfeed and look for some interesting pieces. The title seemed appealing, so I thought I might see what you have here.

I love these first two lines, "My innocence is departing from me/It seems to be sin's black hand and decree," as they set this sort of dark tone of bitterness and grief.

These two lines are a little baffling, "And losing innocence is no small feat/Yet innocuous, virulent will beat." They don't seem to flow to me. Innocuous means that something is harmless and virulent means something that is poisonous. Maybe you were trying to go for a paradox here. When you say, "And losing innocence is no small feat, I was expecting you to continue and add something to that, but the next line seems to say something altogether. In addition, both the word innocuous and virulent are adjectives. I don't see what you were describing. It's like having a sentence with a verb and no subject.

These have to be the lines that stick out to me, "And my boat is sailing to ruined shores,
And the Parthenon lost its godly lures.
Innocence is swallowed by shadows dark,
The incubuses, daemons, and the larks.
All come to the feast of my worn-out soul,"

I like the mix of mythology that creates this picture of the things that has worn out your portrayed innocence. Particularly, I like the last line.

In this line, "They need not see why we’re so hopeless lost," hopeless should be changed to hopelessly or you should add a comma between the words "hopeless" and "lost."

This line is a little awkward, "They forget what experience does cost." I feel it would be best to replace "what" with "that."

In this line, "Don’t you know, castles is sand, cannot stand," change "is" to "on." I think that's where you were going with this I presume.

One more thing, you seem to dip and out of old English with the word "doth" in the line that says, "glory to my Lord," and some other area in this poem I don't feel like pointing out seems inconsistent as if you are dipping into two different languages randomly. It might just be for rhythm sake. I don't know.

Other than that I like the mix and clash of different literary techniques such as alliteration, metaphors, and allusions. I thought it flowed pretty well and you got your point across. I like how you described everything through the eyes of someone who has lost his/her innocence.

I say good job.

85/100

Sincerely JazzSoulkeke,

God bless

[Mike Sieger]

Thanks for taking the time to right such a great review. I appreciate the constructive criticism. Thanks so much!

[Mike Sieger]

And by " Yet innocuous, virulent will beat" i mean that losing innocence does no physical harm, so it appears innocuouc, but the destruction it does to your soul is more important than your body.

[Kianna]

Dear Mike Sieger,

Your intentions clears it up, but then that makes me question the previous line because you said losing your innocence is no small feat, which means it is a big deal, then you say it is innocuous. It's still a paradox. Perhaps place the word "it" in between "virulent" and "will" to make it to separate ideas and a little clearer.

Sincerely JazzSoulKeke,

God bless