New Surprises

Random Inspiration I had

New Surprises

 

            Neah awoke to the annoying shill ring of a phone. Groaning, the Noah of Destruction waved his hand in the general direction of the phone and the device promptly incinerated into a molten pile of metal… along with several other things that had been in the way. Oh well, they shouldn’t have been in the way, mused Neah before drowsily rolling over and going back to sleep. He slept for what felt like two seconds before there came an obnoxious banging on his door. He ignored it.

            “Neah Walker! I know you’re in there! Get the f**k up!” yelled a familiar voice. Neah groaned and pulled his pillow over his head hoping she’d take the hint and give up. The banging stopping and Neah began drifting off again.

            That is before the bucket of icy cold water was dumped on his head.

            “HOLY-!” screeched Neah leaping out of bed ready decimate anything in his path. He was met with the sight of his next-door neighbor smirking and standing in his room with an empty pitcher and a phone.

            “Your brother.” Was all she said handing the phone over but Neah could tell she was a few seconds from laughing unashamedly at his sopping wet self and what was left of his own phone.

            “Leave.” Snarled Neah trying to restrain himself from killing her. He was trying to keep a low profile here.

            “You sure you don’t need me to baby-sit you a little more? You know, just make sure you don’t burn the whole building down?” she grinned.

            “Yasmine. Get. Out.” Neah gritted out.

            “Ooookay. Just make sure you give me back my phone after.” Said Yasmine going out. Far too cheerful for this time in the morning. Nobody should be that cheerful in the morning. Maybe he should burn down the building after all. Instead Neah simply sighed and brought the phone up to his ear.

            “Yes…?” he sighed.

            “BROTHEEEEEEER~!” exclaimed the Earl, “I was soooo worried when you didn’t pick up the phone!”

            “What is it brother. I was asleep.” Groaned Neah flopping back down onto his bed.

            “STILL?! It’s NOON brother! Are you okay?!”

            “It’s only noon? Ugh… you better have a good reason for waking me up this early Nii-san.” Growled Neah.

            “Oh I do! I do!” said the Earl eagerly seeming to forget all about his horror at his brothers sleeping habits, “I disposing of some Order vermin and I found something veeery interesting that I want you to take a look at ❤!”

            “Yeah sure, be there as soon as I can.” Neah assured hanging up before his brother could gush anymore. Groaning, Neah glanced at his clock again. Noon. He rolled onto a dry patch of his bed and went back to sleep.

****

            “Why’d it take you so long to get down here?” whined the Earl as Neah followed him to the smoking ruins of a Black Order residence a few hours later.

            “I had important things to take care of.” Said Neah vaguely, “What was so interesting that you had to wake me up to come see it?”

            “Oh you won’t be disappointed!” said the Earl happily, “Come see, I found him in the middle of the wreckage.”

            “Him…?” inquired Neah his curiosity peeked.

            “Yes; Him. You’ll have to go the rest of the way without me. I can’t get too much nearer than this but I bet you can.” said the Earl pointing. Neah picked his way in that direction over the still smoking bodies of the Order members that had lived there to a small patch of the house that had remained strangely untouched except for a small ring of sand…. And in the center of that circle lay a whimpering baby.

            “What the….?” Muttered Neah in confusion. The child, a boy if the Earl was telling the truth, had strange dark rings around it’s eyes which were squeezed shut and a fiery tuft of red hair on it’s head. It was also covered in bandages.

            “Those meddling scientists in the Order have done it again~!” proclaimed the Earl happily.

            “I don’t understand, it just a baby.” Frowned Neah.

            “Not just a baby.” Grinned the Earl wagging his finger, “Watch.”

            The Earl snapped his fingers and three Akuma turned their guns upon the child and open fired. The sand instantly rose and sheltered the boy from the bullets and from the falling debris. Then the Akuma took turns slashing at the boy from every direction, but no matter how fast they went the sand always blocked them.

            “Intriguing…” murmured Neah.

            “And that’s not all, one of the members of the Order here was kind enough to tell me (which Neah knew meant had been tortured mercilessly before he was killed) that the boy was new experiment that was meant to be used to find the Heart.” Said the Earl gleefully.

            “How?” asked Neah in surprise starring at the small child.

            “I am not sure. But either way I’d like for you to take him.” Said the Earl rubbing his hands together.

            “ME?!” blanched Neah, “Why?!”

            “Because if the boy really can find the Heart than it would be worth it to use him. Because I want to keep this quite and the rest of the family is s**t at keeping secrets. And because you are the first person who could get close to him at all without the sand reacting.” Said the Early innocently.

            “You just get sick pleasure from tormenting me…” Neah accused.

            “That too! ❤”

****

            Neah startled awake as a shrill cry broke the night. He turned over and tried to ignore it and go back to sleep but he just couldn’t. He pulled the pillow over his head to try and block out the noise but that didn’t work either. That didn’t mean he was going to get up though.

            “D****T NEAH! IT’S 4 IN THE MORNING!” came a new screech as Yasmine slammed open the door. Neah groaned, just what he needed now. He was totally going to end up incinerating the building, the Heart be dammed. There was a short shocked silence before the cries picked up again and Yasmine ripped the covers off him.

            “The F Neah?! Why do you have a BABY in here?! Don’t tell me you knocked some girl up?!” yelled Yasmine.

            “It’s not my baby alright!” whined Neah, “My brother is making me take care of it.”

