Life is a Puzzle

Looking backward and forward it has been decided that I live in a
cellular world.  There is a conduit that connects all of those boxes
together, but they're locked up tight only to be accessed when so
desired.  This cellular living has provided many abilities that have
proven effective in certain circumstances, but have resulted in a good
deal of self deception to keep the boxes shut.  It's important that I
do not try to abandon this ability, because it can enable me to do
things that would otherwise be too uncomfortable to do.  Valuable
tool, but as any tool, isn't appropriate for every situation.  It
shouldn't be used as a permanent storage facility as all experiences
good, bad, or in between, need to be fully processed and integrated
into our personalities. So when should this processing occur?   My new
mission statement is, "as soon as I can do so without the impact of
the integration destroying something I care about"...  So... It's all
temporary storage going forward... What of those hundreds of boxes
that are currently on the shelf?  Well..  It's not too unlike cleaning
up an old cluttered house of items that are associated with memories
and feelings...  You do it as you have time and resolve..  Keep a
little pressure on to make sure you keep working on it, but don't
collapse today or tomorrow to reconcile the past.  Unless of course,
you're about to die, in which case reconciliation may take a higher
precedent..  Look the bottom line is, we live in a world of human
beings, and as long as this is the case, we need to not only think and
act like them, we need to feel like them.  We can control the whens,
but the whats and the whys can only be explained so much by
extrapolation, the rest must be through experience, and due to the
nature of this experience, it can not be done in a vacuum.

If I sound like I'm trying to convince myself, it's because I am..

So maybe I'm not so sick in the head..  It's possible I just always
take the long road to get where everybody else is already going..
Detail is important...  Of course, over the last 6 months I have done
an effective job proving that I am a very convincing liar to myself,
and this could be another delusion to keep me distracted and off
course.  Ahh the toils of life...

Me and my puzzles huh?  I suppose for you it must seem strange to look
at the world as a perpetually unfinished puzzle that you can't stop
obsessing over.  hmm..

Reviews

[Taja]

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