May I Think of You?

Okay... So it's clear... I need to redefine some rules here. I started writing this out in code, but realized that not only is that a little creepy, it probably doesn't convey well to every audience, so I'll refrain. Where am I going? Well... My God is logic. I can't escape it, with every attempt I make to escape it, I find myself deeper into it. Logic can be trusted... It's a tricky thing though, because it wont always lead you down the intuitive path and can change its mind when more information becomes available. We get so caught up as individuals in maintaining our position in fear that admitting we're wrong when faced with additional information will tarnish our credibility. That's a childish way of looking at things which should be stopped by everyone, everywhere... Not likely to happen, but I do have control over myself, and I refuse to hold myself to any less of a standard.

Back to the logic, and may I think of you...? It's clear that I'm beginning to drown... Look, it's a big big world out there, bigger than any one person, and while I love to learn a broad range of things and see how they all connect, I also like to have a little depth as well. Well, there is a finite amount of time, energy, and money to pursue interests, which means that if you're so inclined to want to learn everything, you'll try, until you've run out of all three... That's not a good plan... So we need to apply some logic here to bring things under control... I'm not ready to parse out my personal interests, but I am just about ready to nail down which occupational 'time w****s' I'm willing to bleed into my personal life... To avoid the mechanical syntax, I'll try to put this organically.

There are pigs...
There are people I care about...
There are situations I care about...

Pigs want to suck the life out of you and tear you apart... It's part of what empowers them... If you let them take it all, they will, and will enjoy every moment..

There are people I care about... People that, while my attempts may be a 'pissing in the wind', or unwelcome or unappreciated, I believe for myself, I need to invest into them when I can because they're important to me. Not that my reputation is hinged upon their successes, but that their realizing their potential(s) brings a sense of fulfillment to me.. Selfish? What isn't? I could say that I care about them, and want to see them be happy, but that's just a smoke screen for a selfish intent of fulfillment.. I'm not fooling myself, so why try fooling anyone else?

Situations? Yes.. I believe that there are many situations that are sometimes 'warm and fuzzy' and sometimes very uncomfortable, but they're all required to learn and grow from. Not just myself, but others as well.. So I care about them, they're important, need to be approached with respect and honesty...

Well... With my finite amount of personal time, which I must learn to treat as precious, because after all, one day it will be gone, and if I've invested it poorly and regret it, it's my own god-damn fault; I must determine how much of it these 'objects' may consume..

So, logic is clean... Yes or No... Sure, you can cluster these '01's into larger and more complicated questions and answers, but with one foot in front of the other, it's all the same...

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Who are the pigs? Haha... Now I would take great pleasure in expressing that, but it wouldn't help anything other than my sanity, which is of little value....

What of the pigs? Now that's the question... Answer? I'm thrown back to my Sunday-School days as a kid now... Allow me to creep you out!

"Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you." Matthew 7:6

So... The moments that comprise my 'personal time' are my proverbial pearls...

Simply put... Going forward; I may only allow myself to spend time thinking about the pigs when I'm being paid to do so. Thinking or turning on such things in my personal time will be forbidden.

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Who are the people I care about? Again... If you don't know, you probably don't need to know. But what of them? Surely they warrant some time/space above and beyond that which I am monetarily compensated for? To this I say yes, but with terms.. Yes until the contemplation of them interferes with my personal life, interests, inspirations, goals, personal relationships.. IE (While working out, driving, mowing the lawn, and such is fine)

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The situations I care about? I believe I must apply the same logic as is used with the people... They may occupy open space, but not take the place of my personal life and interests...

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All of that said... I think I may feel better... Now it's a matter of discipline... Them piggies have a way of sneaking into your thoughts when your not looking... (Oink Oink) This little piggy goes weeeeeeee--- all the way home.....

Reviews

[PoemRodent]

I do so enjoy reading your works. You have some real unique and excellent ways of deliverance. Its nice to see someone taking the effort to challenge minds of society.

Great write!!!!

Dostani