Pain of Love

Are you willing to take this.. this much pain? All for her? Show me that you love her more than I, or else she will stay here with me.

Eric pounded violently on the door of the dark cell.
"LET ME OUT OF HERE!" he shouted. Only his echo answered.
After several more minutes, he gave up and leaned against the far wall. Defeat was a new thing for him. Being a multi-athlete, he always told himself that losing was not the same as defeat. He had his fair share of losing, but always pushed past it. He never gave up hope, so with that he remained undefeated.
But there was nothing Eric could do here. In the dark cell, there were no opportunities to try again, no alternative strategies to be used. He realized that he was at the mercy of his opponent.
"Who is my opponent anyway?" he thought. He closed his eyes, searching his memory. He was at a movie with his girlfriend Hannah, and then he was driving her home, and then they were flagged down by...
"WILL!" he shouted, "SHOW YOUR FREAK FACE AT ONCE!"
Now that he knew his opponent, Eric ran forward and punched the metal door with all of his strength, but only succeeded in bruising his knuckles.
Will, that piece of s**t. He was that kind of person who hid his eyes behind his hair, the kind that would watch you from a distance, plotting his revenge on the ones that pushed him over. Eric was also certain that Will wanted Hannah for himself, and would do God-knows-what to her.
The hair on the back of Eric's neck stood on end as the realization hit him that he was the enemy of Will for two reasons; he had bullied the boy in the past, and was standing between him and Hannah, and now he was in Will's trap.
"WILL!" he shouted again, barely hiding the fear in his voice, "YOU COME IN HERE AND YOU LET ME GO!"
The door opened with a sliding, metallic creak and the silhouette of a boy entered the room. As he walked into the range of the overhead light, his features were revealed. A pair of cold, piercing eyes shone past a wave of straight, dark hair. In each hand a long knife glinted in the electric light.
Eric was about to unleash a volley of curses at him, but Will spoke first. "Do you really love her? In all the time you were here, you said not a single word about her, only about yourself." The voice was just like the eyes: bitter and sharp, overflowing with barely suppressed anger.
Of course he loved her! She was sweet and fun and beautiful. And she gave him all of it. After receiving something like that, how could he not love her in return?
"Yes I love her! And she loves me! Not you! Where is she? What have you done?"
"She is fine. You should know I wouldn't hurt her. How ignorant of you." The room was silent for a moment, then Will repeated his question, "Do you really love her? How much do you know about her anyway?" Eric was said nothing; he never needed to know much about her or her history. He loved her for the things she was doing now, not things in the past.
Will gave his own answers to his question, "Her favorite food is watermelon, her favorite song is "My Immortal", she wishes she had her old friends back, instead of the ones she has now, she always used to read sad romance novels because they made her feel better about herself, but suddenly stopped when she started dating you, she likes you because you're headstrong and determined, but worries if that same determination will make you abusive to-"
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Eric's voice echoed throughout the cell, silencing Will.
"It doesn't matter how many little things I know about her, I know that I love her and that she loves me."
"How much do you love her?" asked Will. "How much pain are you willing to take for her?"
"What?" asked Eric, not understanding.
Will expertly twirled the knife in his right hand before pressing the tip against his left arm. "Are you willing," he asked, "to take this..." he cut a long gash down his arm, stopping at the base of his hand. Blood poured out of the wound, staining his entire arm and dripping into a small pool at his feet. "..this much pain? All for her?"
Eric's eyes widened in shock. Will fought to control his rapid breathing. "Your turn," Will told him, tossing one of the knives at Eric's feet. "Show me that you love her more than I, or else she will stay here with me."
Eric positioned the blade on his arm, just as Will had done. Beads of sweat ran down his face as he thought about what he was about to do. "Never in my life," he thought, "had I ever thought I would hurt myself. But it's for Hannah, and that's why I must."
He started the cut, and gasped at the pain, causing him to hesitate. Looking up, he saw a new sparkle in Will's eyes. Eric knew that look. It meant that his opponent sensed imminent victory. "I will NOT let you have her!" he screamed in his head. He set his jaw and continued to cut, stopping only when he was at the base of his hand, just like Will had.
Will grimaced in disgust at Eric's success, and raised his own knife again, this time making a diagonal slash across his chest, tearing his shirt. He looked up through his shield of hair, his eyes piercing into Eric's. Eric saw that his opponent was just as determined as he was, and refused to be beaten. He made an identical gash across his chest and glared back into Will's eyes.
The contest of pain continued like this. They each made gashes across the thigh, up the leg, down the side, under the chin, and along the collarbone. Both boys were panting heavily, their life-blood in growing pools at their feet, but neither gave in. Eric tried to avoid as many major blood vessels as he could, curving many of his wounds off to one side to avoid them. Will showed no such restraint. He sliced through is body indiscriminately, glad to shed as much blood as possible for Hannah.
"My love for her," spoke Will, his voice still cold and dark even as his breathing came in ragged gasps, "it cuts through the pain, makes it bearable. The reward is too great; I cannot fail." He made one final slash across his stomach, and then his knees buckled under him and he collapsed to the floor. Eric watched in awe as the boy pushed himself up to a sitting position against the wall. Will managed a weak laugh as he looked at Eric, daring him to continue. Eric ground his teeth together as he made the cut across his abdomen. It wasn't as deep as Will's but still bled freely. He staggered sideways and leaned against the wall as a sudden feeling of light-headedness overtook him.
Will raised his knife, the blood-soaked blade shining crimson. His arm shivered, then shook violently. The knife fell from his hand, clattering to the floor. Will stared in disbelief at it, then buried his head in his hands, sobbing.
Eric said nothing as the boy cried in the corner. Though Will was certainly used to losing, this must be the first time he had ever been truly defeated.
"Will..." said Eric softly, his voice weak.
Will raised his head and removed his hands. His face and hair were sticky with his own blood, his own love. "Clearly you love her more than I, she is rightfully yours," he admitted. He paused for a bit before continuing, "She is in the cell next to this one, the door can be unlocked from the outside. Go and claim your princess."
Eric did not move, but instead asked, "What will you do?"
Will sighed. "Hannah was the only thing I believed in, but now I know that I do not love her enough, else I would have won. Now, I have nothing left. Your wounds will heal, but mine will not."
At that, Will picked up the knife from the floor and stabbed it into his heart.

