If Only You Knew

More of a monologue than a poem. For people who know me, this should mean a lot to you.

If only you knew
Who I really am
Because whatever opinions you have of me
Are probably wrong
Because inside of me
There are so many different people
You can never see them all
Is this wrong of me?
To try to be everybody at once?
Well, I can't change that
If you asked me who I was
I could never give you a straight answer
Because I'm not sure either
I'm like a half-built house
That has been razed by an earthquake
The pieces of my mind scattered everywhere
And me, trying to put them back together
Into a frame that I don't remember
I feel so stressed
But my life seems so easy
Does this make me weak?
Or am I honestly too hard on myself?
Does reading this scare you?
That I might be something more?
Something you don't want?
Well, you'll have to deal with it
Because I've been like this for longer than you think
And I'm not about to change
Are you different now that you know the truth?
Probably not
Because knowing the truth and feeling it are so different
What it feels like being so chaotic
Oh, if only you knew.

Reviews

[AHeartOnMyWrist -Kriste..]

I get how you feel, when nobody fully understands. I know that when you read this you'd probably think, "Oh, she knows nothing, she doesn't understand me one bit." Yet, I think of how lucky I am, to know someone who has a truly amazing heart. Sure, I may not know you fully or understand everything going on in your life and mind, but I know that I like the multitude of people that you are, that I know now and that I'd like to greet more of them one day. Each piece of who you are is special, expressing these feelings doesn't make you weak, for all I know, you could be the strongest person I will ever come to meet. I don't think you are any less of a man to think the way you do, and that this doesn't scare me. I just wanted to say this to you because you are my friend, and that is when you sit alone and pick up the pieces of shattered glass, that you don't have to do it alone. You'll always have a friend at your side, don't doubt that. This poem shows me something great, that you aren't like most people that you'd normally cross paths with in everyday life, that you are unique, reliable, emotional, intelligent, creative, amazing you. There are more qualities that you possess, but that all can't simply fit on a sheet of paper, it fits in your heart.

[qaralynn]

great poem..

[Kanattas Atir Enomo]

great piece. it can apply to a lot of people who are still trying to "find themselves" i liked reference to the unfinished home. that simply inspired and i hope that one day, you will find yourself (totally, not scattered and confused parts, but you as a whole being) and see the beauty that u have to offer this world. keep writing :)

[Caty Boylan]

this is soooooo good, and i totally understand what you mean.

[Gheeneil]

This is like doing a soliloquy infront of the mirror. One talks to his own reflection, asking, probing, knowing who he really is. I believe we take different roles in life, depending on the situation we're in, and this somehow contributes to the confusion. We even wear masks at times. I think Johari Window could best explain this matter. I like this piece. It's something I can relate to. Keep writing.

[H-Jonesy]

This was a great piece of work. It shows how someone might be trying to fit in, and then realizing that they are best when being them selfs, and eventually telling every one to deal with they way they are casue their not changing.

I could never give you a straight answer
Because I'm not sure either
I'm like a half-built house
That has been razed by an earthquake
The pieces of my mind scattered everywhere
And me, trying to put them back together
Into a frame that I don't remember

Those few lines-to me- are the highlight of this poem the way you compare your self to a house that was leveled by a earthquake was brilliant! well done.
Thank you for sharing