            “Then take care of it! Don’t stick it in a backpack in the corner of the room with a dog bowl of milk!”

            “Leave me alone! I don’t know how to take care of babies!”

            “OBVIOUSLY!” she marched out of the room and for one glorious moment Neah thought she was just going to leave. The crying stopping abruptly from the other room. Neah fumbled for the blankets from the floor to go back to sleep.

            The lights were turned on.

            “UGH!” moaned Neah.

            “Here, take him.” Said Yasmine un-ceremoniously plopping the baby into his lap causing Neah to nearly drop him, “Support his head, like this, no like THIS. Good. Now put you other hand right here. Yes. Now sit tight for a moment.

            “Wait! Where are you going!?” spluttered Neah panicked by the idea of being left all alone holding a baby when he’d never touched a child in his life.

            “Calm yourself, I am just grabbing some food for him.” Yasmine said over her shoulder as she left, “Just keep him happy till then.”

            Neah gaped after her before glancing down at the baby that was staring teary eyed back up at him. The baby scrunched up his face and began to whimper.

            “No! don’t you dare! Shhhh! Shh! Don’t cry! Shh! dontcrydontcrydontcry!” muttered Neah bouncing the baby awkwardly up and down. The baby gave him a highly distressed look and began wailing at top volume again. It was even worse when it was close up.

            “Yasmine!” called Neah a little franticly.

            “Coming! I am coming!” called Yasmine rushing back with a bottle of warm milk. Plopping down next to Neah she coaxed the bottle into the baby’s mouth and he stopped crying to feed.

            “Thank God…” muttered Neah.

            “Right?” laughed Yasmine tiredly unconsciously resting her head on his shoulder as they leaned back watching the baby eat. Neah felt his eyes grow heavy and he didn’t even notice when mark 愛 appeared on the baby’s forehead when Yasmine’s bare hand brushed against him.

****

            Waking up was a surreal experience. The baby, thank God, was still asleep against him. His right side was strangely warm, though the spot next to him was empty. Neah smiled, in spite of himself remembering falling asleep last night.

            His *new* phone rang.

            “Hello?” asked Neah cautiously picking it up.

            “Wow Neah, you picked up! And it’s only 8 O’clock!” laughed the Earl. Neah glanced at the clock and groaned as he realized he was right. Damn, what was he doing so wide awake anyways?

            “What is it?” sighed Neah.

            “I have a new mission for you.”

            “Damnit brother you just handed me a baby!”

            “Oh, right… well find someone to take care of it while you’re on missions!”

            “But-“

            “Well’p! see you soon then little brother!” said the Earl hurriedly hanging up, probably anticipating the earful of colorful swearwords that Neah was about to inflict upon him. Instead Neah had to be content muttering them to himself as he got up. Glancing at the baby that seemed to be the source of all his troubles Neah made his way out of his apartment and next door.

            “You’re up, it’s a miracle.” Said Yasmine, then sharply, “Where’s the baby?”

            “Back at my house, now I was wondering-“

            “YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE THE BABY!” Yelled Yasmine grabbing Neah by the arm and dragging back to his place. Sure enough the baby was awake and starting to cry when Yasmine rushed in a scooped him up.

            “Shhh, shhh, you’re okay now. I’ve got you.” She murmured holding him close and glaring at Neah.

            “Yeah, so this is kinda what I was talking about.” Muttered Neah running a hand through his bed-head.

            “Hmm?”

            “I was wondering if you’d be willing to take care of the baby for me.” Said Neah, “Like here, because I still have to keep an eye on him. But as you have seen I really don’t know how to take care of babies and I still have to work-“

            “I have to work too you know.” Interrupted Yasmine, “I’ve got to pay the rent somehow you know.”

            “You wouldn’t have to pay rent, you could live here. In fact, you’d have to live here because I don’t want the baby going anywhere. And I’d pay you for your time.” Said Neah hurriedly.

            “You can’t just-“ began Yasmine hotly.

            “I’d pay you a £100,000 upfront for this week. And we could talk about more moving forward if this works.” Said Neah hurriedly pulling the money out.

            “100,000-! But-! Wha-?! Who the hell are you?! Some kind of prince?!” demanded Yasmine spluttering and clutching the baby.

            “Will you do it?”

            “Well- sure I guess for now, but-?!” said Yasmine looking overwhelmed.

            “Great, you start now.” Said Neah shoving the money into her hands and then darting out the door before she could reconsider.

            “NEAH!”

Author's Note

Yeah so, I came up with this idea, and I wasn't going to write it because I have so many other things to write, but then I was chatting with Yazzy and I decided to just go for it. The story itself is kinda short and it has the potential for a follow-up story but I have no idea if I will or not. 'Tis just for fun.
Oh and of course what story would be complete without an attached picture ;)

Reviews

[Imagination-mage]

OMG THIS WAS SO FUNNY:D!! I loved it and I would TOTS appreciate a baby like Gaara. Rachel, me and u r going to Russia to finds me a red head baby:D

[TheEverHungryOne]

Why Russia? Not that I object, but I think the red-head-green-eyed ones are supposed to be in Ireland or something... IDK I am not good at stereo-types. Make sure your husband knows that you plan to adopt though... or would this be a shared parenthood between us sisters?

[Imagination-mage]

....both:D

[TheEverHungryOne]

Great! Always wanted a redhead~!