Author's Note

This is my first short story and I got the idea from a dream I had. I really did have a dream where I challenged somebody to a cutting contest over a girl, the only difference being that I (the villain) won. PLEASE COMMENT ONLY ON THE STORY, NOT MY TWISTED IMAGINATION!

Reviews

[♍ Kirstin ♎]

Holly Crap! You have one vivid imagination. Good write. One small pointer to make it more realistic, when Eric punches the metal door he's more likely to burst his knuckles or split them open all togeather not just bruise them, plus you could have made it more gory by describing more about the blood shed and a bit more believable by describing the pain more. Oh and it would be really cool if you continued this on into a book type thing using this as your basic plot....Sorry it's your idea but my mind is going into overload with what you could do to this so I'm gonna shut up now.

[Hidden_identity]

I could barely take my eyes off this story even to blink. Which made my eyes burn. When Eric screamed "THAT'S ENOUGH", I think it would be better if you didn't use echoed. You already used echo earlier in the story so it sounds repetitive...in the bad way. I think you should describe about the pain more, but not too much. You don't want to bore the readers. It can be hard to find the right balance. You also might wanna try writing more about the blood. But other than that it was really good. Very vivid. When will first came into the cell he really freaked me out. He is a very creepy person, but good for the story.

[Sonali]

i cant digest the ending!smthing better cud've been done but over all the summing up of the pain infliction duo was niceand compact! keep up the dreaming!

[Bookboy]

I'm sorry, but I have to agree with Leon Agnew on this one. The charachters were pretty stereotypical. Also, the idea of two guys competing for one girl's love is also kinda old, even if it was in the context of a blood sacrifice. I mean, this story had a lot of potential to be original and interesting, but honestly, you kinda half-assed it.
Also, I found the idea that both of those boys could cut themselves that much and lose that much blood without going into shock very unlikely. Yes, I know that these are supposed to be stories based off dreams, but I like at least a little realisim. Just one of my quirks.

[JustJordan. x3]

good writee. anyone who would cut themselves for someone they loved both has an unusual thought process but truely does love them. if a guy did that i would truely believe that he loved mee. very good concept.

[HorrorMaster]

very good nightmare story

[PaperHearts]

Wow, that was a pretty intriguing write. Haha, freaked me out, just a tad, I have to admit. :P For your first short story, I thought that this was really well written. You kept an even, enjoyable pace, yet maintained an atmosphere of intensity and suspense. I thought that the imagery that you created was absolutely insane, and that the idea behind this whole story was captivating and somewhat conceptual. :)
~PaperHearts

[Leon Agnew]

Sick? This story isn't sick, it's pretty... pitiful. I think you've let the nonsense portrayed in Saw and Twilight go to your head. The characters are uninteresting and flat. Generic. Really, really generic. I say that word a lot, but this time, I REALLY mean it. I apologize, I may sound harsh. However, I feel like you've taken this dull, high-school jock and somehow fused him with the suicidally depressed kid who's absorbed in his faux "love" for his girlfriend. You really need to take more time developing your characters and actually making them... interesting. There's no real plot, there's just... appeal to the traditional teenage crowd. It's generic, as I said before. I think you have a lot more talent, but you may not want to use it for story-writing.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the story. You have great talent. A complete story in so few words. I like the test and the conversation. The ending was outstanding. A strong story with a happy ending. A excellent story. Thank you.
Coyote

[clairenicole285]

that was....intense. i liked it, and it felt like i could really see this happening. I feel kinda bad for will tho. :/ it seemed like he really loved hannah, but lost at it with eric. great story tho.